The Five Stages of Grief are not Linear
by Talipatra
Summary: AU/AH/OOC Bella, Jasper, and Emmett's father dies. Bella comes home to Forks to take care of younger brother Jasper until arrangements can be made. Family friend Edward steps in to help. M for language and a couple lemons...
1. Chapter 1

Bella's POV

I tapped my pencil on the paper absentmindedly, struggling to read and retain while Mike sat across the room, picking out a melody on his guitar.

"Would you shut up please?" I finally asked, exasperatedly throwing my pencil down. "I'm trying to study here and you're not making it any easier.

He looked up, his dirty blond hair falling into his eyes. To the casual observer, it looked like he'd just gotten out of bed. I knew that he spent at least an hour every morning getting it to look that way. Man spent more time in the bathroom than I did. "I've got this song in my head and I have to get it out and on paper before I lose it." He didn't sound very apologetic. "Besides, it's MY apartment. You've got your own place, go there to study."

I gritted my teeth. He KNEW why I didn't want to go back to my place. Tanya had her latest flavor of the month over and they were being disgusting as usual. But, given the alternative, I started throwing my books in my bag, grumbling under my breath. He gave me a lopsided grin as I grabbed everything up. "See you tomorrow?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

I headed downstairs, mulling over the possibility of going to a coffee shop instead. When I reached the car, an old red pickup I loved, I tossed my backpack in the backseat and headed out. A couple blocks down, I heard the annoying strains of some rock song I hated that was my younger brother Jasper's particular ring tone. I growled in frustration as I drove with one hand and dug around in the cavity of my purse to find my phone. I just put it in there 30 fucking seconds ago, how was it already at the bottom of the fucking bag? I dug it out and flipped it open.

"What?" I snapped.

"Bella…." His voice was strained, desperate. "Bella, you've got to come home. Dad…" he gasped out a sob "Dad's dead."

I just about drove up on the curb. "What?" I asked, stunned.

He was crying now. "He died, B."

"What happened? My dad? Charlie Swan?" I was fighting back sobs as I pulled into a gas station parking lot.

"He just…died. I don't know. B, you've got to come home. I don't know what to do…" he broke off and sobbed harder.

I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel, fighting back the waves of shock. "Hey, hang on. I'll be there as soon as I can. I've got a few things…" I stopped, a wave of emotion hitting me. "Oh Jasper, hold on, honey. I'm coming."

"Bella?" this was an unfamiliar voice.

"Um, hi?" I fought back the sobs making my chest ache.

"Hi, this is Lillian, Roger's mom?" I racked my brain to remember who Roger was. "We're going to take Jasper home with us until you get here, ok? I'll have Jazz text you the address."

"Oh, thanks," I breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to sit at the house, or worse, the hospital, alone for the next however many hours it would take me to get there.

"Drive safe, sweetie. We'll call who we can for you, ok?"

"Thanks," I repeated numbly, wondering who the hell Roger was and how Jazz got so lucky to know him and his mom.

I flipped my phone close without much of a good bye and called Mike. It went to voicemail. Still working on the damn song. I growled my frustration and left him a hasty message, explaining what little I knew.

I pulled out of the parking lot and swung around, an illegal u-turn to head back to campus. I parked and hurried into the English building, searching for Dr. Crane's office. The door was shut and locked. I jiggled the doorknob hopefully, then rested my head against the smooth wood. I turned around and leaned against the door, fighting the ache in my chest.

I composed myself quickly, then hurried out to my car and grabbed a notebook out of my backpack, tearing a page out. I hastily wrote out an explanation, asking Dr. Crane to please excuse me from my class tomorrow. I folded the note in half and ran back inside. I shoved the note under the door, then ran back to the car. I didn't pay much attention and before I knew it, I was at my apartment.

I rushed up the stairs and into my apartment. I ignored the grunts coming from Tanya's room and hurried into mine. I dug my suitcase out from under the bed and began throwing stuff into it. I didn't really pay attention to what was going in the suitcase, just ensuring that shirts, pants and underwear made it in. I froze when I reached for my only black dress. I pulled my hand back, refusing to go there. Dad didn't deserve black. I searched through the closet, finally finding what I was looking for. I stuffed it and a matching pair of heels into the bag.

The drive home was long. Normally a three hour drive, I somehow made it in two. Every time I tried to broach the topic of Dad in my mind, my eyes would cloud up. At one point, I pulled over on the highway and threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel for a few minutes until I was calm enough to drive. I forced myself not to think of anything after that, other than Jasper.

At fifteen, Jasper was still in that whole awkward boy phase. Too tall and skinny to be anything but clumsy, with hands and feet that just got in his way, causing him to fumble and trip a lot. He looked a lot like Dad, a messy mop of dirty blond hair that looked startling against his olive skin, dark brown eyes and an infectious laugh that you couldn't help but join in on. I hadn't seen him since Spring Break six weeks ago, but then he'd dwarfed me. The kid was easily 6'4" already.

I pulled up in front of a neat one story red brick bungalow, checking the address for about the 10th time on my phone. I took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. I was halfway up the walk when the door flew open and a tangle of legs, arms, and blond hair threw itself at me. Jasper slammed into me, nearly taking us both down. I wrapped my arms around my "little" brother as he cried.

"What happened?" I asked when I pulled away from him and looked up at him.

"Shit, B…it's all my fault." He looked so pained when he said that, I couldn't help but shake my head.

"I'm sure you're wrong. What happened?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up on end. Perfect bed head without the hour of work that Mike put into it. "He was mowing the lawn and…he collapsed. I was supposed to do it last weekend but I didn't 'cause I went out with some friends to a movie. If I'd done it he would be ok, B. He'd be here." He started to cry again and I pulled him to me awkwardly.

"If you'd mowed the lawn, then maybe he'd have collapsed somewhere else. It's not your fault." His body shook against me as he cried. I didn't know what else to do so I rubbed circles on his back.

"Bella?" I looked up and saw a woman with immaculate blond hair pulled back into a French twist. "Hi, I'm Lillian." I nodded. "Come on in, there's a few things to talk about."

I managed to maneuver Jasper into the house, where a short kid who looked to be about his age took his arm and led him into another area of the house. Roger. I followed Lillian into an amazing kitchen, settling myself into a bar stool and gratefully accepting a glass of water.

"Your dad collapsed this afternoon mowing the lawn. A lady walking her dog saw him and did CPR. Someone who was driving by called 911 and the paramedics got there and took over. They got him back to the hospital and they did everything they could, but…he was gone, sweetie." She reached over and squeezed my hand. "They think it was his heart. He was just a heart attack waiting to happen, they said."

I nodded numbly. Dad ate pretty well, but heart disease ran in the family. With a pang I thought of my older brother Emmett. "Has anyone called Emmett?" I asked.

Lillian shook her head. "No, Jasper couldn't remember quite how to do it. And it's something like 12 hours later there." I nodded. "Bella, there's one more thing. You need to go identify the remains. Jasper wasn't old enough for the legal purposes." I groaned inwardly, then nodded.

"Can you keep Jazz while I go do that?" She nodded. I downed the last of my water, then headed out.

I drove automatically to the hospital. I couldn't think how many times I'd been here growing up. Since Jasper and Emmett and their friends were always doing something stupid, not to mention I was a total klutz, we made at least one trip a year to the ER. I pulled up in front of a side entrance, where Lillian had told me someone would meet me, and waited. After a few minutes, a youngish man in blue scrubs walked out the door. I stepped towards him.

"Are you family of Charlie Swan?" he asked. I nodded. "Follow me."

We walked through quiet, dark hallways before coming to a small area with several patient rooms branching off of it. He pointed to one. There was a body laying on the table, a white sheet pulled up over it. Funny, I always thought that was made up for the movies.

I stepped forward, suddenly nervous, and reached down to pull the sheet back. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Dad's face.

I stared down at Dad. This wasn't him. It couldn't be. There had to be a mistake. Some truly fucked up joke. I looked around, desperate for someone to jump out, laughing. Nothing. The room was quite. All the machines were off. I reached out a shaking hand and smoothed Dad's hair. It was standing up, messy like he'd just woken up. _Everyone has bedhead_, I thought ironically. His skin was cold to the touch. He looked….surprised. Like he wasn't expecting this. I picked up the corner of the sheet they'd put over him and gently wiped at the blood coming from his nose. "Why is he bleeding?" I asked the nurse without turning around.

"We're not really sure," he admitted.

I nodded and wiped the renewed sluggish flow. I picked up his hand and held it tight, squeezing it, wishing desperately for the return squeeze that always came. Nothing. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and my throat ached. Impulsively I crawled up onto the table and rested my cheek on his chest, surprised at the small amount of residual heat over his heart. I stayed there for a while, then climbed down and nodded at the nurse. "Thanks for letting me see him one more time." He nodded sympathetically.

I followed him out of the room, quickly filled out the necessary paperwork, and then headed home to see Jasper.

It hit me as I pulled up in front of the red house that I was it for Jasper right now. Emmett was thousands of miles away in fucking Russia being all he could be in the fucking Marines, Mom was who the fuck knew where in Africa. Both would be difficult to contact and both would have a hard time getting home. I felt sorrier for Jasper than anyone. He was not only left without a dad at 15, but he was left with me as his guardian.

I dragged myself up the walk to the house. Everything in me hurt and my chest ached from the tears I wouldn't let myself cry. I had to be strong for Jasper. He couldn't see me lose it, even though I desperately wanted to.

The door swung open for me and Jasper grabbed me in a hug again, this time much more gently. He must have realized he was twice my fucking size. "Can we go home?" he asked, his voice breaking.

I nodded and we started back down the walk. I turned and waved over my shoulder at Lillian and Roger who stood in the doorway looking concerned for us.

"Thanks for everything," I said, my voice catching in my throat.

She nodded. "We'll be over first thing with breakfast. You two just sleep."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. Jasper climbed into the truck, careful not to put his feet on my suitcase. We drove in silence the five minutes it took to get to the house. It didn't take more than five minutes to get anywhere in this one horse fucking town. Part of me hated Forks right now. It was an irrational part that thought maybe, if we'd grown up in Seattle, the doctors could have saved him.

I sighed as I pulled into my spot at the familiar white two story house. Stupid, I knew. Carlisle Cullen was a great doctor and loved Dad. He wouldn't have stopped until he knew for a fact that nothing more could be done. Even then, he'd probably have kept going until someone told him to stop. He was the father to Emmett's best friend Edward, so Dad and Carlisle were always talking about some stupid shit the guys did. Being the president of the hospital and the chief of police, there wasn't much Em and Edward could get into without our dads finding out.

Jasper flicked on the light in the living room and I looked around numbly. It was just like it had always been: old furniture that didn't match set in a semi-circle around an old scarred coffee table and facing a nice entertainment center. Dad never saw much point in having nice furniture as long as my brothers and I were home. He didn't mind having nice electronics, though. We'd always had whatever was hot and new before a lot of other kids did: cell phones, iPods, laptops, all of it. Dad wanted us to be on top of technology.

Jasper was already heading upstairs to the room that he and Emmett had shared for 8 years before Em joined the marines and shipped out. It was a bigger room than mine, but there were two of them and they were huge. I followed him up and got to the top of the stairs just in time to see his door closing behind him with a quiet click. My eyes strayed to the closed door of Dad's room and I felt a bubble of grief well up in me. I swallowed it down and headed for my small corner room.

This hadn't changed, either. Still small and cramped, a full size bed taking up a huge part of the room. There was my tiny desk in the outer corner, my bed in the corner to the left of the door, and the closet in the third corner. I set my suitcase down by my desk and dropped my purse into the rocking chair under the window. I toed out of my shoes and pulled my jacket off, dropping it on the desk chair. I knew I should change, but I was exhausted. I crawled into bed, pulling the comforting old quilt around me and drifted off to sleep.

***

Tali: This is something I've been working on off and on as a way of dealing with the grief of my own dad dying. The way Charlie dies and the way Bella says goodbye (minus crawling up on the table, though I did drape myself over his chest) is exactly what happened to my dad. Today is the 3 month/1 day anniversary and it hurts just as much now as it did then. Let me know if you're interested in reading more of this story or if you think it should just end here.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's POV

_"Bella, time to get up."_

_I groaned and rolled over, ignoring Dad in the doorway. _

_"Fine, go back to sleep, but I'm leaving in thirty minutes with or without you and you are going to school. It's snowing so you might want to bundle up for the walk." With that, he flipped on the light and disappeared. _

_I sat up and scowled at his retreating back. I hated school. It was boring and long and stupid. I wanted to turn the lights out and go back to sleep but more than that I didn't want to walk to school. I sighed and stood up, heading towards the bathroom. _

_"I get dibs," shouted Emmett across the hall. I darted into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it before he got there. "I had dibs," he shouted again, pounding on the door. _

_"I can't hear you," I sang, pulling down my pants and relieving myself. I took my time in the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth like Mom taught me to. _

_After about ten minutes I came out and stuck my tongue out at Emmett who was standing in the hall with his arms crossed over his chest. _

_"I had dibs."_

_"Yeah, well I got there first," I taunted as I moved towards my room. _

_"Nice hair, Bella," snickered Emmett as he walked past met to the bathroom. I scowled at him. _

_"At least I _have_ hair," I retorted. He scowled at me. He still hadn't gotten over having his head shaved as initiation onto the varsity football team. _

_I closed the door to my room to dress and pulled on a pair of jeans and a thermal shirt with one of Emmett's old shirts over it. I brushed my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail, grabbing my backpack and rummaging through it to make sure I had everything. _

_"Bella are you up?"_

_I sighed again. Jasper. I opened the door and frowned at him. "What?"_

_"Does this shirt look ok?" he looked up at me with worried brown eyes. He was wearing one of my old shirts that had once been one of Emmett's old shirts. _

_"Looks fine. Come on, we better hurry or Dad will make us walk."_

_He grinned up at me and followed me down the stairs. "Why can't Emmett drive us? He's got a license now."_

_"Because he always picks up Edward, Jessica, and Lindsey so there wouldn't be room for us, too."_

_He sighed. "We're not that big." _

_I shrugged and sat down at the table, staring at the mess in the bowl Dad set down in front of me. "What's this?"_

_"Oatmeal. Eat it, it's good for you."_

_Jasper eyed his skeptically. "How?"_

_"It'll stick to your ribs and you won't get hungry until lunch, now eat."_

_Jasper lifted his spoon of oatmeal and turned it upside down. It didn't move. He looked at me with raised eyebrows. I shrugged my shoulders and took a tentative bite. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. Dad wasn't really that great of a cook. We both started eating, though. It wasn't like Dad was going to give us pop-tarts like Angela's mom gave her. It was this or nothing. _

_Dad finished washing some dishes and turned back to us. "I'm gonna go start the car. Rinse your bowls and meet me there as soon as you're done, ok?" _

_We nodded and spooned more oatmeal into our mouths. Jasper grimaced. _

_"Do we have to eat it all?"_

_I looked over at Emmett's bowl and grinned. "Let's dump it in his bowl and make him eat it."_

_Jasper's eyes lit up and we carefully scraped the remains of our oatmeal into his bowl. I took the bowls and rinsed them while Jasper made it a little less obvious that we'd dumped food into Emmett's bowl. Once we were satisfied no one would really know, we pulled on our coats and headed outside. The cold air was a shock to our bodies so we hurried over to the cruiser._

_Dad was sitting in the cruiser, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music on the radio. We hated the cruiser, but ever since Emmett got his license last month we were stuck riding in it. The other kids thought it was kind of cool, but mostly it was embarrassing. Dad smiled at us as we crowded into the front seat, buckling the seatbelt around us. _

_"What's this song, Dad?" asked Jasper as we backed out of the driveway and started towards the elementary school. _

_"It's called _The 1812 Overture. _Listen to this part." There were trumpets and crashing cymbals filling the car with music. Jasper's eyes widened when the sound of booming cannons came in on the beat. Dad grinned, tapping the steering wheel in time to the cannons and trumpets. _

_The song ended as we pulled up in front of school and Dad turned to us, turning the radio down as the announcer began to talk about the composer. "That's a famous piece. It's played on the Fourth of July during the fireworks show."_

_Jasper was still looking at the radio wide-eyed. "Can we get it on cd?"_

_Dad laughed and ruffled his hair. "Sure. Get in there and learn, ok? I'll see you at home later." He leaned down and kissed Jasper on top of the head then leaned across and gave me a kiss on the lips. _

"_Wow sweet, chocolate ice cream, grandmother's apple pie!" we shouted in unison, grinning like crazy. _

_Jasper and I crawled out of the car and started towards the door. Jasper slipped his hand into mine as we got further away from the car. We didn't have to look back; we knew Dad was watching until we made it safely inside. _

When I woke up the next morning it was raining. It was _always_ raining in Forks. I hated that. I dragged myself out of bed feeling completely gross from having slept in my clothes. I shuffled into the bathroom and peeled everything off and stood under the hot spray for as long as I could stand it before finally scrubbing myself clean and climbing out. This bathroom was way too fucking small for everyone in this family. The toilet was butted up between the single vanity sink and the tub/shower combo. Luckily, I was a hell of a tomboy and didn't get into girly shit like make-up and doing my hair, so I just needed space for my three bottles in the shower and my shaving supplies. Dad and the guys had always all used the same shampoo as me, so it was simple enough.

I wrapped the familiar faded blue towels around myself and stepped out. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Dad's razor and toothbrush neatly on the sink. I reached over and touched them gently. He'd never use these again. My vision clouded over and I wiped at my eyes quickly. Now was not the time. There was shit tons to do.

I hurried into my room and dressed quickly, pulling my wet hair back into a clip as I headed downstairs. I swore under my breath as the doorbell and the phone rang at the same time. I raced down the last few steps and grabbed the cordless off the end table in the living room, hitting on as I headed to the door.

"Hello?" I said, a little out of breath as I answered the door.

"Bella? It's Edward."

"Edward, hi. Oh god, it's so good to hear from you." I smiled at Lillian as she came in with Roger behind her carrying a casserole dish that smelled amazing.

"Are you two ok? Can I do anything? What about Em?"

I closed my eyes. "Fuck. I forgot to call him last night."

"I'll do it. Don't worry about anything, ok? Do you need food?"

I sighed and rested my forehead on the door. "I don't think so. You'll be at the service, right?"

"Fuck yeah. Wild horses couldn't keep me away. Look, I've got to run. I'll stop by later, ok?"

I nodded. Shit. I needed to call the school for Jazz.

"Love you, B."

I grinned into the phone, fighting back tears. "Love you, too E."

"Bella?" I hung up the phone and wiped my eyes quickly, turning to see Lillian smiling at me hesitantly. "I can't find any hot pad holders."

"Oh, sorry." I started towards the kitchen. "Our furniture is so crappy we never used anything like that. I think there are some towels somewhere that'll work." I dug frantically through several drawers before I finally found something that would work. Lillian watched me with concern the whole time. I pasted on a fake smile and folded the towel awkwardly and put it on the table. "That work?"

She nodded and offered me a small smile as she put the dish on the towel. "Everything's hot, you just need to serve it and eat. There's plenty so you can save it for later."

I nodded, distracted by the fact that the phone was ringing again. I gave her an apologetic look as I answered it.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad," the woman on the other end started as soon as I said hello. "I'm putting together a food schedule. Is there any dietary things I should know about?"

"Um, no. Jazz and I will eat just about anything. Who is this?"

The woman laughed. "It's Beverly, sweetheart."

I groaned inwardly. Beverly. She'd been trying to get her hooks into Dad for years, ever since my ill-fated ballet lessons at her studio.

"Oh, hi Beverly."

"Anyway, I've got a key, so if you or Jazzy aren't there, I'll just let myself in and put the food somewhere and leave you a note, ok?"

"Great, thanks so much." I rubbed my forehead. I really wanted to go back to bed.

"Oh, it's my pleasure. Your dad was such a wonderful man. Everyone loved him."

I swallowed the lump in my throat again. "Thanks," I repeated hoarsely. "Bye."

I hung up the phone and turned back to Lillian. "Sorry."

She smiled. "You've got a lot on your plate. I'll let you get to it." She pulled me into an awkward hug and then she and Roger exited the house as quickly as they'd entered. I looked at the food on the table and then down at the phone that was ringing again in my hand. I silenced the phone and put it in the cradle before heading upstairs. I headed into Jasper's room and crawled into bed with him, going back to sleep.

Edward's POV

I entered the house like any other time. I'd been here almost as much as my own home, joking around with the Swans, teasing Bella and babysitting Jasper, doing homework with Emmett at the scarred kitchen table. The house was eerily quiet. Charlie's chair was empty and the clock on the mantle ticked loudly. Bella's old red truck was parked out front so I knew she was here. I peeked into the kitchen and saw a pan of food sitting out on the table, now cold. The answering machine on the wall was blinking furiously with the number of messages it contained. I decided to make a full sweep of the house before taking any action.

I headed up the stairs quietly. The bathroom door was open and there were used towels hanging on the shower curtain rod, so I knew someone had gotten up today. Bella's door was open and the blankets were rumpled but the bed was empty. Her suitcase was sitting open on the desk and there were shoes and clothes discarded around the floor. I paused in the hall and looked back and forth between the remaining two doors. Charlie's and Jasper's. I took a deep break and opened Jasper's first.

I was relieved to see Bella curled around Jasper, both of them fast asleep. She looked absolutely tiny next to her brother, but then he was a freaking giant. I studied them for a moment before heading back down to the kitchen.

I grabbed a pad of paper and a pen out of the kitchen drawer and grabbed the handset to take messages down. I put some plastic wrap over the top of the casserole dish and slid it into the fridge. Maybe they'd be interested in eating later.

There were literally dozens of messages. People offering condolences, the funeral home calling to schedule an appointment, the lawyer calling to set up a meeting. I jotted it all down carefully, deleting as I went. I knew there'd be more when they woke up, but I hoped this would help some.

I taped the note to the fridge and headed out. My lunch break was almost up and I had to get back to work.

Bella's POV

I woke up at the sound of a car pulling out of the driveway. I sat up groggily and looked at the clock on Jazz's bedside table. It was close to 1. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed and headed downstairs. Beverly had probably dropped by some food, though I couldn't see her not poking around to find us, since my car was sitting in the driveway.

I smiled, pleasantly surprised to see a note on the fridge in Edward's familiar slanting handwriting.

_B._

_I wrote down all your messages and put the food in the fridge. _

_If you need __anything__ let me know. _

_Love you two,_

_E._

I grinned and glanced over the list of messages. Most of it could be ignored, but I had to talk to the lawyer and the funeral home. I groaned, dreading all of that.

"Is there anything to eat?"

I turned and smiled at Jazz. "Yeah, Lillian and Roger brought a casserole by. It's in the fridge."

He nodded and pulled it out. He scooped out a huge serving and shoved the plate into the microwave. We sat in silence while it cooked.

"So…now what?" he asked finally.

I sighed and sat across from him. "I have to go make the funeral arrangements. Then I have to talk to the lawyer. Everything will be fine, Jazz, I promise."

He nodded and took a bite of the casserole. "This is good."

I chuckled and reached over with a fork lying on the table. It was good. He pushed the plate to the middle of the table and we ate it in silence.

***

So, my dad would wake me up in the morning by flipping on the overhead light. We lived in a house that was at one point turned into offices so we had fluorescent lights and those are super bright at 6 am in the winter. He'd make breakfast for me and my little brother and then go warm the car up while we ate. Most of the memories at the beginning of future chapters are actual memories of mine. Let me know if you think I should leave them out.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Esme's POV

_"Hello Charlie." I smiled as he came up the steps holding the tiny girl. He grinned at me. _

_"Hi Esme. How's your morning been?"_

_I shrugged. "Edward overslept so Carlisle had to run him to school rather than let him take the bus."_

_Charlie chuckled. "That sounds about right. I have those problems with Emmett. I'm dreading when they get to be teenagers."_

_Bella turned and smiled at me. "Esme!" she crowed, reaching her arms for me. _

_I smiled and took her from Charlie. He handed over a small pink backpack that I knew held a change of clothes and a couple of Bella's favorite toys. She usually had her favorite doll, Julia, clutched to her chest but today Julia was noticeably absent. "Where's Julia, sweetheart?" I asked._

_"She had to stay home today. She has diarrhea." Bella said it so gravely I fought back the smile that threatened to take over. _

_"Well, that's a good thing then. We don't want you getting sick, too."_

_Bella smiled and squirmed to get down. I set her down and she ran inside to play with the toys the boys wouldn't let her near when they got home. I looked up at Charlie and raised my eyebrows. "Diarrhea?"_

_He laughed and shook his head. "I'm not sure where she heard that, but she's been using it quite a bit."_

_I grinned. "Well, ok then. Anything I need to know before you go?"_

_He shook his head. "No, she's fine. She didn't eat much for breakfast, so make sure she eats. She's so little…is that normal?" he looked past me in concern. _

_I laughed. "We're just used to boys who eat and run and play like wild children. She's fine, Charlie. Carlisle would say something if he had any concerns, you know that." _

_He nodded but still looked skeptical. "Well, ok. Take care of her for me Esme."_

_I smiled. "I always do."_

_"Goodbye, Bella," he called past me. _

_A little blur came running, throwing herself at Charlie and wrapping her arms around his legs. "I love you Daddy," she beamed up at him._

_Charlie grinned and scooped her up, kissing her on the neck. "I love you too, Bella."_

_They kissed on the lips then. "Wow, sweet, chocolate ice cream, Grandmother's apple pie," Charlie laughed. Bella grinned at him. _

_"And cimanon toast!"_

_He grinned. "Yes, and cinnamon toast." He kissed her again and put her back down. She ran back inside and he watched her with pride. He smiled at me. "Thanks again, Esme."_

_I nodded and headed inside, pulling the door shut behind me. _

I knocked on the door. I felt bad for not being here last night when Bella got in. She shouldn't have had to come home to this cold empty house, but I couldn't change that now. Bella answered it, her hair wild around her face and smiled.

"Esme," she breathed, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here."

I smiled and hugged her back. "I just wanted to talk to you about a couple things. Do you have time?"

"Sure." Bella smiled and stepped back. "Sorry the place is a mess. We aren't that neat."

I laughed. "I raised Edward and partially Emmett, remember?"

She grinned and motioned to the couch. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

She sat down on the couch next to me. "So how's everything?"

I sighed. "Well, obviously could be better. I wanted to talk to you about your dad."

"Ok." Her posture changed slightly.

I took her hand in mine and rubbed the back of it. Her hands were so tiny, they were like a child's hands. "I saw your dad the afternoon he died. We ran into each other at the diner and had lunch." She swallowed hard.

"How was he?"

"He was fine. He was so excited that you were going to be home in a couple of weeks, even if it was just for the weekend. He was telling me about some of the things you were going to do together. He was telling me about your boyfriend, Mike. Bella, sweetie, he was so proud of you and everything you're doing with your life."

Her face crumpled and she closed her eyes, fighting back tears. I reached up and smoothed her hair away from her face.

"He loved you so much and talked about you all the time. I never wondered what you or Emmett or Jasper were up to because he'd always tell me."

She nodded, her eyes red rimmed. I reached over and pulled her close to me. I'd always wanted a daughter and after being told Edward was the only child we could ever have, I'd basically adopted Bella as my daughter. She leaned into me, crying softly. I rubbed her back because I didn't know what else to do. I wished I could take her pain away but I knew that I couldn't, that only time would make this not hurt so much.

After a while, she sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. "Thank you, Esme." She wiped her eyes and gave me a wobbly smile. "I know he was proud of us, but it's still nice to hear."

I smiled back. "He was always so concerned about you. When you'd come over to my house in the morning before school, he always told me to make sure you ate because you were so tiny and he was scared you'd get sick. And he'd always tell me to take care of you. Every morning, those were the two things he said to me. And he'd always give you a kiss goodbye."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. We had a chant for that, about how sweet they were."

I nodded and patted her leg. "Now, what can I do around here to help you three out? Is Emmett here?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet. He's going to try to get here before the service."

"Ok." I nodded and stood up, surveying the room. "Well, I can see that my task is going to be cleaning up the house."

Bella laughed at the sudden change in topic. I didn't mean to be so abrupt, but I had to do something. Bella and I were alike in that we didn't like to sit idle for long periods of time. She pulled out the cleaning supplies and we worked slowly, starting in the kitchen and moving through the living room and into the tiny room where Bella's piano was. I wondered if Bella would ever play again; Charlie had been the main reason she played in recent years.

We dusted and vacuumed and cleaned the house within an inch of its life. Bella looked a little more content when we finished and I made us some sandwiches using some of the chicken I found in the refrigerator. We ate in quiet companionship, sitting at the small table.

Bella's POV

I was so relieved to see Esme standing on the doorstep. I'd really missed her. I wished again, like I had so many times as a kid, that she really was my mother. Renee wasn't bad, she was just more concerned with her own life than with anything else. She'd been too busy saving the world to put dinner on the table most nights and had eventually left Dad to go save orphans in Africa. Jasper had only been 2 at the time, but Emmett and I were 12 and 7 and we knew what we were losing. It was made even more obviously painful by the fact that Esme was the one who watched us after school until Dad could get us.

I watched Esme drive off, waving again as she backed onto the street and headed to the white house with the black shutters I loved so much. I already missed her. I turned and walked into the small room with the piano. I could see Dad standing in the doorway, making goofy faces at me, trying to break the frown off my face as I scowled at the music I so hated.

"Don't smile, it'll make your face crack into a million pieces."

I turned and grinned automatically at Jasper. He ran his fingers through his hair and studied the small room. "Did you sleep ok?" After our late lunch, he'd gone back up and back to bed. I didn't want to do anything but sleep, either, but I'd gone to see the funeral home and made the arrangements while he napped, only just getting home when Esme arrived.

He shrugged and settled onto the little chair in the room where my teacher had sat. "Ok. I had a dream that this was all a dream. I woke up and when I saw what time it was I nearly shit a brick, thinking I'd overslept and was late for school."

I nodded and sat on the bench, facing him. "Do you want to go to school?" I asked curiously. I didn't particularly want to go myself, but maybe having something like that as a distraction would be good.

He picked at the hem of his shorts thoughtfully. "No, not really. I was doing ok in my classes, I don't think I'll fail if I don't take the finals."

I nodded. "Well, I've called and spoken to the school. You'll still have to take them, but you can take a week or so off first."

He was quiet. "So are you going to play something or what?"

I chuckled softly. "Maybe. I don't know. What should I play?"

He rolled his eyes. "Dad's favorite, of course. How many times did he play that damn song anyway?"

I laughed. "One hundred, remember? 'If I can play it 100 times, I'll know it.'" I grinned. "It was total bullshit. He still sucked at it."

He snickered. "You should play it at the service, Bells. He'd like that."

I nodded, a lump in my throat. "I'm not sure if I could," I said honestly.

"I'll sit with you if you think it'll help."

I smiled. "I'll see if I can pick out the notes. I'm not sure where the music is, to be honest."

He shrugged. "Esme will have it. She taught lessons for years and any piano teacher worth her salt will have that, right?"

I laughed. "Yeah." I turned around on the bench and carefully lifted the lid over the keys and lovingly stroked them. I missed playing more than I'd admit to anyone. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye as Jasper joined me on the bench.

I lifted my hands and carefully put them in place. I knew this song better than anything else: I'd heard it probably thousands of times once Dad had gotten it into his head to learn it. Jasper's arm wrapped around my waist as I slowly started picking out the song. I stumbled through it, finally stopping when I got to the one page I'd never been able to memorize. We sat in silence, letting the last of the notes hang heavy in the air.

"People will know when I fuck up," I said finally, my voice husky.

Jasper shrugged. "If they know us they won't say anything. If it bothers them, fuck 'em."

I grinned and wrapped my arm around him. "You'll sit with me?"

"Hell yes."

"Then we need to get the music so I can practice."

***

Tali: So, I actually had a doll named Julia (she's upstairs in bed right now) who suffered from repeated fits of diarrhea when I was a child. When she was well enough, she'd go to daycare or even school with me. I think I took her up til like, 2nd grade. I was an odd child. The woman who watched me when I was really little is like my second mom and the day after my dad died, my mom and sister and I came home from running around town making arrangements and she was there. I assumed she was there for my mom since they're really good friends, but her whole point was to tell me basically everything that Esme tells Bella and Esme's memory: my dad was always concerned that I wouldn't eat enough and asked her to make sure I was ok. He saw her the day before he died as he was dropping my nephews off at school where she was the headmistress and talked her ear off for about 30 minutes about our 4th of July plans and how excited he was that my husband and I were coming and how even though he was ready for us to have kids, we weren't there yet. I can definitely see him telling her all that, moving his hands animatedly, his eyes wide and a big grin on his face. We also chanted those exact words (minus cinnamon toast, though sometimes whipped cream and sugar were added...we're weird people) every time we kissed, the last time being right before he walked me down the aisle. Even at 24, I wasn't too embarrassed to kiss my dad on the lips and I hope that my daughters and nieces will have that same love for their daddies.

My dad had a beloved classical piece (named in the next chapter) that he was convinced if he played it 100 times, he'd know it. I got so frustrated listening to him, I'd hide the music so he got a CD with the song on it and he'd play it over and over. He never did really quite get it.

This is REALLY hard to write, and I'm impressed I've actually gotten as much written as I have. Thanks to everyone reading and especially to reviewers. It means a lot to me that this story is viewed as something special to people other than me (or something like that)...lol Another question: do you want more explanations about the memories? I can leave that out, for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella's POV

"_Bella, wake up." _

_I sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes. "Is my sister here yet?" I yawned. _

_Daddy smiled. "No, but you have a new brother."_

_Emmett grinned. "A brother?"_

_Daddy nodded and his smile widened. "You want to come see him? Mommy's wanting to see you."_

"_Ok, sure. Are we still going to the circus this afternoon?" I asked, jumping down from my chair and taking Daddy's hand. _

_He chuckled softly. "Well, you and Emmett are going with the Cullens, but Mommy and Daddy have to stay behind with the baby."_

_I frowned. "But I want you and Mommy to come with us."_

_Daddy stopped and bent down in front of me. "Sweetie, we can't. We have a baby now and we have to take care of him. We'll go to the circus with you next year, I promise." _

_I pouted. "Babies ruin everything."_

_Emmett laughed. "Yeah, you were a pain when you came, but you're not so bad now. You'll get used to him."_

_I sighed. "Promise we'll go to the circus next year with everyone?"_

"_Promise." Daddy kissed my forehead and picked me up. _

_We entered the quiet room where Mommy was lying in a bed with a small blue bundle in her arms. She looked up and smiled. _

"_There's my girl."_

_Daddy set me down on the bed and I crawled over carefully to study my brother. He was red and wrinkled and sleeping. _

"_Why is he sleeping?" I demanded._

_Emmett stood on one side and looked down at the baby with disinterest. "Babies sleep," he shrugged, heading over to a chair and sitting down with his magazine. _

_I reached out and touched the baby's cheek with one finger. "What's his name?"_

"_Jasper," said Mommy proudly. _

_I made a face. I didn't like it. He opened his eyes then and stared at me. A tiny hand came out and grabbed my finger tightly. _

"_He's holding my finger," I laughed. _

_Mommy smiled. "He's telling you he loves you. You get to be a big sister now and take care of your little brother."_

_I nodded and moved my hand a little, the tiny baby hand still tight around my finger. "I love you too, baby." I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead. _

"_Family hug," announced Daddy. "But Emmett, be careful."_

_Emmett rolled his eyes and crossed the room. I leaned against Mommy and Daddy and Emmett squeezed us from either side of the bed. Jasper still held on tightly to my finger. _

I was exhausted. The last three days had been a haze of visitors, food, flowers and planning. I had been granted temporary custody of Jasper until we could get in touch with Mom. She was in some village digging fucking wells or something. The funeral service was going to be simple enough: a few people were going to get up and say a few words and we'd have some of Dad's favorite music peppered in. The minister had been relieved to hear that Dad loved classical. He hadn't been as relieved when Jasper specifically requested _The 1812 Overture._ I stared up at the front of the church tiredly. It was impossible to believe that my father was in that small box.

We'd decided to have him cremated. It was a shit ton cheaper than burial, plus we knew Dad wouldn't want to be just stuck in a hole. The idea of him being in a dark hole for all eternity was much more painful to me than the thought of him being burned for a couple hours. Plus, this way we could wait until Emmett got here to decide what to do with the cremains. He was on his way but got delayed in Japan or some shit like that. I fucking hated the military right now.

Luckily, his wife Rosalie had managed to come up from Seattle and was now making the rounds on the other side of the foyer, shaking hands and accepting condolences. She was way fucking better at this than I was. I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep until it didn't hurt anymore.

I turned to looked at the crowd, feeling slight annoyed at everyone asking me the same question: "Is there anything we can do to help?" Jasper's eyes were swollen and red, and I was trying to remain calm and collected but finally my irritation got the best of me. A well meaning woman put one hand on my forearm, the other on my shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do to help, dear?"

"Can you bring the dead back to life?" I snapped. She pulled back, shocked. "Sorry," I mumbled, though I really wasn't. She moved on quickly, looking over her shoulder at me and whispering to another woman. I furrowed my brow.

"Bella, Jasper." I looked up and saw the first really familiar face all day: Edward Cullen. He pulled us to him, crushing us in a giant three person bear hug. "Christ, this sucks," he murmured. He pulled back and looked at us, worried. "Are you ok? Are you eating? God you look skinny." I rolled my eyes. Always in protective big brother mode.

"I'm as good as can be expected," I sighed, wishing he was still hugging me.

He nodded and looked at Jasper. "Shit, kid, you're tall," he said with a small grin. "Almost as tall as me." Jasper grinned in spite of himself. I felt a swell of affection for Edward. As short lived as the grin on Jasper's face was, it was still a smile. He hadn't really smiled in the three days since Dad's death.

"Do you have plans for this evening? I'll come over with dinner. Hope you like Chinese, I'm a shit cook." I felt a smile creep onto my face.

"Chinese is great, but you don't have to."

"Whatever. Charlie was practically my dad, too." He swallowed hard and my chest ached seeing him fighting emotion. "Emmett emailed me to look after you three as long as you're here until he can get back."

He pulled me into another bone crushing hug. Edward reached out and pulled Jasper into the hug. I looked up at Edward. "You have to sit with us. There's no way we're sitting alone up there."

He nodded. "Not a problem. You're my fucking family."

"Bella." I turned then and saw Dad's two best friends, Billy Black and Carlisle Cullen. Billy had spoken and was holding out his arms.

I bent down and hugged him back. I resisted the urge to curl up in the lap created by his wheelchair and instead turned to hug Carlisle.

"How are you?" asked Carlisle softly, studying my face.

I smiled. "Better than I deserve," I managed, using Dad's favorite response to that question. Carlisle pulled me back into a hard hug. Not for the first time, I noticed that he and Edward hugged alike.

When he released me I wiped my eyes quickly. "You'll both sit with us?"

"Of course. I was going to even if you didn't want me," grinned Billy. I smiled back.

"Where's your beast of a son anyway?"

He sighed. "Jake wanted to be here, but he couldn't get away in time. He's got finals this week."

I nodded understandingly. I was supposed to be in my first final right now. Esme came over then, pulling me into a hug. I wanted to start crying right there but wouldn't let myself.

"Are you ok?" she asked smoothing my hair back from my face.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. She kissed my forehead then took Carlisle's arm as they headed down the aisle to sit next to Edward and Mark. Jasper quietly grasped the handles on the wheelchair and pushed Billy down to be next to our pew.

I hung back, not so much to talk to more people, but in the desperate hope that Emmett would show up. I smiled unseeingly at the people who patted my arm and passed into the sanctuary. I kept looking at the door, hoping against hope that he'd make it.

"Bella?"

I turned and sighed softly. "Hey, Rose."

"Should we sit now?" she looked uncertainly around her at the rapidly thinning crowd.

"I was hoping Emmett would be here soon."

She nodded and slipped her arm around my waist. "I'll wait with you."

We stood for a few minutes, nodding at the few stragglers. I finally sighed. "We should go in now. If he gets here, he'll come in."

She nodded and we headed in to the sanctuary and up the long aisle to the front pew.

Edward's POV

The service was so…Charlie. Laid back, relaxed, full of classical music and lots of lame jokes. I was really surprised when part way through, Bella and Jasper got up and sat at the piano on the side of the sanctuary. Bella started out slowly but quickly picked up the pace as she played _Fur Elise._ I grinned at Mom, who wiped a few tears away. Anyone who knew Charlie would know the story behind that song. He'd been inspired by tiny little 6-year-old Bella rocking out on the piano and had spent the next ten years or so trying to learn that one piece. It was fitting that she played it for him now.

The funeral ended with _The 1812 Overture_ and I couldn't help but grin at Bella as she, Jasper, and Rosalie stood up to exit the sanctuary. She smiled back at me faintly, tears in her eyes. She and Jasper held each other as they walked up the aisle and Rosalie followed, wiping her eyes. I pushed Billy up the aisle and Dad put his arm around Mom as we followed the Swans. The rest of the congregation followed us out.

Bella stood tall at the entrance, smiling and shaking hands as needed, one arm securely around Jasper's waist. He had an arm wrapped around her and it tugged on my heart to see them literally holding each other up. Bella's dark hair was loose around her face, draping over her shoulders in a dark silk curtain. She was wearing a dress in what I knew was Charlie's favorite shade of blue and a necklace that he'd given her for her 16th birthday. I couldn't see, but I was sure she was wearing the earrings that went with it. Jasper was also in blue and I grinned, glad I'd had the same thoughts and dressed myself in blue. It was nice to see some color in the sea of black.

I caught her eye and she smiled slightly at me. "See you later." I mouthed and she nodded.

"Thank you" she mouthed back.

I turned to my parents and Billy. "I'm going to the Swans for dinner tonight. I'm sure you're all welcome to come."

Mom smiled and shook her head. "I'm sure they've had lots of visitors. I'll go see check on them tomorrow."

I nodded and gave her a hug. Dad hugged me too and I shook hands with Billy before they all exited ahead of me. I headed out the back where I'd parked in the little used lot. I figured I'd give them a couple hours before heading over. It'd give me some time to change and rest.

I was pulling into the drive of my tiny bungalow when my phone deedled at me. I pulled it out and scowled.

"What the fuck do you want?" I snarled into the phone.

"Temper, Ed. You shouldn't talk that way to your wife."

"EX wife, Tanya. What do you want?"

"I'm just checking to see how things are. I heard that Forks' favorite police chief died suddenly."

"And?"

She sighed. "God, Edward, I'm not the total bitch you think I am. I just wanted to check and see how you are. I know how close you were to him. Or Emmett in any case."

"I'm fine." I was trying to calm down but just talking to her pissed me off. I seriously regretted that I'd wasted three years of my life on her. The best thing about that relationship had been that it ended.

"Well, good." She was quiet for a beat. "And the Swans?"

"They lost their father, how do you think they're doing?"

"Is there something I should do?"

"No. You weren't exactly popular in their house."

"I still feel like I should do something."

"Then send a card," I snapped. "You were never friendly to them, you always looked down on them, I don't get why you give a damn now."

"Fuck you, Edward," she spat, hanging up in my ear.

"Already did," I muttered, shoving the phone back into my pocket.

Bella's POV

I set the box on top of the piano and headed into the kitchen. Jasper followed me like a lost puppy.

"Hungry?" I asked.

He nodded and we opened the fridge and stared into it together. Nothing looked appealing. We had leftovers of just about anything: fried chicken, pizza, pasta, pot roast, some kind of pea salad we both hated and some Mexican dish. I turned to the array of baked goods on the counter: we had three different cakes, a ton of cookies, a couple pies, even some homemade bread. I grabbed the bread. Suddenly banana bread sounded fucking epic.

Jasper grabbed the zucchini bread and we headed into the living room wordlessly. We settled on the couch, neither of us even glancing at Dad's chair and flipped on the TV.

We ate in silence for a while before the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Bella, its Rosalie."

I straightened up in my seat. "Hi, Rose."

"I'm checking out of my hotel. I should be there in a few minutes."

"Ok, great. Think you can remember the way?"

She chuckled. "I think I can manage. Forks isn't that big."

I rolled my eyes. "No shit. We'll see you in a few." I hung up and looked over at Jasper. "She's on her way."

He nodded and kept chewing. We sat quietly for a moment before I got up and headed upstairs. I wanted to change before she got here. Jasper sat on the couch looking tired.

Rosalie's POV

I sighed and climbed out of the car. It was ostentatious, a Jaguar in this piddly town, but I hadn't thought about that when I'd left Seattle.

I knocked on the door, exhausted. It was opened a moment later by Bella. She was just like always, minus the infectious laughter and sparkly eyes, but that was understandable.

She smiled at me and held the door open. "Come in."

Jasper was sitting on the couch eating what looked like a small loaf of black bread wrapped in foil. He stood up and crossed the room, crushing me to him in a bear hug.

"Hi, Rosalie."

I smiled and hugged him back. We'd just seen each other but I understood: right now family was the utmost in importance.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Jasper, pulling back and setting his bread down on the coffee table.

Bella flushed. "I'm so sorry, I should have asked."

"I'm fine."

We all sat down on the couch and stared at the TV, unseeing. What were we supposed to do now? I knew there was a lot to do, but none of us wanted to do it.

"We should like, get rip roaring drunk and then go streaking or something. Take the edge off."

I grinned. I liked Bella. I opened my mouth to say something when the front door banged open and Emmett burst in.

"Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't here sooner," he said, throwing stuff on the floor and wrapping his arms around his siblings who jumped up and threw their arms around him.

I felt embarrassed, intruding on such a private family moment. I looked away but Bells pulled back and gestured for me to join.

"Family hug," she explained. "We did it all the time as kids."

I stepped forward hesitantly and was engulfed in the loving arms of the Swans. We stood for a moment and then someone started crying and before too long, we were all crying.

I didn't cry. Ever. But then, no one close to me had ever died. Still, I could feel the tears rolling down my face. I'd known Charlie for three years and he was a wonderful man who was devoted to his children. It wasn't fair that he was gone so soon.

Emmett released Bella and Jasper and pulled me close against him, rubbing my back. "Thanks for coming, babe, I know you had work stuff."

I relaxed against him, sighing softly against his chest as his scent wrapped around me. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do."

He kissed my nose. "I love you."

I grinned up at him. "I love you, too."

***

Tali: So, true story. My little brother was born the day we were supposed to go to the circus and so we didn't get to go with my parents. Dad told us we could go another time and that day, my brother was sick so Mom stayed behind with him and Dad and I went alone. I still tease him about the fact he ruined the circus for me.

I'm having some trouble with this story, more because I'm not feeling the plot line. I'm not sure where it's going, to be honest. I've got a couple more chapters written, then I'm out. I'll post those and then...we shall see. Luckily, there's not tons of people following this so I won't feel too bad if I go on a hiatus with this story. I'll still feel bad, don't get me wrong, but it'll give me time to figure out what's going to happen.


	5. Chapter 5

Tali: thanks to everyone reviewing this and for the encouraging words! It's interesting to me that other people are actually enjoying this…it's kind of cathartic but at the same time not…thanks for reading!

Edward's POV

_I looked up with surprise as Bella came into the room. She was dressed more feminine than I could remember ever seeing her. Even as a kid, she always wore mine and Emmett's hand-me-downs. She held out her arms and twirled expectantly. _

"_Well?"_

_I couldn't think of any words. She was wearing a red dress that showed off her curves. Shit, I didn't even know she _had _curves yet. She had fucking amazing legs, too, amplified by the heels she was wearing. Her hair was pulled up and there was some light make-up on her face. _

"_Wow." Charlie beamed from his chair beside me. _

_Jasper nodded, his mouth open. "Bella, you're hot."_

_She blushed. "Thanks."_

"_You look really nice, Bella," I put in. _

_She smiled at me. "Thanks, Edward." _

"_I should make some comment for Emmett, but I can't think of what he would say."_

_She laughed and opened her mouth to say something but the doorbell rang. She frowned at that and headed to answer the door. "Why didn't you just come in like normal?" I heard her asking, a tinge of annoyance in her voice. _

"_I figured it's a date so I should act like it."_

_Bella and Jacob Black entered the room then. He was wearing a nice suit and looked incredibly uncomfortable in it. I couldn't remember seeing the kid in much more than dirty cut offs and a t-shirt in years so I could understand that. _

"_Hi guys," he waved at us. He held a plastic box in one hand with a white orchid corsage inside. _

"_Here, I'll help you with that." Charlie jumped up and took the box from Jacob and pulled out the flower. It was a wrist corsage that slid easily over Bella's tiny hand. Charlie grabbed a camera and instructed them to pose in front of the fireplace so he could take a few pictures. Jasper was roped into standing with Bella and then, even I was ordered to pose. _

_I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders and grinned for the camera. Charlie snapped several pictures before I took the camera and got a couple of him with Bella. _

"_Ok, seriously, Dad, we're going to be late," Bella rolled her eyes at Jacob who grinned and held out his arm. _

"_Be home by midnight," Charlie called after them as the door closed behind them. _

_He stared at the door then turned to me. "I'm not sure I'm ok with her going out dressed like that."_

_I laughed. "Charlie, come on. This is Bella we're talking about. She's a good kid. She won't be as stupid as me or Em."_

_Charlie rolled his eyes and we settled back to watch the movie. After a while, Charlie paused it and turned to me. _

"_Don't think I missed how you've been looking at her the last few weeks, Edward."_

_I swallowed. "How have I been looking at her?"_

_Charlie raised an eyebrow. "I don't really have any objections to you dating my daughter, but at least let her graduate first, ok? Let her get into college and turn 18 before you try anything."_

_I stared at him in shock. Charlie was giving me the go ahead on Bella? Not even Emmett was ok with that idea. "Yes sir," I finally mumbled. _

_Charlie nodded and turned back to the TV. _

Bella looked exhausted, but still better than she had at Christmas. That guy she was dating was a real douche. I wondered why she was still with him, but it wasn't really my place to say anything. Even if I did, she'd just roll her eyes and tell me she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

Over Christmas, she'd been so thin, almost gaunt. Stress from school, she'd said, but I had a feeling it was something to do with the loser she was dating. She looked tired and pale, but that wasn't too surprising. I took a long pull on my beer as I studied her.

Her head was tilted back against the back of the couch, her long dark hair in a messy half ponytail thing. Her long legs were stretched out, propped up on the coffee table and her arms were crossed loosely on her lap. She'd filled out since Christmas. She looked fuller, rounder…softer. She sighed and rolled her head to one side and looked at me, a sad smile on her lips.

"Thanks for dinner, Edward," she said tiredly. "I'm not much up to cooking right now and I'm so over leftovers."

"No problem," I replied, taking another pull on the beer. "Want a beer? It could help to loosen you up some."

She smiled, a beautiful smile that lit up her whole face. I felt that familiar tug in my chest that I always felt around Bella. I ground my teeth at it. Now was definitely not going to be a good time to profess my feelings to her. "That actually sounds good, but I think I'd prefer something stronger."

I chuckled. "I've got some tequila and some scotch back at my house, but I'm not giving you any."

She rolled her eyes. "Tease."

I grinned and held out my beer. She took it and took a long pull. "So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

She sighed and handed the beer back to me, turning on the couch so she was stretched out. "I think we're doing something with the ashes tomorrow. That'll be enough for one day."

"What are you going to do?"

She was quiet, taking the beer from me again. "We're giving some to Billy and Carlisle to take to their favorite fishing spot and drop in the water and the rest we're sprinkling around the house."

"That's nice."

She nodded. I couldn't see her face, but I was sure she was crying. I pulled myself off of the love seat and sat on the couch beside her. She lifted herself up and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me and crying into my shirt. I rubbed her back, not sure what else to do. I felt helpless and, frankly, it pissed me off.

After a while, her sobs subsided and she looked up at me. Her face was tear streaked and her nose and lips were red. I carefully wiped a few tears off her face using my thumb and before I could think, I leaned in and kissed her.

To my complete and utter surprise, not to mention pleasure, she kissed me back. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned into me, swinging her legs around and turning her chest more fully to mine. I held her and kissed her for what felt like forever and no time at once. I'd been wanting to kiss her for I didn't even know how long anymore. This felt like it was where we were always supposed to be. She pulled back then and looked at me, her eyes still clouded with tears.

"Edward," she said huskily. "Stay the night with me."

I nodded. Even if I'd wanted to say no, I couldn't deny the sad eyes pleading with me to make everything go away, even if just for a little while.

Bella's POV

I woke up the next morning, exhausted emotionally and physically and just…all over. I could hear stirring in the hallway and knew someone else was up. I sat up and studied Edward, still sleeping.

His bronze sex god hair was all over the place. I reached over and gently finger combed it away from his face. He was so…beautiful. It was really pretty disgusting, actually. No man should be that pretty. There were small lines around the corners of his eyes, laugh lines. We laughed a lot growing up. I felt like I hadn't laughed in years.

I pulled myself out of the bed and grabbed my robe, my thoughts in turmoil as I went over in my head what had happened the night before. I knew Emmett would be demanding answers as soon as we went downstairs and "I just needed to get laid" probably wasn't going to cut it. I looked over my shoulder to make sure Edward was properly covered before peeking out into the hallway. I saw with relief that the bathroom was vacant so I made a beeline for it. With five adults in the house, I'd have to be quick and take my turn whenever I could.

I showered and brushed my teeth quickly, keeping in mind the amount of time Rosalie typically needed in the mornings with a grin. I wrapped my robe around myself and twisted my wet hair up in a clip before exiting. Jasper was coming down the hall, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Morning," he yawned.

I nodded at him. "Hungry?"

"Starved."

I grinned. "I'm going to get dressed then I'll start breakfast."

He nodded and passed me as he headed into the bathroom. We weren't exactly the most vocal or pleasant of people in the mornings, especially not before showers or coffee.

Edward was sitting up in the bed, running his hands through his hair and over his face. He looked up as I came in and smiled.

"How are you?" his words were guarded, uncertain.

I sat down on the bed and studied him. "I'm ok, actually." I reached over and smoothed his hair like I'd done a million times in the past. He grinned and caught my hand, kissing my wrist lightly.

"Good to hear. About last night…"

"No." I interrupted him. "We're not talking about last night. It happened. You were there for me when I needed you and that's great, I appreciate that. But I've got a boyfriend and you're in the middle of a divorce."

He winced. "I never should have married that bitch."

I shrugged. "It's done. I don't care if the others know, but Edward this" I gestured between us "was a one night thing. I have to be a parent for now and I can't deal with the added stress of a relationship."

He looked a little offended that I'd implied a relationship with him would be stressful but I couldn't really find it in me to care. I felt numb to everything at the moment.

"I still care about you and love you like a brother, I still want you around, but this is it."

He nodded and gently let go of my wrist. "Ok. If that's what you want."

I wanted everything to rewind one week and then stay that way. I wanted Dad to walk through the door and start yelling at me for having sex in his house like the time he'd caught me and Jake in high school, I wanted to FEEL something…anything…other than the numb anger that was threatening to take over my life.

The silence stretched out between us like piano wire: thin and strong and cutting. A low rumble of thunder announced the rain that had been falling all night had no intention of stopping. He finally leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I'm here if you need me, B. and not just for sex."

I grinned at that and stood up, scooping his underwear off the floor and throwing it at him. "Get dressed and come help make breakfast."

I dressed quickly and headed downstairs, feeling a little better than I had in days. Sex really could put a spring in a girl's step. I rummaged around in the cabinets until I found the ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes and started mixing up the batter. After today, everything could begin to form into whatever the new form of normal would be.

I winced as I accidentally rested my finger against the hot griddle. Immediately a blister formed. Swearing, I held it under cold water while rummaging through the junk drawer for the burn ointment we always kept. I froze when I pulled out a sheet of paper with Dad's handwriting on it. It was simple enough, a list of names and phone numbers, probably a phone tree or something from one of the years we'd been in school, but something in me snapped.

I stared at the list, my vision tunneling and my breath coming in short sharp gasps. I reached for the nearest thing I could find and flung it. It just so happened to be the bowl of pancake batter.

Emmett's POV

I was crossing the living room when I heard a crash and Bella's broken sobs. I raced the last few steps to the kitchen door and ducked, narrowly missing being beaned with a spatula. Bella was in the kitchen, tears streaming down her face throwing anything she could get her hands on. She'd dumped a drawer on the floor and what looked like chocolate chip pancake batter was dripping down one wall in a sticky mess. She turned to me and our eyes locked.

"It's not fair!" she screamed, throwing a plate on the floor. "I did not agree to this!" Another plate met its end. "I don't like this!" And another.

I advanced carefully across the shards of porcelain and glass and wrapped my arms around her firmly. She sagged against my chest, sobbing. I picked her up carefully and carried her out of the kitchen so she wouldn't hurt her feet and up to her room.

I was surprised to see Edward in there, pulling on his shoes. I glanced at the bed and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened, but I'd deal with that later. I laid Bella in the bed and crawled in with her, crying myself now. She'd beaten me to the punch. I'd been so pissed at the delays from Moscow that I'd wanted to hit something, anything, if only it would make things better.

I felt the bed sag as more weight was added and I saw Jasper on the other side of Bella, wrapping his arms around us. We were all crying now and I didn't care that people were watching us. Big tough marines were allowed to cry when their dads died. Anyone who said otherwise could fuck themselves.

I reached up a hand and stroked Bella's hair, remembering how that used to calm her down when she was little. It seemed to inspire more tears and she hit me with her fists.

"Fix it, Emmett," she sobbed. "Make it better. Make this go away. Make us wake up."

I hugged her tighter to me. "I can't. Fuck, Bella, ask me to do something I can and I will, but I can't change this."

"It'll be fine, Bella," I heard Jasper say finally. "We've got each other. We can get through this."

Gradually her sobs stopped and we all lay in silence except for the rain on the windows and the roof.

***

Tali: That's the thing about grief a lot of times, at least in my experience: You think you're doing fine, you think "Ok, the worst is past" and then something utterly ridiculous comes along and you just lose it. About a month after he died, I found a note my dad wrote stuck into a box of random junk in my house and just sat and cried for like, an hour. It wasn't anything special, but I couldn't stand to throw it away, so now its safely tucked away in a drawer. I haven't broken anything yet, but I get really tempted. My older brother did just hold me and let me cry on him once and he cried with me. Another older brother drank himself stupid resulting in me needing to drive him home. Everyone grieves differently.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella's POV

_I stared down at the small body, gently running my finger over the soft feathers. "Why did it die, Daddy?"_

_"Everything dies eventually, sweetheart. It's part of life." _

"_Everything?" I looked up at him curiously. _

_He nodded and smoothed my hair. "Everything. If all the birds stayed alive forever, you wouldn't be able to see the sky." _

"_Oh." I thought about that for a moment. "Does that mean you and Mommy and Emmett will die, too?"_

"_Yes, but not for a very long time. I'm going to be an old man when I die. You'll be well past needing me."_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek sloppily. "I'll always need my daddy," I said solemnly. _

_He smiled and hugged me back. "And I'll always need my Bella."_

I let the rain beat down on me as I stared unseeingly at the small hole quickly filling with water. The effort Rosalie had spent on making sure I looked nice, doing my make-up and hair, dressing me in a nice dress and heels was all being ruined by the relentless rain and my lack of caring. Why she felt like we should be dressed nicely for this was beyond me but I was trying to just accept her as she was and not ask too many questions or let things get to me too much.

Emmett quietly knelt over the hole, pouring the last to the cremains into the hole. I dropped to my knees next to him and put my hands under the stream, catching the greasy ashes in my hands and letting them sift through my fingers. Jasper's hands joined mine, catching the ashes after they dropped from my fingers. Dad didn't deserve to be just dumped in a hole. Emmett kept pouring the ashes until the bag was empty. We'd already circled the house and a small bag had gone with Carlisle and Billy to the fishing hole earlier, but there was still a lot left.

I didn't try to hide my tears; the rain could do that for me. I splayed my fingers after the last of the ashes had been emptied and let them fall into the hole. I dipped my hands to let the rain water rinse off the last little bit. Jasper followed suit and then stood and stared off at the woods behind the house unseeingly. Emmett sat back on his heels and stared at the hole. I reached over and started to shove the wet dirt back into the hole to fill it up. Emmett leaned forward and pushed with me until the hole was full. Jasper saw what we were doing and squatted down to help us. We carefully tamped down the earth and then made another smaller hole. I pulled the tiny potted rose bush out of its pot and put it into the hole, pushing the dirt around it.

When we were finished, I sat back on my butt. I didn't care if the dress was ruined. I'd never wear it again anyway. Emmett moved over and sat next to me, his forearms resting on his knees as we studied our handiwork. Jasper leaned his head on my shoulder and I in turn leaned my head on Emmett's shoulder, finally gave in to the gut wrenching sobs I'd been holding back for days. Their arms tightened around me and Emmett pulled me against his chest. I felt hot drops falling on my face and I knew he was crying too.

Edward's POV

I wrapped my arms around Bella when they came in out of the rain. She rested against me tiredly and reached out her arm for Jasper. Emmett was holding Rosalie, his face buried in her hair.

"He's really gone," Bella said dully. "He's gone and he's not coming back."

Jasper hiccupped and nodded. I rubbed their backs soothingly.

"What can I do?" I asked softly.

Bella looked up at me, shivering slightly. "Stay the night?"

"Of course. You want me to go get some food?"

"No, we can order pizza," Emmett said tiredly. "No need for anyone else to go out in the rain." He stepped away from Rosalie. "Come on, Jazz, B, let's go change into dry clothes."

They pulled away from me and followed Emmett upstairs. Jasper reached out and grabbed Bella's hand as they left the living room.

"So what's up with you and Bella?" asked Rosalie softly as we headed into the kitchen to order the food.

I sighed. "I have no clue. She told me this morning it was just one time since she's still with that Mike guy and I'm in the middle of a divorce."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Sounds like she's confused. Where is Mike anyway?"

I shrugged. "Who knows. Still in Seattle I guess."

"How long until your divorce is final?"

"Any day now," I grabbed the pizza coupons Charlie kept stashed in the kitchen drawer. "I can't wait. I'd almost like to have a party to celebrate."

She chuckled. "Well, for what it's worth, you're going to be much better off without her. I mean seriously? Tanya?"

I laughed. "Shut up. She was hot and like, the first girl I ever slept with. I should have known better than to marry my high school sweetheart."

She snickered as she punched in the phone number for the pizza place. "Yeah, turns out life isn't fairy tales and happy endings."

"It can be if you go to the right massage parlor."

We looked up and Rosalie punched Emmett in the arm. "Not that you'd know from experience, right?"

He grinned. "Of course not. I just hear things from the other guys."

I chuckled softly and looked up as Bella came into the kitchen then, wearing sweats and her hair pulled back in a damp ponytail. Her face was puffy and she looked completely wiped out. I was still nervous about what happened that morning. It had taken Rosalie and me over an hour to clean up the mess while they all lay upstairs comforting each other. I swept up the broken glass and porcelain while she scrubbed the wall. It was strange to see Rosalie cleaning, but I knew she loved this family as much as I did.

Bella crossed to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I just called Mike," she said suddenly. "I broke up with him."

I looked at her with surprise. "Seriously? Why?"

She shrugged. "I can't keep sleeping with you while technically being with him and still look at myself in the mirror."

I pulled her against me. "I'm proud of you. Even if not for me, he's a jerk."

She chuckled softly. "NOW you tell me."

"So you intend to keep sleeping with him?" Emmett asked casually.

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, I think so. Got a problem with that?"

He studied me for a long moment. "You know, I'm a marine. I can kill you about 25 different ways and no one would know it was me."

I grinned. "Duly noted."

He nodded and pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge, holding them out to us.

Jasper came into the room then, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He looked at us shyly. "My girlfriend called and invited me over. Is it ok if I go?"

Bella frowned. "Are you sure, sweetie?"

He nodded. "I miss her. I haven't seen her in a while. She's been wanting to come over but she wasn't sure…" his voice trailed off and he swallowed hard.

"Sure, you should see her." Bella smiled encouragingly. "You could invite her to come for dinner."

He shook his head. "No, she's cooking for me. She's a pretty good cook, actually."

Bella grinned for real then. "Well then get over there kid. If a girl's willing to cook for you, it means she really likes you."

He gave her a lopsided grin and pulled her into a hug. He looked up at Emmett. "I need a ride," he said sheepishly. "Her dad can bring me back, but…"

"No problem," said Emmett, a grin on his face.

Jasper grinned back and headed upstairs to grab his jacket.

"So…how long has Jazz had a girlfriend?" whispered Emmett.

Bella shrugged. "I was going to ask you the same thing." They both turned to me expectantly.

I shrugged. "I think a couple months. Her name is Alice Brandon and she's pretty sweet. You'll like her, I swear."

Jasper came in then, a huge grin on his face. "She's waiting for me. Can we go?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and followed Jasper out the door. A moment later we heard the catch of an engine. Rosalie leaned on the door frame into the kitchen.

"So, a couple months, huh? You think they're having sex?"

"Rosalie!" Bella shrieked. "Ew! That's my baby brother!"

I laughed. "Oh, come on. You were having sex at his age."

She turned on me, her mouth open. "Thanks a lot, Judas."

Rosalie snickered into her hands. "You are such a hypocrite Bella. If he's safe and smart about it, don't give him too much grief."

Bella scowled. "I think 15 is too young to have sex, and because I had sex at that age, I know." She turned on me. "You were 17 and you told me once you thought that was too young."

I sighed. "Ok, you've got me. We'll just pretend there's no sex going on anywhere." I winked at her.

She gave me a look. "Well, we can just _have_ no sex going on anywhere."

"Um, sorry, but I'm totally having sex with my husband. I don't get to see him much."

Bella stalked past her into the kitchen. "I don't want to think about either of my brothers having sex, thank you _very_ much. Enough with the sex talk! We are not cast member of _Sex and the City_."

Rosalie and I grinned and followed her into the kitchen. We may not be blood related, but we knew exactly how to push Bella's buttons. And we both loved seeing her anything but numb or broken. I would take irritated and disgusted any day.

***

Tali: Its interesting what cremains feel like. Its not what you expect and there are more and at the same time less than you believe. Its a box roughly the size of a shoe box with a plastic bag inside with all that's left of your loved one. We sprinkled my dad's ashes all around our house and in special areas: his parking space, the area where he and I danced on my wedding day, around his massive barbeque grill (seriously, its big enough to feed the army: we got it from the army), the area where the whole family took pictures and sang Ring of Fire on my wedding day before burying what was left in a strategic point where he could watch over my mom in her sitting room, see us coming and going from the front, and see the major points of the house. We used rainwater to wash our hands, though it wasn't raining that day. It was a perfect summer evening, actually, one he would have enjoyed.

Sorry this chapter is weird. I've got a couple more depressing ones then I'll get goofy. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and for the story alerts and favorites. It makes me smile like crazy!


	7. Chapter 7

Bella's POV

"_So what do you want for Christmas this year, Dad?" I asked as I used my hip to close the refrigerator door. _

_Dad laughed on the other end. "I just want everyone home for the holidays."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Emmett won't be there, he's in Russia."_

"_Well, then you and Jasper just be here and I'll be happy."_

_I made a face. "Great, thanks. You know, Charles Swan, you are not the easiest person to shop for."_

_He laughed again. "I like anything you kids give me."_

"_You don't hardly use any of it though. How many unopened computer games do you have?"_

"_A few."_

"_More than a few. And puzzles?"_

_He was laughing in earnest now. "Oh, come on. I don't want to lose any pieces." _

"_You hush old man. Do you need anything? I could get you some underwear again."_

"_Whatever you want to give me is fine, Bella. I just want you here is all."_

_I sighed. "Yeah, yeah." I checked my watch. "Look, I've got to run. I'll see you next week when I'm home for the holidays ok?"_

"_Ok. Love you."_

_I grinned. "Love you, too."_

It was nice having a clean house, but there was one room that we hadn't touched and I knew we needed to. I plopped down on the couch next to Emmett and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Hey little sister."

I grinned at his familiar greeting. "Hey. You up for working in Dad's room?"

He sighed. "No, but I'll do it anyway. When do you want to work on that?"

"Now, if possible. Do it fast, like a Band-Aid."

He laughed softly. "Alright, let's get going. Where's Jazz?"

I rolled my eyes. "Still at Alice's house. Can you go get him? He should be here while we do this."

Half an hour later we three stood in the tiny hall upstairs and stared at the door to Dad's room. We never went in there, not since getting over being scared of storms. Jasper reached over and took my hand as I reached and took Emmett's. Emmett took a deep breath and forged ahead. Ever the marine, first on the scene.

Emmett and Rosalie had taken over Jasper's room while he camped out on the couch in the living room. As a result, the room hadn't been touched in days. There was a small pile of clothes in the laundry basket in the closet, his dresser was scattered with the random flotsam of a single father: pictures we'd drawn him as kids, a couple of baby teeth, a coupon booklet I'd made him for Father's Day when I was 6, some bottles of cologne we'd spent all our money on that he never wore. There were pictures of us growing up all over the walls and a pile of books on his nightstand. I sat on the bed slowly, overwhelmed.

"Where do we start?" asked Jasper hoarsely.

"Dresser?" asked Emmett doubtfully.

I nodded. "Clear off the tops of stuff. We'll make piles: Trash, keep, give away."

The boys nodded and we set to work quietly. It didn't take very long before the tops of the dresser and the nightstands were cleared, but the desk was another story. We couldn't even see the top to begin with. I headed downstairs to get a trash bag from the kitchen while Jasper got a couple of boxes from the attic. Dad saved EVERYTHING.

Going through his desk, we found practically every birthday card he'd gotten from us since we were old enough to give them. We each took the ones we'd made or sent, starting our own little piles of mementos.

Emmett stopped at one point and held up a wad of wrapping paper with a frown. "What the fuck is this?"

I shrugged and took it from him, unfolding it until I had it open to almost the original size of the paper. My eyes clouded with tears as I turned it around. The white side was covered with drawings that Jasper had done when he was 11. Emmett grabbed Jasper in a hug while I carefully folded it back up and put it in Jasper's pile.

We worked for an hour before we were just too emotionally exhausted. We gathered up our piles and stashed them away. Emmett left his box in Dad's room for the time being while Jasper and I put ours in our rooms. I headed to the kitchen to start dinner while the boys took the trash out and then settled down to watch TV. I could hear the faint sounds of a game and it was almost like Dad was back. I gripped the edge of the sink and closed my eyes against the tears.

"Bella?"

I turned and saw Rosalie standing uncertainly in the doorway. I reached for her and she crossed the room quickly and pulled me into a hug.

"This is total bullshit," I said huskily. "There is no valid reason for this to happen to us."

She sighed. "I know, sweetie. "I'm so sorry."

I sighed and wiped my eyes. "I'm fine, I promise." She gave me a look and I rolled my eyes. "Ok, I _will_ be fine."

She smiled. "Can I help with anything?"

I was quiet as I heated up the pan of lasagna someone had brought. "Can you help me go through Dad's clothes later?"

"Sure, honey." She gave me another hug and then moved to set the table. A little while later the four of us sat down to eat.

After dinner, Rosalie and I headed back upstairs while Emmett ran Jasper over to Roger's house. I opened the closet door and stepped back, overwhelmed with Dad's scent. He never threw anything away and that included clothes. There were boxes of shoes he hadn't worn in years that went straight into the trash, tangles of belts with broken buckles, even a box of old underwear with holes in it. We were laughing over that when Edward poked his head in.

"What's so funny?" he asked, a bemused smile on his face.

I held up a pair of silk boxers with Snoopy all over them and a giant hole in the seat. "Dad got these from me for Christmas about 8 years ago."

Edward stared at them for a moment. "I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or crying here."

I laughed. "I prefer humor in these situations. If I keep crying I'll dry up and blow away like so much dust."

He grinned and came in. "Can I help?"

"Sure." I directed him to a huge mass of ties. "Start spreading those across the bed. We're going to split those up between all the guys in Dad's life: you and the boys, Carlisle, Billy, Jake, some of the guys at work. Obviously you'll all get first pick and since Jake isn't here, we'll pick something for him, but spread them out so we can see what we've got."

Edward nodded and set to work on his task. Rosalie frowned as she backed out of the closet with a huge cardboard box.

"What the hell is this?"

I shrugged and opened it with her. It was full of t-shirts, some of them obviously 30 years old. My mouth dropped as we pawed through them, seeing t-shirts from our schools, some of the marathons he'd run in his youth, a couple of law conferences he'd gone to, t-shirts from the few family vacations we'd managed to take. There were even some of our favorite t-shirts that we ourselves had worn.

"I thought I lost this!" I exclaimed, lifting up a black van Halen t-shirt that I'd loved in middle school. I immediately stripped off the shirt I was wearing and pulled it on.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "A little warning would be nice," she grumbled good naturedly.

I made a face at her. "Oh please, you've both seen it all already." I grinned and smoothed the shirt over my stomach. "Damn, I loved this shirt! I'm a little pissed he had it."

Edward laughed from his job on the bed. "He probably had a valid reason for stealing it from you."

I shrugged and forged back into the closet. Emmett rejoined us a little while later with more beers. We worked late into the night, going through the closet and the dresser, pulling out clothes that the guys would wear, putting some things aside for Jasper when he got home in the morning. We went through the little bit of jewelry that Dad had, mainly a couple pairs of cuff links and a few tie pins. I paused when I pulled a black velvet box out of his underwear drawer.

"Emmett, what's this?" I asked as I made my way over to his location at the desk.

He shrugged. "No clue. Open it and see."

I opened the box and gasped. "It's their rings."

Emmett's eyebrows raised and he leaned forward. Inside the box were Dad and Renee's wedding rings and Renee's engagement ring. I remembered that they'd been Swan family heirlooms but I never knew what happened to them.

"Jasper should have the diamond," said Emmett quietly. "I already gave one to Rose." She squeezed his shoulder gently.

I pulled the diamond ring out and studied it. It was beautiful in its simplicity: a simple gold band with a round flawless diamond on it. I passed it to Emmett to see while I pulled the bands out.

The woman's band was engraved from our great-grandmother's use with the words _Only Death Will Part Us Now_ and the man's band had the date of her wedding, July 14, 1909.

"Wow," breathed Edward when I pointed it out to him. "It's almost 100 years old."

I nodded and carefully put the rings back into the box.

"You should have the band, B," said Emmett. "You're the next to get married."

I rolled my eyes. "Please. My only viable option right now is Duardo here and he's still married."

Edward pushed me lightly. "I hate that nickname."

I grinned at him. "Hence the use of it."

"I think you two would be great together," shrugged Rosalie as she started to tie up the full trash bags.

"Oh come on," I protested. "I'd kill him the first week."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "How's that, Chicken Little?"

I made a face at him. "We'd drive each other insane. I would want to like, drink and party and you'd want to stay home and watch a game with a beer."

Everyone was staring at me now.

"Since when do you drink and party?" demanded Emmett.

I sighed. "I don't, I'm just saying. I'm 20, he's 25 and MARRIED people!"

Rosalie grinned. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"Methinks the asses better butt the hell out," I grumbled.

Everyone laughed at me as I grabbed two garbage bags and headed out. We hauled the trash out to the cans and then dragged the cans to the curb for pick up in the morning. Edward flashed me a grin as I walked past him. I made a rude gesture and headed back upstairs to Dad's room.

It was only one room, but it took us most of the night to finish it. We finally dropped into our respective beds about the time the sun was thinking about peeking over the far horizon.

Edward's POV

I followed Bella into her room, yawning and waving a good night to Em and Rose as they ducked into Jasper's room. I sat on the desk chair and pulled off my shoes while Bella stripped down to her van Halen t-shirt and panties and slid between the sheets with an exhausted sigh.

"So you think we'd kill each other huh," I grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh get over it, will you? You don't want to marry me."

"Why not?"

She propped herself up on her elbows and stared at me. "Holy shit. Do you want to marry me?"

I sat back a little confused. "Um…I didn't say that."

"Then why does my reaction bother you?"

"Because I think we'd be ok as a couple."

She looked at me skeptically. "I think the sex is going to your head. Sexual compatibility doesn't always mean relationship compatibility."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "What about the fact that we're great friends? That we know everything about each other and still want to hang out?"

She sat up now and stared at me. "Oh my god…do you love me? Like…_love_ me?"

I sat back. "Maybe."

Her eyes widened. "Shit. Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well…yeah. I didn't plan on telling you this way, but I do love you. _Love_ you love you."

She stared at me for a beat. "Fuck."

I sighed. "Its fine, I know you don't feel the same way." I stood up and flipped the light off and shoved her over as I crawled into the bed next to her.

She was silent for a bit. "I love you, too, Edwrad."

"I know."

"No. I _love_ you Edward."

I flipped on the desk lamp and rolled over to look at her. "Seriously?"

She sighed and reached up, pushing my hair back out of my face. "Yeah. I've had a crush on you since I was like, 10. You admitting it now kind of…I don't know, made me think about it."

I snorted. "I said it like two minutes ago, B."

She shrugged and snuggled against me. "So? What, you're allowed to realize your emotions and tell me but I'm not allowed to do the same?"

I laughed. "I guess not." I studied what I could see of her face. "So love, huh."

She nodded and looked up at me. "Love is knowing someone, really knowing them, and still wanting to be with them." She smiled at me. "I know you, Edward Cullen. And I love what I know." She shifted and kissed me lightly. "Now shut up with all this love talk and let's get some sleep."

She leaned over me, brushing my face with her breasts as she turned out the light. I grinned and squeezed her against me as she nestled back against me.

***

Tali: So, interestingly enough, the only way I could get through writing part of this without crying was by watching Glee. Love that show. Dad had so many puzzles and computer games he'd never played it was ridiculous. One was a Klingon Warrior game we bought him for Christmas around 1995. Still in the plastic. The wrapping paper drawings were real, though I was the one who drew them, not my brother. And the engraving 'Only Death Will Part Us Now' was in the pocket watch my mom gave my dad as a wedding gift. The watch has since been passed to the wife of my oldest brother.

I know the whole professions of love thing is a little forced but I'm not up for a long drawn out will they/won't they thing with this story. So, bear with me when things feel a little rushed. I'll attempt a few lemons and some smut later…but currently, I'm wiped from 20 hours in three days at my PART time job. Ugh…yes, I know…poor poor Tali.

As always, thanks for the reviews and favorites and story alerts! They make me grin.


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's POV

"_You walk too slow," I complained. _

"_Maybe you walk too fast," panted Jasper as he struggled to keep up with me. "Your legs are longer."_

"_That's cause I'm taller," I said smugly. _

"_Will I ever get to be taller?" he asked curiously._

"_Probably. Emmett's tall and Dad's tall." I'd only recently shed the babyish "Daddy" and felt extremely grown up. _

"_So someday I'll be taller than you?" he looked amazed. _

_I frowned. "Maybe, but I'll always be the boss of you cause I'm older." _

"_Oh. That's ok I guess."_

"_Hey Jester, nice singing," taunted a voice. We turned and saw Dale Gardner standing at the corner across the street. _

_Jasper's face darkened. "I wasn't singing before. I was making the music from _1812._" _

"_With your mouth, stupid. That's called singing."_

_I scowled. "No one calls my brother stupid." I dropped my backpack on the ground and started towards Dale. _

"_Bella, don't. Dad'll get mad," Jasper called after me panicked. _

_Dale narrowed his eyes at me. "You can't hurt me, you're a girl."_

_Now I was really angry. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't fight like a boy," I retorted. _

"_Why do you even care?" demanded Dale, backing up imperceptibly. "You called him dummy yesterday, I heard you."_

"_I can say that. I'm his sister. You can't." I pulled myself up to my full height, not phased one bit that I barely reached his chin. "You take it back about him being stupid." _

_He glared at me. "No."_

_I pulled my arm back and punched him in the nutsack, just like Emmett taught me to. He hit the ground, both hands grabbing his crotch._

"_You take it back," I shouted at his doubled over form. _

"_No," he grunted back at me weakly. _

_I lifted my fist again and he held up one hand in surrender. "I take it back," he wheezed._

_I leaned over. "You leave my brother alone or I'll punch you again."_

_I turned around and crossed the street again, picking up my backpack and taking Jasper's hand as we started back towards our house. Jasper looked over his shoulder at Dale then up at me, his eyes wide. _

"_You crossed the street without a grown up, Bella."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell Dad. He'll get mad at me."_

_He nodded. _

"_Don't tell Dad what?" _

_We looked up at Emmett who was suddenly walking beside us. I flushed guiltily. "I crossed the street without a grown up."_

"_Why?" he looked puzzled._

"_Dale Gardner called Jasper stupid."_

_Emmett's face darkened. "Where is he?"_

"_Bella punched him in the nutsack so he's on the ground back there," Jasper pointed behind us. _

_Emmett stared at me for a moment then threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Oh, we're keeping this whole thing from Dad. He'd be pissed. Bella, you're not supposed to hit boys."_

_I shrugged. "He said I couldn't hurt him because I'm a girl. I had to prove that wrong."_

_Emmett grinned and picked up Jasper, swinging him up to sit on his shoulders as we walked the last block to our house. "Well, all the same, you shouldn't hit people. Violence is not the answer." We walked in silence, pausing in the yard as Emmett set Jasper down. _

"_That said, you kick ass, little sister."_

_I grinned up at him as we headed inside. _

"Jasper, get up already!" I shouted, stomping up the stairs. Emmett and Rosalie had been gone and I had been in the role of single parent for nearly three weeks now. It seemed to be going ok except for getting Jasper up in the morning for his make up classes at school.

I frowned when I saw the door was closed. "Jasper, get your ass out of bed now!" I barged in and stopped, shocked and horrified at what I saw.

Jasper was definitely in the middle of sex with a tiny girl with spiky black hair. I stared at them, my mouth open wide and they stared back at me, equally horrified.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted backing out quickly and pulling the door shut behind me. "Jasper! Get your ass out here NOW!"

I could hear noises on the other side of the door and then quiet crying. A moment later it opened and Jasper stood in front of me, wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. I glowered up at him.

"Downstairs, NOW."

He went meekly and I looked into the room at the tiny dark haired girl quickly pulling on a t-shirt. I realized she was a few inches shorter than I was and really pretty. _Not bad, Jazz_ I thought , swallowing a smile.

"You must be Alice."

She spun around and looked at me guiltily. "Yeah. Hi."

"Care to join us downstairs?"

She sighed and nodded. I stepped out of the way while she headed downstairs and glanced back into the room. The window was open, she'd probably come in the way Jake always had: climbing up the strategically placed trees by the house. I sighed and shook my head, smiling to myself as I headed downstairs. I quickly wiped it off my face when I entered the living room.

Jasper and Alice were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, not looking at each other. I stood for a moment before crossing and settling myself in Dad's chair.

"So. Sex."

Jasper flinched. I grinned. This was so much like déjà vu it wasn't funny. I just needed a beer and I'd totally be Dad. I wracked my brain, trying to remember what he'd said to me and Jake.

"Did you at least use protection?" I asked after a long silence.

Jasper's head jerked up and he looked at me with surprise. I raised my eyebrows at him, a smile playing on my face. He stared at me for a long moment. His face flushed and he looked down at his hands, nodding.

I nodded and pushed myself up out of the chair. "Alright then. Cause we are in no way equipped to be dealing with a teenage pregnancy here."

Alice glanced back and forth between me and Jasper confused. "That's it?"

I shrugged. "Pretty much. I can't throw too many stones. Dad caught me and my high school boyfriend in a similar situation when we were 16. Plus he knows Edward's been staying over at night."

Her jaw dropped and she looked at Jasper. "Coolest. Family. Ever. My mom would have locked me up and my dad would have killed you."

Jasper winced. "We don't have to tell them, right Bella?"

I sighed. "If I say no, will you two at least be more discreet and way more careful? And never tell anyone that I'm ok with it?"

They both nodded frantically.

I nodded back. "Ok then. Let's get Jazz to school before he misses all his make up sessions."

Jasper's POV

I held Alice's hand in the back seat while Bella drove home that afternoon. Alice had come to the school after I'd gotten out to come home with me. Now that everything was more out in the open, she wanted to get to know Bella more.

As we were heading inside, we could hear the phone ringing. Bella swore and practically fell through the door in her haste to get it. I rolled my eyes and pulled Alice into the living room. She sat on my lap on the couch and started kissing me. It helped me to not think about Dad so much when her tongue was in my mouth.

A few minutes later, Bella stormed into the living room looking pissed. Alice shimmied off my lap and looked up at Bella, who threw herself into Dad's chair.

I raised my eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "That was Renee."

"Oh. What'd she say?" I didn't have much of an attachment to Renee. She'd been gone for most of my life and Bella and Esme were who I considered my moms.

Bella rubbed her face with both hands. "She's not coming, Jazz."

I felt a chill go down my spine. "Ever?"

"Well, not soon. She said six months at the earliest."

I stared at her. "So what does that mean?"

"It means you're stuck with me, kid." She gave me a small grin. "I'll have to take a leave of absence from school and get a job here, but I'm here until Renee comes."

"And what happens when she comes?" asked Alice curiously.

I was wondering the same thing myself but hadn't been brave enough to say it. Bella already seemed pissed about having to stay around with me.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I kind of doubt she'll stay home to take care of you, but maybe she'll stick around a year or so until I can finish school and take over the last year you need an adult."

I scowled at the floor. I hated that I was such a pain to everyone.

"Jazz." I looked up. Bella was sitting on the couch next to me studying me. "I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with her. She can't take some time off to be with her children who need her."

I snorted. "We don't need her, Bella. She hasn't been around for how long? We'll be fine without her."

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. "You're right kiddo. We'll be fine."

The phone rang again and she stood up, rolling her eyes and heading into the kitchen. A moment later she reappeared with the handset.

"Ok, Rose, you're on speakerphone." She grinned at me and set the phone on the coffee table.

"Jazz?"

"I'm here, Rose. So's my girlfriend Alice."

"Um, hi." Alice looked a little embarrassed.

"I've got some exciting news," Rose's voice sounded slightly tinny.

"Well, spill," laughed Bella, dropping into Dad's chair. "We need something happy."

"I'm pregnant!"

Bella's mouth dropped and she looked at me. "How can you tell already?"

Rose laughed. "I'm two weeks late and I took a test."

"Well, congratulations!" Bella was beaming. "I'm going to be an auntie!"

I grinned. "I'm going to be an uncle."

Alice squeezed my arm excitedly. All girl loved babies and she was no exception.

"How's Emmett taking the news?" asked Bella, leaning forward.

Rose laughed. "He's mad as hell that he's not here, but we're thinking I'll be due in about February and he's due home in November so we're hoping his tour won't get extended or anything."

"But otherwise he's happy, right?"

"Ecstatic."

I grinned. "So now what?"

"Well, that's something I want to talk to you about. Emmett wondered if you would be up for me moving in with you two. He'd feel better if I was around family and mine live in Connecticut."

Bella and I exchanged a look. She shrugged. "I don't see why not. I mean, you'd be in Dad's room."

Rose was quiet. "I'm ok with that, but are you two?"

"You're our sister. If you need a place to stay, then you've got one." I grinned at the phone. "Besides, gives me an excuse to go hang out with my friends more."

Bella reached over and smacked me on the back of the head. I laughed.

"So what about your job, Rose?"

"I can practice law in Forks."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, I suppose. So when should we expect you?"

"I've got a few things to take care of here. I'm thinking mid-July? About a month?"

Bella smiled. "Sounds good. We'll get the place all ready for you."

"Hey, I've got to run, my girlfriends are taking me out for a celebratory dinner. I'll talk to you later. Love you!"

"Love you, too," we chorused. Bella turned the phone off and sat back.

"Well, how about that. Emmett's going to be a dad." She shook her head and grinned. "Should make for an interesting few months." She stretched and stood up. "Guess I should start dinner. Alice, are you staying?"

Alice nodded and Bella smiled. "Alright then. Four it is."

Edward's POV

I stopped by my house on my way home from the hospital and grabbed a few clean clothes. I was working up the courage to just flat out ask Bella if I could move in but I wasn't there yet. She was still a little stressed out waiting to hear from Renee and figure out what she was going to do next year. I grabbed the mail and sorted through it while I listened to my messages. Luckily, they were all telemarketers and deletable.

My face broke into a huge grin when I saw the finalized divorce papers. I let out a whoop, then grinned at my reflection in the black windows of the kitchen. I was a free man.

I tossed my bag in the back seat of the car and set off for the Swan's house while I punched in my parents' number.

"Cullen riesidence," Mom answered pleasantly.

"Hey Mom, guess what."

"What."

"I'm single again!"

She laughed. "Well, congratulations. Are you going to celebrate somehow?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I'm on my way over to the Swan's for dinner. Maybe I can convince them to go to dinner with me or something."

"Well, let us know. We'll celebrate with you."

I grinned. As supportive as my parents always were, I knew they'd prayed Tanya and I wouldn't get married. They'd been civil to her, but she was a difficult woman and I knew they were glad to be rid of her. "Will do. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I pulled up to the Swan's and ran up the steps, letting myself in. Jasper was sitting on the couch with Alice in his lap. They were talking quietly and looked up when I came in. I raised my eyebrows. There was something definitely…intimate…about the way they were sitting and looking at each other.

"Does B know?" I asked simply.

Jazz flushed. "Yeah."

I nodded. "Protection?"

Alice turned red and buried her face in Jazz's neck. "Yes," he muttered.

I grinned and headed into the kitchen. Bella was flushed from a giant pot of something steaming on the stove. She looked up and grinned at me.

"Hey, how was work?"

"Good. Saved a few lives all the while being a total bad ass."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Want to stay for dinner?"

"Love to." I grinned at her and pulled her away from the stove. "I've got some news."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, me too. You first."

I grinned stupidly. "I'm single again."

She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. "Really?"

"Got the finalized papers today. Tanya Cullen is no more."

"Congratulations, Edward," she beamed up at me. "We should celebrate."

"I was thinking the same thing." I pulled her into a kiss, pressing her body against mine. She kissed me back for a moment, then pulled away, a grin on her face.

"Not like that. We have to set an example or some shit like that."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why?"

She laughed and looked past me into the living room. she pulled me farther into the kitchen and lowered her voice. "I walked in on them this morning."

I stared at her blankly for a beat before it hit me. "Shit." I grinned. "Déjà vu, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "No lie. Anyway, they're using protection and they're apologetic about it, but we should still be better behaved around them."

I frowned. "So I don't get to stay over anymore?"

She chewed on her lower lip. "Well, I'm not saying that."

"What if I move in?" I blurted out.

She stared at me in surprise. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

The lip thing again. "Well…ok."

I blinked. I hadn't expected her to acquiesce so quickly. "Really?"

She shrugged. "You're here most of your free time anyway, right?"

"True."

She grinned. "It'll be fun. Your mom might shit a brick, but hey, we need a protector around here. Rose is moving in."

"Why?" I asked confused, pulling plates out of the cabinet.

Bella was practically dancing in place. "She's pregnant."

My jaw dropped. "Shut the front door."

She laughed. "She is. Emmett wants her to move in with us so that she's not alone so she's coming up in about a month."

"Wow." I shook my head as I set the table. "So this house is going to be bursting at the seams again."

Bella grinned. "It'll be great. You'll see. You always wanted to have siblings, remember?"

I grinned. "Yeah, when I was a kid."

"We'll act like kids."

I rolled my eyes. "So have you heard from Renee?"

She grimaced and quickly filled me in on the conversation she'd had earlier that afternoon. I felt annoyance rise in my gut but I pushed it back down. It wasn't fair of Renee to push this on Bella. Bella only had one year at school left and she was going to have to wait. I knew she didn't mind taking care of Jasper, but with Rosalie coming here to live it was more like Bella was becoming the matriarch of the family, taking care of everyone. I was more determined to move in then.

"So how about I move my stuff this weekend?" I asked casually.

Bella grinned. "Sounds great. I was hoping some weekend you'd go with me to Seattle to pack up my apartment. I've got to hit campus to take care of some things, but you can help Rosalie pack up whatever she's bringing while I'm doing that. I'm sure she's got shit-tons that she's bringing with her. She doesn't seem to realize the ittiness of this house."

I grinned. "Any time, babe." I grabbed her and kissed her again. She melted against me, sliding her arms around my neck and sighing against my mouth.

"Sick, get a room," teased Jasper, coming in behind us.

Bella pulled away, a grin on her face. She stuck her tongue out at Jasper. "Are you ok if Edward moves in here, too?"

He looked a little surprised. "Yeah, why not? The more the merrier, right?"

I grinned. I loved this kid. I pulled Alice into a one armed hug instinctively. She looked surprised but pleased. "Welcome to the wacky world of the Swans," I grinned down at her.

She grinned back up at me. "I'm excited to join in and contribute my own insanities."

My phone buzzed and I released her with a laugh. The others settled down to eat while I moved into the living room to take the call.

"Hey Dad," I grinned as I answered.

"Hey yourself. I heard the news, congratulations."

I grinned. "Thanks. I've got other news now, too. Emmett and Rosalie are pregnant so she's moving up here until he comes home and I'm moving in with the gang, too."

There was a shocked silence. "You're moving in with the Swans?"

"Yeah. Oh, Bella and I are kind of…together." We hadn't been on dates, but there'd been lots of fun naked times. And meals. Sometimes together. I grinned remembering.

"Since when?" demanded Mom. She'd picked up the extension.

"The night of the service." I felt a little guilty I hadn't told them before now.

There was a long silence. "Do you know what you're doing son?"

I rolled my eyes. "I've got a vague idea, yeah."

"Well, don't be stupid. Be safe." I knew what he meant by that.

"Yeah yeah."

"So no dinner tonight then?" Mom asked, changing the topic.

"Oh, sorry, no. Bella made dinner. I figure once Rosalie's here, we'll all go celebrate together. That ok with you?"

"Sounds great. Send our congratulations to everyone."

"Will do."

***

Tali: So, we would carpool to school with the family that lived down the street, about two or three blocks away, and my younger brother and I would walk down there every morning to meet up with them. I would shout "Ketchup" for him to catch up, "Mustard" for him to slow down, and "Miracle Whip" for him to get closer to me when he wandered out too far into the street. "Relish" was something, too, but I can't remember what. Like I've said, we were weird in my family. When we moved to another house where we would walk to the library, the words came back. He came to visit this summer and we were doing a walking tour of downtown Dallas and I randomly shouted "Ketchup" and he just gave me the finger. Apparently, I do _not_ get to always be the boss of him because I'm older. He did grin and walk over to me, though.


	9. Chapter 9

Jake's POV

_"Painting fingernails is hard," Bella grumbled. _

_I looked up at her curiously. "Then why do it?"_

_She shrugged. "It's a girl thing I guess. I'm not too girly, though. My nail polish is black."_

_I studied it for a moment. She was doing a terribly job. "Does your dad know you're painting your nails black?"_

_She scoffed. "No. he'd have a cow."_

"_How are you going to hide it?"_

_She frowned. Obviously she hadn't thought of that. "Well, I'll just tell him I don't have any remover."_

_I rolled my eyes. Charlie would just go buy her some. I scooted over so I was sitting across from her and took the nail polish from her. She frowned at me but I raised my eyebrows at her and held out my hand for hers. She gingerly placed her hand in mine. I put it on my knee and started to paint her nails carefully. _

"_You have tiny fingers," I said finally. _

"_I know. Esme calls them doll hands."_

_I grinned. "Weird."_

"_No kidding." _

_I finished the first hand and she obediently put the other on my knee. "How'd you get so good at this?" she asked curiously._

_I shrugged. "It's not hard when it's on someone else."_

"_Yeah, but you're a boy."_

_I felt my face warm. "My sisters used to make me play beauty parlor with them, remember?"_

_She laughed, her hand shaking lightly on my knee. "Oh yeah! You always had to do the manicures and pedicures, huh."_

_I gave her a look. "Something we're never discussing, remember?"_

_She grinned at me, an evil glint in her eye. "So, I can hold that over your head and you can always paint my nails." She removed her finished hand and put a small foot on my leg looking at me expectantly. _

_I rolled my eyes and started painting carefully. Bella had tiny feet, too. Pretty feet, I realized. I'd never thought of feet as pretty, but she had some pretty feet. I shifted slightly in my seat. Puberty really sucked. _

"_Did you hear Emmett's joining the Marines?" she asked, leaning back against her bed, her arms draped over her raised knees. _

_I looked up at her with surprise, the brush suspended in air. "Really?"_

_She nodded. "He doesn't really want to play college ball and Dad can't afford college without a scholarship so he's going into the military. They'll pay for his school if he's there for like, 5 years or something."_

"_Wow." I went back to painting. "That's kind of cool."_

_She nodded and leaned forward, watching what I was doing. I finished the first food and moved to the next one. She stayed in her spot, her breath warm on my cheek. I shifted again. Dammit, this was uncomfortable and kind of annoying. _

_I finished her other foot and carefully recapped the polish, putting it somewhere she wouldn't knock it over before I leaned down and lightly blew on her toes. Her breath hitched slightly and I grinned. It was good to know I could have an effect on her like she did on me. I looked up at her and our faces were really close. I could smell the strawberry bubble gum she'd been chewing earlier and I could see the light freckles sprinkled across her nose and cheeks. They'd been darker when we were younger. _

_She leaned forward slightly, her lips parting a little. I swallowed hard and leaned the rest of the way, meeting her lips with mine. We sat still for a moment before pulling back and looking at each other. Bella grinned at me. _

"_Wanna go get a milkshake?"_

_I grinned. "Sure." I leaned forward to kiss her again when the door banged open. _

_I threw myself back against the wall under the window where I'd been sitting and grabbed my magazine to hide my face. _

"_Bella, I thought I told you the door was to remain open at all times." Charlie was angry. I'd never seen him like this. _

_Bella sighed. "Dad, we were just talking. I painted my nails while Jake read his magazine, that's all."_

_I chanced a glace over the top of my magazine, hoping he didn't notice the heat in my face. Sometimes being Native American paid off. Charlie scrutinized the scene and seemed placated that nothing terrible had happened. I randomly wondered what would have happened if he'd walked in on us kissing. It wasn't like we weren't old enough: we were both 13 after all. Emmett and Edward had been kissing girls since they were like, 11. We were behind if you compared us to them. _

_Charlie crossed his arms over his chest. "No boys allowed in your room with the door shut, Bella. I mean it."_

_She pushed herself up and gave him a look. "Fine. Besides, Dad, it's just Jake." _

_He seemed to relax a little, but now I was annoyed. "Just Jake?" What the hell did that mean? Charlie regarded me for a moment. "Jake, your dad's about ready to go."_

_I nodded and pushed myself up off the floor, rolling my magazine up and sticking it in my back pocket. Thank God for small favors. I glanced at Bella as I walked past but she didn't see me. She was still having a staring contest with Charlie. I shrugged and headed downstairs. They'd figure it out. They always did. _

I climbed out of the car and looked up at the familiar house. I'd practically grown up here it felt like. I trotted up the steps and let myself in. the living room was empty, but I could hear people moving around upstairs. I paused at the foot of the stairs and called up.

"Hello?"

A familiar bronze head appeared around the corner and Edward Cullen grinned at me. "Jake," he greeted me. "How was school?" he started down the stairs to shake my hand.

I raised my eyebrows at the fact he was wearing just boxers and a t-shirt. "Good. I think I passed everything, so that's a bonus."

Edward grinned at me. "We all just got up. Bella's in the shower and Jazz is dragging ass. Can I get you some coffee?"

I blinked. "You live here now?"

"Oh, yeah. I moved in last week. Bella and I have been…something, since the service." He shrugged, but had a huge grin on his face.

I wasn't quite sure how to feel about this. Bella and I weren't anything anymore, hadn't been for a few years now, but she was my first…everything. Those emotions just didn't go away. At the same time, I'd known for a while that there was something more between them than just the brother-sister relationship they admitted to. I was just surprised it'd taken them this long to do something about it. It sucked that Charlie's death was the catalyst for it all, but at least they'd finally admitted it there was more.

"Well…congratulations then." I grinned at him and clapped him on the shoulder. He was shorted than I was, but then most people were. Bella always called me a mutant for being 6'7 but I couldn't help the genes I got. Before Dad was put in the wheelchair he'd been 6'8 and Mom had been nearly 6'1, so it was expected I'd be tall. My sisters were the freaks at 5'9.

Edward led me into the kitchen where a pot of coffee was brewing. He poured up each a cup and I sat down at the scarred table while he started poking around in the refrigerator. We chatted easily for a few minutes until Jazz and Bells came downstairs at the same time, laughing and pushing each other in their race to get into the kitchen first.

"Jake!" Bella's face lit up when she saw me and she threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big kiss. "How are you, Shorty?"

I grinned. "I'm good. How are you?" I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms loosely around her waist. She was wearing jean and a t-shirt and her wet hair hung loose down her back, tickling my arms lightly and leaving little drops of water on my white shirt.

She sighed and took a drink out of my coffee cup. "Getting by. One day at a time and all that bullshit."

I nodded and glanced over quickly at Edward. He seemed to be ok with our comfortable position. I had to respect his non-jealousy. I'd been crazy jealous of Bella when we dated. It was the main reason we'd broken up, really.

"So how can I help? Need me to get you anything?"

She shook her head and took another sip of my coffee. I gave her an annoyed look and took it away from her. She grinned at me and pushed herself up and wandered over to Edward, taking his coffee from him.

"We're heading to Seattle to pack up my apartment and help Rose pack up, too. I'd invite you along, but we're going to need lots of space in the car."

"I could drive the truck," I offered.

She looked up at Edward quickly. He grinned. "Sure you're willing? Because we'll definitely take you up on it."

I grinned back. "Sure. I haven't seen you knuckleheads in ages, I'm up for hanging out all day."

She did a little happy dance and set the coffee down. "Ok then. We need to get Jazz dressed," she shot him a pointed look "and then we can get going."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "I don't have to get dressed?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him with a look I remembered well, only I'd never seen it directed at anyone else. "I actually like you this way, though you should probably put some pants on. Tanya will eat you alive."

He stiffened. "Tanya?"

She grinned. "Yeah. My roommate in college is named Tanya. Weird, right?"

"No kidding." He leaned down and kissed her on the nose. "Ok, I'm off to get dressed. You figure out something fast for breakfast."

She slapped his butt as he passed and turned to the cabinet. Jazz rolled his eyes and followed Edward, grinning at me as he passed. Bella froze and stood there, staring into the cabinet. I looked at her for a moment before finally standing up and crossing the kitchen.

"Bells?" I asked softly.

She turned around and I saw she was crying. She wrapped her arms around me and pressed her face against my chest. I stood there awkwardly. What the hell just happened? A minute ago she was laughing and teasing and now she was crying. I didn't get it. I rubbed her back and let her cry for a minute.

"What can I do?"

She sighed and stepped back, wiping her face. "I'm sorry. I just…I saw the oatmeal and Dad ate that shit every morning. I hadn't really noticed it before now for some reason."

I nodded. I remembered Charlie's oatmeal. He just used hot tap water, he didn't even boil it. She shook herself slightly and gave me a wobbly smile. "I've been incredibly emotional the last few weeks, go figure."

I grinned and ruffled her hair. She smacked my arm and pulled away, moving towards the refrigerator. Edward hadn't found anything in there, so I wasn't sure what she would find. Amazingly, she came out with eggs and bacon. I stood up and quietly helped her.

We'd cooked together a lot as kids so we moved well together in the kitchen. She was an absolute klutz just about everywhere else but in the kitchen, something I loved about her. In here, she was incredibly graceful and fluid.

It didn't take long to get the food cooked. Edward and Jazz came down and we all dug in while Bella quickly cleaned up. She ate standing at the counter like Charlie always had. I grinned as I got up and cleaned my dishes.

We piled into Edward's silver car and Bella's red truck and started off towards Seattle. It was a three hour drive, so I was happy to have Bella in the truck with me. The drive passed relatively quickly as we chatted and caught up. I'd missed my best friend.

Edward's POV

I stretched as I climbed out of the truck. Jazz and I had chatted easily the whole way down to Seattle but I was still curious about Bella and Jake's conversations. I knew they were just friends and I shouldn't be, but a small part of me was still jealous. They shared so much that I'd never really get in on: first kiss, first dates, first love.

They tumbled out of the truck laughing at some inside joke I was sure. Bella beamed at me and skipped across the pavement, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me lightly. I grinned and squeezed her back.

"I think it'll just take a little while to pack up here. I didn't have much furniture that's worth taking back and the rest is going to be picked up by the Salvation Army."

I nodded. "Well, then let's get on it. I want to get home before 2 am."

She rolled her eyes and headed into the apartment building. It was a nice enough place, though definitely low rent. She trotted up the first set of stairs and down a dark hall to the door at the end. She inserted the key and entered a dark apartment, the rest of us following like ducklings.

She stopped in the living room and turned to Jazz. "Most of the DVDs are mine, but they're all marked with our initials on the discs. You can start with that. I think that's really all of mine in here. The furniture and stuff is Tanya's."

He nodded and started going through the DVD's. I tossed him the keys so he could retrieve some of the broken down boxes out of my car and followed her into a small room on the other side of the kitchen. She led Jake into the bathroom. "This is my bathroom, so everything must go."

He made a face at her but nodded and turned to follow Jazz down to get boxes. She looked at me and pointed to the bedroom behind me. "You get my room. Everything must come back. I'm bringing back the desk and chair but no other furniture."

I nodded and turned back to follow Jake. The three of us brought up all the boxes and suitcases and quickly started filling them. It really didn't take that long with all of us working. Bella didn't care if things were just dumped into boxes so that made packing much easier. She quickly grabbed her things from the kitchen and then came into the bedroom to help me. Not for the first time, I was glad Bella wasn't a super girly girl. There was a lot of clothing, but not lots of little knick-knacks. Jazz finished the living room about the same time Jake finished the bathroom and they both joined us to help finish the bedroom. It was tiny and with so many big guys it was cramped. We finally shoved the bed against the wall and started taking boxes out to the cars.

We finally finished around 5. Bella looked around the empty room as Jake and Jazz headed down to take the last few boxes to the car. She sat on the bed and sighed.

"I guess this is really it."

I sat next to her and pulled her against me. "Yep." She rested her head against my shoulder and stared off into space. "This is the first move without him."

I rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head. "You're doing great."

She smiled and looked up at me. "You've been so good to me. Thanks." She leaned over and kissed me lightly. I held her tightly and deepened the kiss. She moaned softly against me and shifted so she was against me a little more.

"Excuse us," Jake chuckled.

Bella pulled away and rolled her eyes. "Damn, we keep getting interrupted just when it starts to get good."

"No kidding," I grumbled good naturedly.

"There's a guy outside who wants to talk to you," Jazz said, looking annoyed.

Bella raised her eyebrows. "A random guy or a specific guy?"

Jazz's face darkened. "Mike."

Bella's POV

I stared at Jazz for a beat before sighing and standing up. "Ok, you three go meet up with Rosalie. I've missed my opportunity to hit campus so I'll have to just do all that shit over the phone. I'll catch up at her place, ok?"

Edward looked doubtful. "You want me to stick around?"

I shook my head. "No, I can do this on my own. Thanks though." I smiled at him. "Turns out, I'm a big girl."

He rolled his eyes but stood up. He leaned down and gave me a kiss before we all headed out. Mike was sitting in the living room staring at the blank TV screen. The guys all shot me looks but I rolled my eyes and shooed them off. a moment later the door closed behind them and it was just me and Mike. I stood for a moment before finally sitting in the armchair and looking at him.

"Hi Mike."

"Why did you break up with me?"

I groaned. "We went over this. I'm staying in Forks for a while and I just don't have the energy for a long distance thing. They rarely work out."

"What about your brother and his wife?"

I gritted my teeth. Sure, bring up the poster children for long distance relationships. "That's different. He's overseas for his job."

"We could make it work, Bella."

"I'm not even willing to try, Mike." I was suddenly so tired I wanted to just curl up on the naked mattress in the other room. "Besides, we want different things in life. You want to be a traveling musician and I want to be stationary with a family."

"What if I change my mind and want a family?"

I rubbed my temples. "You don't really want a family; you're just saying that to try to get me to stay. Just let it go, Mike."

He scowled at me. "Fine."

I relaxed slightly. "You'll find someone, Mike, I'm sure of it. It's just not me."

He shrugged and stood up, staring off into space for a bit. "You think Tanya's available?"

Jasper's POV

When Bella finally showed up, she had a weird expression on her face. Edward looked at her anxiously.

"Everything go ok?"

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah…he asked if Tanya was available."

Jake started laughing. "Prick."

Rosalie smiled. "Well, good riddance. Come on and eat. I managed to save you some before these guys ate everything in sight."

She followed Rose into the kitchen while we went back to our assigned tasks. I was again in the living room packing up DVDs and CDs and Jake had been sent to Emmett's room to pack up a few of his more prized possessions that Rose would bring with her while the house was closed up for the next few months.

I was working within earshot so I could hear everything they were saying in the other room. They must have forgotten I was in there because the conversation turned to girl stuff.

"Rose, I'm late."

"Shut up, really?"

Bella sighed. "Yes. I think its stress, though. I mean, I haven't had any morning sickness or anything, though my breasts are incredibly tender."

I frowned. Tender breasts? What the hell?

"Not everyone has morning sickness," Rosalie said with an air of authority. "I've got a couple extra tests, you want to take one?"

Bella was quiet. I could hear the sound of silverware on the plate and knew she was probably playing with her fork.

"Maybe," she said finally, softly.

I froze as I suddenly realized what they were talking about. Holy shit, was Bella pregnant too? What was living with two pregnant women going to be like?

Edward's POV

Bella rode back with Jake and Jazz with me, though we were all tired, so there was little conversation in either car. At least not in mine. Jazz seemed distracted by something. Bella did too when we stopped for gas halfway. She gave me an absentminded kiss as I handed her a bottle of water when we got back in the cars to keep on. There was a storm rolling in so we pushed the truck as fast as it would go to get home ahead of it.

We worked quickly, getting almost half of the boxes in before the rain hit. Bella stayed inside while the three of us worked getting everything else in. we finally finished and collapsed onto the seats in the living room, every one of us soaked. Well, except Bella.

She stood looking around at the piles of boxes and sighed. "I'll go through these tomorrow. Jake, do you want to stay here tonight?"

He nodded. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Not at all. You can sleep in either Dad's room or here on the couch."

He was quiet for a beat. "I think I'd prefer the couch, if that's ok."

She nodded and looked at me. "Think you have anything he can wear? You're closer to his size than Jazz."

"Sure, I'll find some shorts and a shirt for him." I stood up and headed upstairs. Jazz and Bella followed me. Jazz ducked into his room and closed the door behind him, pulling his cell phone out as he did so. I grinned. Poor kid hadn't talked to Alice all day.

Bella paused in the hallway and pulled some blankets and a pillow out of the closet before heading down stairs.

It didn't take long before the house was quiet and everyone was in their areas. Bella was quiet as we undressed for bed.

"Edward we need to talk."

I grimaced. Nothing good ever followed that sentence, at least not in my experience. "Ok."

She turned to look at me, holding her sleep shirt against her wearing nothing but her panties. "I think I'm pregnant."

I froze. "Seriously?"

She nodded, chewing on the inside of her lip. "Yeah. I haven't had a period since Dad died. If figured it was stress at first but in Seattle I took a test and it came out positive."

I stared at her. "Like, this evening at Rose's?"

She nodded again and looked at me anxiously. I mind raced. We'd been a couple for what, a month now? Five weeks maybe? I wanted kids, and I knew she did, but I always figured we'd be together for a few years before that happened.

"Edward, say something," she said, her voice quavering.

I grinned and crossed the room, scooping her up in my arms and planting a solid kiss on her lips. She laughed against my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck. She leaned back a little, her eyes searching my face.

"So you're ok with this."

"Fuck yeah." I grinned at her. "It just moves everything else up."

She frowned. "Everything else?"

"Well, yeah. I knew we'd have kids someday, I just figured we'd be married first."

She pushed away from me with surprise. "Married? Shit, Edward, you just got divorced."

I grinned. "Yeah, but I've known I was going to marry you for a while now."

She stared at me. "Are you proposing?"

I thought for a second, then dropped down on one knee. "Marry me Bella Swan."

She laughed. "You've got to do better than this. We're both half naked for crying out loud."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Ok, I'll do better, but you've got to promise me something."

"What?" she grinned up at me, wrapping her arms around my chest.

"Say yes."

Her grin widened. "Depends on how you do it." She winked up at me.

I rolled my eyes and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck and kissed me, immediately deepening the kiss. I carried her over to the bed and gently lay her down on it, positioning myself over her.

"You know, you're right. We are half naked. We need to amend that."

She grinned at me and unwrapped her legs, bracing her feet on the mattress and lifting her hips as I slid her panties off and tossed them in a corner behind me. I stripped off my own underwear and resumed my position. She looked up at me with so much emotion in her eyes: love, lust, happiness, grief. I kissed her again, hoping to diminish the grief a little. She closed her eyes and wrapped her little body around mine, pulling me closer to her.

She angled her hips so I had easy access and we fit together perfectly. She sighed softly as the contact was completed. I rested inside her for a moment, enjoying the feel of her around me before I started moving against her. She lifted her hips with me, her hands pulling on mine, pulling me deeper every time. the bed started to squeak and she grinned up at me.

"You should finish fast or Jazz and Jake are going to have heart attacks."

I grinned back. "I'm not terribly interested in finishing fast, actually."

She made a face at me and I laughed, then gasped as her hand reached down between us and grabbed me, squeezing gently. That definitely sped things up. I groaned and climaxed, much sooner than I wanted to, but I did understand her reasoning. I rested over her, still inside, still emptying. She wrapped her arms around me and smiled softly.

"We sure do like to do things quickly, don't we?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, well, why waste time? Life is short."

She nodded and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

She shook her head. "No, I just…" she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I always thought Dad would be there when I got married and when I had my first baby and he won't be."

I rolled to the side, pulling her with me. I missed the connection, but we'd have years to connect…and reconnect. If we were lucky, maybe as much as fifty or more. I stroked her hair lightly and she nuzzled against my chest. "you'll have me and Emmett and Jazz and my parents and Rosalie and Jake and his dad. You've got a small army of people, B. I know it's not the same, I do, but you're in no way alone."

She nodded and kissed my chest before looking up at me. "I know. I just really looked forward to telling him I was going to make him a grandpa."

I grinned. "Who's to say he doesn't know? Hell, maybe he's picking out a kid for us now."

She snickered. "Oh man…I'd be careful with that line of thinking. He might be out to get you back for all the shit you got Emmett into as a kid."

"I think he'll send the demon kids to Emmett then," I shrugged.

We lay in quiet for a moment while the rain fell outside. "Shit. You have to tell your parents."

I groaned. They weren't crazy about us living together. "I'll tell them when I tell them we're engaged."

"Ok, but you have to kick ass with a proposal, don't forget. I heard what you did for Tanya the Terrible. I expect something way better than that. I'm pregnant with your baby."

I grinned. "Oh, I'll knock your socks off."

She laughed suddenly. "So I'll be barefoot and pregnant?"

"Yep. I'll do it in a kitchen, too, just to hit all the stereotypes."

She groaned and pushed herself up to kiss me. "Good night, Duardo."

"Good night Chicken Little."

***

Tali: So, the memory is almost a completely real one. The kiss, not, the boy friend painting the girl's nails and the milkshake are completely real. My Esme has a son a few months younger and the parents were always pushing us together and we were hanging out all the time growing up. One day we got bored and he painted my nails. There was never anything romantic, but he was much better at it than I was, so he painted my nails on a fairly regular basis. There was an old fashioned soda shop in the downtown of our city and my parents' house is practically in downtown so in the summer when he'd come spend the day with me, we'd walk to McLemore-Bass and split a chocolate shake (things were HUGE) and then walk back to my house and play board games. We played one called Big Deal and I ALWAYS won, which frustrated the hell out of him because he's so competitive. I think we did kiss in like, Kindergarten, but he denied it so I punched him on the playground. My dad got upset with us once when he came in and we were sitting on the other side of my bed hidden from view, laughing and talking about something. After that, whenever T came over, we had to have the door wide open whenever we were in my room. LAME.

Man…I was one screwed up kid…lol


	10. Chapter 10

Tali: Ok, first off, I apologize for all the mistakes on the last post. I was in a hurry to get it posted before I left for a movie (Zombieland kicks some serious ass, go see it) and didn't read through it after I posted it. I found a butt-ton when I got back and read over it to pick up the next chapter. I think I wrote it in about an hour Wednesday afternoon so….apologies. I typically read my chapters through a million times before posting to get any and all mistakes, but this story is different in that it's being written as its being posted.

Also, thanks to all my awesome reviewers and people who favorite my stories and get story alerts. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel really humbled and honored that anyone thinks anything of mine is a favorite and it boggles me that I'm on some people's favorite author list. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart…

***

Bella's POV

_Angela and I huddled together in the big bed, reading through the booklet and giggling. _

_"Are you sure this is for real?" I demanded skeptically. "This all seems pretty made up to me."_

_"No, I swear, this is where babies come from. Boys have a thing and they put it in your pee place and then you get a baby."_

_I frowned. "I've seen Jasper's thing. Why would a girl want to put that in her pee place?"_

_Angela shrugged. "I don't know. I think it hurts a lot, though, cause sometimes I hear Mama moaning like she's in pain."_

_I made a face. "Well, I'll just go buy a baby then. If it hurts, I'm not gonna have one." _

_We turned a page and stared in shock. "What's menstruation?" whispered Angela._

_I read quickly and frowned. "Apparently we have to bleed to have babies." _

_"Why?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't know." _

_We studied the anatomical drawings and giggled at the weirdness of the boy's thing. I'd seen Jasper's and even Emmett's and Edward's once on a fishing trip when they were peeing in the woods and they seemed tame enough. I didn't really get how that put a baby in a woman's stomach, but apparently there was sneezing involved, if Angela's book was right. _

_"Maybe we should ask our parents," I said finally. "Cause I don't understand this at all. If people can get pregnant from sneezing why aren't there more babies?"_

_Angela shrugged. _

_"Girls."_

_We looked up guiltily and saw Daddy standing in the doorway. _

"_I told you to go to bed over an hour ago."_

"_But we're in bed, Daddy," I smiled up at him. _

_He fought it but grinned at me anyway. "I meant go to sleep. We can't go to the fair tomorrow if you're both still asleep."_

_Angela was trying to hide the book under the covers but I grabbed it and held it out to him. "Daddy, is this book right about where babies come from?"_

_He froze for a second before slowly reaching out and taking it from me. He flipped through it for a minute then sighed. "Yes."_

_My jaw dropped. "A boy puts his thing inside a girl and gives her a baby?"_

_Daddy nodded. He sat down on the edge of the bed and studied the two of us. Angela was leaning forward with interest now. "There's more to it, though. There's kissing and love, and none of that is to happen until you're married."_

_I frowned. "Angela's mom isn't married."_

_He grimaced. "Well, it can happen when you're not married, but it won't for you, Isabella Swan, not if you know what's good for you."_

_I sat back, stunned. I never got called Isabella. He studied the book for a second. "Where did you girls get this?"_

_Angela flushed. "I stole it from my sister."_

_He chuckled. "Well, if you girls have questions, you should ask a parent, ok? If you don't want to talk to us, maybe talk to a teacher or other grown up. This is important stuff."_

_I nodded solemnly. "I will Daddy. Can we have our book back?"_

_He grinned and handed it over. He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Now, go to sleep."_

_He waited until we were tucked into the bed before he turned off the light and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him, leaving it open a crack so he could hear us. We lay in silence for a bit. _

"_I'm never letting a boy put his thing in me if it hurts," Angela whispered. "I'll just go to the baby store with you."_

I stood for a moment beside the truck, enjoying the rare sunny day before I headed inside. My trip to the doctor confirmed my pregnancy and in a town this size, I knew it would only be a matter of time before everyone knew that Chief Swan's daughter was knocked up and unmarried. I sighed and walked up the steps. I was about a month along, putting the conception to the week after Dad died. At least I had the relief of knowing for sure it was Edward's. I hadn't voiced that concern to him, knowing he'd claim it either way.

The house was cool and quiet when I came in. I made a point to slam the door loudly, knowing Jazz and Alice were probably up in his room being deviant. I grimaced. I had finally gotten used to the idea of Emmett having sex; I wasn't up to accepting Jasper having a sex life.

I headed into the kitchen to see what we had for dinner purposes. I'd finally managed to get a job. It was working front desk at the Dew Drop Inn, not a great job, but one that would help pay the bills. I doubted Rose's ability to get much of a job here and Edward shouldn't have to support three other people and two babies so I would need to pitch in.

I pulled some chicken out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter while I pulled other things out of the cabinets. Sautéed chicken and rice sounded easy and good.

"Bella? Can we talk for a sec?"

I turned to see Jasper and Alice standing in the doorway, their hands clasped tightly. I felt a lump of dread in my stomach. I gestured to the table and sat down across from them.

We sat in silence for a beat before Alice blurted out "I'm pregnant."

I stared at them for another beat, then dropped my head and banged it on the table.

"Shit."

"Bella, I'm sorry. We were using protection, I don't know what happened."

I sighed and reached out and put my hands on theirs, not lifting my head. "It's fine. We'll be fine. I'm just…shit." I sat up and looked at them tiredly. "I'm pregnant too."

Jasper's eyes widened. "Fuck. Are Swans like, the most fertile people on earth or something?"

I laughed. "Apparently. What are the odds that all three of Charlie's kids would get pregnant within a month of his death?"

I rubbed my temples tiredly and looked at them. "Have you told your parents, Alice?"

She shook her head. "We thought we'd tell you first and see if you could help us."

"How?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I could move in here with you?"

I stared at her and then burst out laughing. Jasper and Alice exchanged a nervous look as I seemingly lost it.

"Seriously?" I managed when my guffaws subsided to giggles. "You want to move in here, to a three bedroom ONE bathroom house with Jasper, our pregnant sister-in-law, me, another pregnant woman, and Edward?"

She chewed on her lip. "Maybe?"

I was giggling again. "Sweetie, you're definitely welcome, but think about it. ONE bathroom. THREE pregnant women. TWO poor men who'll have to pee in the yard."

She smiled at that. Then she started to giggle softly. "I didn't think about that." She looked up at Jasper. "Maybe you could move in with me?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, the whole legal aspect of Jasper's guardianship has to remain with me, so he has to stay with me."

Their faces fell and I felt bad. "Look, we'll figure something out, ok? Don't worry about that. Have you two figured out what you're doing?"

She shifted. "I'd like to keep it, but I guess it depends on support, you know? I can't take care of a baby by myself and I want to finish school. The lady at the free clinic said I'm due in like, March. At least that's near the end of the school year. Sort of."

I nodded and studied them for a minute. "So you want to keep the baby and you want to be together, right?"

They nodded. "Well, then you need to talk to your parents, Alice, and figure all that out with them. Jasper and I will come along for support, though I'm not sure how thrilled they'll be with the whole thing."

Her small shoulder slumped. "They're going to be pissed," she said softly.

I had to admit, I wasn't thrilled, but I didn't feel like I was in a position to throw stones. I reached over and patted their hands before getting up and starting dinner.

Edward's POV

I pulled up to the house and grinned. I loved coming home to Bella. It was so homey the way she either always had dinner on the table or very nearly did and how warm and inviting the house was. I hummed softly to myself as I practically leapt up the stairs. I needed to email Emmett tonight and I wanted to get that done before dinner. He'd be getting up soon and I hoped he'd send me a quick reply.

Bella was in the kitchen, her hair pulled back in a loose messy bun as she poked at some chicken in a skillet.

"Hello, Beautiful," I smiled, kissing her neck. She smiled up at me. "I'm going to run up and send an email to Emmett then I'll be back, ok?"

She nodded. "Be quick. Dinner's almost ready."

I nodded back and hurried up to our small room. I noticed that the living room was empty and Jasper's door was open. There were soft voices coming from inside but I decided to investigate that later.

I pulled off my shirt and pants and pulled on a pair of jeans while the computer started up.

I called up my email and sat for a moment, thinking of what I wanted to say before I started typing.

**Hey Emmy, **

**Just wanted to touch base with you on a couple of things here before Rose got a chance to: Bella's pregnant. She'll probably be pissed as hell at me for telling you, but I want to propose before she gets too huge to agree to marry me. You can kick my ass later, but as the man of the family, I'm hoping you'll give me your blessing on this whole thing. **

**Bella walked in on Jasper and Alice having sex the other day. I think it scarred her a little: she wouldn't let me touch her for about three days. She's better now, though still a little annoyed with them. A lot like you were when your dad told you about walking in on Bella and Jake…**

**Who, incidentally, showed up the other day. He helped us move B back home from Seattle. Not a bad kid. **

**I guess that's it. I'll be looking for your reply before I go to bed (oh, by the way, I'm living here, too.)**

**Hottest Doctor at Forks Hospital**

Jasper's POV

Alice's dad is going to kill me. Her mom is going to help him. They'll probably feed me to the dog.

I poked at my dinner, those thoughts running through my head on permanent loop. Alice had gone home for dinner. Her parents were a little put out with how much time she was spending over here and over the fact that she'd let some of her other relationships slide. They were going to be even angrier when everything came out.

Bella and Edward were quiet, too. Everything was changing so quickly and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it except buckle up and hold on for dear life.

"So how were your days?" asked Edward, finally breaking the silence.

Bella looked up at him and smiled. "I went to the doctor and got a definite yes on the pregnancy. I'm due February 14th."

Edward's face lit up. I knew he loved kids, though I couldn't remember ever actually seeing him with one. "Did they do an ultrasound?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's too soon for that. They'll do one in a couple months and we can find out the sex of the baby and everything."

He nodded and smiled down at his food before taking another bite. He looked up at me. "How about you?"

I squirmed in my seat and glanced at Bella nervously. She rolled her eyes. "Um…it was fine."

She snorted into her water. Edward started pounding her on the back until she waved him off.

"Fine? Jasper, come on. Tell him."

I sighed and poked my chicken again. "Alice is pregnant, too."

There was a long silence before Edward started laughing. "I swear, when you Swans procreate, you do it in spades."

B shot him an annoyed glare. "It's not like it was planned for all three of us to reproduce at the same time."

He grinned. "Oh, but it still happened. Your dad would be beyond ecstatic if he were here."

She sighed and sat back from her seat. "No, he wouldn't. Edward, if Dad hadn't died, none of these babies would be here. Well, except for maybe Alice's." She winked at me. "And he would be pissed at Jazz for a while before finally giving in and being cool about it."

I grimaced. No way were the Brandons going to be cool about this. I'd be castrated first.

"So when do you talk to her parents?" asked Edward.

I sighed. "Al wants to do it tomorrow if possible. B's not available until afternoon, so we're thinking before dinner?"

He turned to Bella. "Why aren't you available?"

She grinned. "I got a job. Front desk agent at the Dew Drop Inn. I start tomorrow."

He raised his eyebrows. "You're going to work at a hotel? You realize you have to be nice to people, right?"

She punched him in the arm. "I can be nice."

He shot me an amused look and I grinned in spite of my current anxieties. "Sure, B."

"Fuck you. I can be nice." She smacked the back of his head as she stood up and started clearing the table.

Edward's POV

Bella was fast asleep when I called my email back up. I grinned when I saw the email from Emmett.

**Eddie boy!**

**I most definitely will be kicking your ass when I get home, no doubt about that. But not too hard, my niece or nephew needs a dad. As such, welcome to the family! Try not to taint the pure awesomeness of the Swans with the genius of the Cullens. We don't need smart babies running around, spouting Shakespeare or some shit like that at us before they can walk. Give my kid a chance or he'll be kicking your kid's ass. **

**I give you my blessing and I also think you should use Dad and Renee's rings. She won't want them, I'm sure, and it'll mean something to B. I know it'll fit her because she tried it on once when she was about 16. Freaked the shit out of me because I thought she'd run off with Jake. **

**He's not a bad kid, but you're better. I know all your dirty secrets and will use them to my advantage for the next 50 or so years. Consider yourself forewarned. **

**I knew you moved in, B told me, but thanks for growing a pair and telling me yourself. Don't tell the girls or they'll castrate me, but I honestly feel better with you there to look after everyone. I am sorry that you have to live with two pregnant women, though. Tough break. ;-) **

**Gotta run, duty calls. Hit me back when you get a chance and keep me updated with all the haps. **

**Lord Awesome of Swanland**

I rolled my eyes and shut down the computer. At least I had his blessing, but Lord Awesome of Swanland? Where the hell did he get this shit?

I got up quietly and headed into Charlie's room. We hadn't been in here in days and it was a little stuffy. I walked to the desk where the rings were sitting and picked up the box. I opened it and studied the bands carefully. I slipped Charlie's band out and slid it on my finger. It fit perfectly. I decided to talk to Jazz about it in the morning before I just took them. He was getting the diamond, but he should have say in the bands, too.

I took the ring off and put it back in the box and returned the box to its location before going back to my room and climbing into bed next to Bella. She lifted her face in her sleep for a kiss, which I happily bestowed. She then rolled so she was facing away from me. I grinned, sliding my hand down to cup her belly. Out of great sorrow was coming great joy. Charlie would have gotten a laugh out of all three of his children getting pregnant as a result of his death.

***

Tali: So, I'm NOT pregnant, just want to get that out there, but the stress of the grief and everything did cause some question as to that fact. We actually worried that I'd miscarried at one point this summer (sorry if that's TMI). I'm saying all this to point out that stress and grief and all that can affect your bodies. It makes you physically hurt, physically ill, and messes with cycles.

The memory is a couple of hazy ones that I combined. One with a girl who stole her sister's puberty book and we stayed up late giggling over the absurdity of it, the other me spilling the beans on sex to another girl, who's mom was totally pissed at my mom. I was given a book as a child that likened sex to a sneeze and that's literally all I remember about it. Well, I remember a picture of ejaculation, but I couldn't figure out what the hell that was. I think I was about 5 or 6 at the time. Let's just say I had some messed up ideas about sex for a while…lol


	11. Chapter 11

What I have: slowly come to the realization through some of these memories that I'm really weird. I thought it was only moderately weird, but it's pretty certain that I'm a freak. Just FYI.

What I don't have: um....money, fame, popularity, hot guys that starred in movies stashed away. I'm pretty certain SM doesn't have the last one, either, but she owns the structure for my playground.

Edward's POV

_"I hate you!" screamed Bella, slamming her door in Emmett's face. _

_He looked at me, an amused expression on his face. "She'll get over it," he laughed, motioning for me to follow him into his room. Jasper was sitting on the floor playing with his GI Joe's, most of them inherited from Em and I. he looked up at us curiously._

"_What'd you to do B this time?"_

_I grinned. "He asked if she hurt herself after he heard her singing in the shower."_

_Jazz's eyes widened. "Really? I thought she sounded ok."_

_Em shrugged and dropped onto his bed. "She's not half bad, but still. It's my brotherly duty to tease the shit out of her." He glanced down at Jazz. "You're not allowed to use that word."_

_Jazz rolled his eyes and went back to his Joes. I took a seat on his bed and looked at Em. "So the Marines, huh?"_

_He nodded, a grin on his face. "Yeah. I'll see the world on the government's dime, then go to school on them too. It's going to be awesome."_

_I scratched my chin skeptically. "What about that whole danger of getting shot thing?"_

_He waved his hand dismissively. "I'm not worried about that. It takes a hell of a lot to kill a Swan." _

_I grinned, remembering the car accident a few years back that had almost taken Charlie down. He'd been too stubborn to die, though and so we still had him. I turned my attention to Jazz._

"_So, have you discovered girls yet?"_

_He wrinkled his nose. "Not really. I mean, there are some that aren't that bad, but most of them are boring. Not like Bella."_

_I grinned. Bella was a hell of a sister, I had to agree. She'd played Army with Em and I as kids and once joined in whole heartedly in the barbequing of some of Jazz's Joes. Of course, she'd also ratted us out on that one. She seemed to typically stand up for Jazz whenever it came down to him or Em. I had to respect that, even though at times it was really annoying. _

"_Well, you probably won't find a girl just like Bella," Emmett pointed out. "And if you did, that'd be weird. You should just look for a girl that makes you happy long term. But no rush on that." He grinned. "You're only 8."_

_I chuckled at Jazz's annoyed/disgusted/intrigued expression and stretched out on his bed. Finding a girl who made you happy long term was probably easier said than done. _

I was up before the others the next morning, like usual. I started the coffee then went up to take a shower and get dressed. Bella passed me as I exited the bathroom, grunting in my direction. I grinned. I was a morning person and the Swans definitely were not. I'd learned long ago to just keep my mouth shut.

I dressed quickly and then headed to Jasper's room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed looking out the window vacantly. I'd seen that look on Emmett's face a million times and it was a little weird to see it on Jasper.

"Hey Jazz, can I talk to you for a sec?"

He looked at me blearily. "Sure, if you don't mind me not remembering stuff later."

I grinned and sat next to him. "That's fine. I want to propose to B. Emmett gave me his blessing and suggested I use your parents' rings. I wanted to talk to you about that."

"The rings?" he looked confused. "Why would I care?"

I shrugged. "You get the diamond, it kind of goes with the band a little."

"I don't want them. The last wedding they were used in failed."

"But you'll take the diamond?"

He shrugged and scratched his chin. "Diamonds are expensive."

I laughed. "So, do I have your blessing to marry B?"

He snorted. "You better not let her hear you asking for other people's blessing. She'll kick your ass."

I rolled my eyes. "That's why I'm doing it while she's in the shower."

He grinned. "Yeah, you've got my blessing. It was inevitable anyway."

I clapped a hand on his bare shoulder and stood up. "Thanks. I've got to run. Good luck at the Brandon's tonight."

He groaned and fell backwards across his bed. "Thanks, I'd almost forgotten I'm going to die tonight."

Jasper's POV

If B was half as nervous as I was, she was shit-tons better at hiding it. She smiled and chatted with Mrs. Brandon easily while Alice and I sat nervously on the love seat. Mr. Brandon would be home any minute and then the discussion would begin.

"And how are you liking your new job?"

B smiled. "Today was my first day, so I'm not totally sure yet, but it seems simple enough: keep the guests happy."

Mrs. Brandon laughed. "Yes, though I'm sure that at times that'll be easier said than done."

B nodded and took a sip of her water.

"I'm home," called Mr. Brandon, coming in the back door with a grin.

Al jumped up and gave him a tight hug. He hugged her back and I felt a pang knowing I'd never get a bear hug from Dad again. I wished I hadn't been such an ass about them the last few years. B reached over and squeezed me knee. Her eyes were slightly glassy so I knew she was having similar thoughts.

"Let's eat," said Mrs. Brandon brightly. "I know the Swans have to get home so Bella can go to bed early."

B smiled, though I could tell she was annoyed at the slightly patronizing tone in Mrs. Brandon's voice. Maybe she would be ok at a hotel.

Dinner went ok until it finally came out.

Mr. Brandon looked up at Alice and smiled.

"So, sweetheart, how was your day?"

"I'm pregnant," Alice blurted out.

I choked on my water and looked at her in shock. _No warning at all, thanks Al_. She seemed to read my mind and mouthed _I'm sorry_ to me.

There was shocked silence for a long while until Mr. Brandon slammed his hands down on the table and pushed back from it, looming over me angrily. "You!" he shouted. "You did this to my baby girl!"

I cowered back in my seat. I hadn't really expected this reaction. "I'm sorry," I managed finally. "We were careful, I just…I don't know what happened."

"Alice, how could you," Mrs. Brandon was crying now.

Alice looked like she wanted to throw up. I reached to take her hand but Mr. Brandon pounded his fist on the table. "Don't you dare touch my daughter." I jerked my hand back to my lap.

"Let's everyone calm down," said B in what I'm sure was supposed to be a soothing tone but was actually slightly panicked. She clearly hadn't expected such a volatile reaction from Mr. Brandon either.

He turned on her. "I will not calm down," he growled. "Your brother tainted my daughter."

B's face darkened. "It takes two to tango, as they say Mr. Brandon. My brother didn't force himself on Alice. She was a willing participant, I'm sure. She's just as guilty in this situation as he is."

I thought Mr. Brandon's head was going to explode with that one. His fist hit the table again. I thought absentmindedly that if he kept that up he'd have a hell of a bruise later. "He must have talked Alice into it," he insisted.

"Daddy, I wanted to. I love him."

I stared at her. "Really?"

She flushed. "Yeah. I love you Jasper."

I grinned. "I love you too." I wanted to kiss her but figured that was probably off limits right now. And wisely so. Mr. Brandon got impossibly redder.

"Look," began B carefully, "it's a rotten situation, sure, but we can make this work. Babies are a wonderful miracle…"

"You would think that," spat Mr. Brandon. "You're the reason they're pregnant, I'm sure. They look up to you, you know, and you went and got pregnant like a damn fool. What kind of parental figure are you anyway? You're only 20 years old."

B's face drained of color briefly before it flooded bright red again. "I'm not going to sit here take that. I did get pregnant at an interesting time, but the father and I love each other and we're committed."

"How committed can you be? He just got divorced." Mr. Brandon had turned on B now and at the same time I was relieved that the vitriol wasn't aimed at me an Al anymore but I was also pissed he was attacking my sister.

"Listen," I heard myself saying angrily, "He's been a part of our family his entire life. He's like another brother, but more because he loves Bella and has for years. It just took a shitty situation to make them realize it. Same thing with me and Alice. I didn't realize I loved her until I thought about what I could miss out on in life if I died tomorrow. So you leave my sister alone, she's doing damn fine."

Everyone was staring at me shocked. I was a little shocked, too. I didn't usually yell, even during sports. I swallowed hard and sat back down. I hadn't even realized I'd stood up. Alice was staring at me wide-eyed.

Mr. Brandon was staring at me, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "Get out," he finally shouted. "Both of you."

B stood up and dropped her napkin on the table. "Gladly," she muttered, starting towards the door. I stood up hesitantly. Alice stood up with me.

"Daddy, if he leaves, I leave."

Mrs. Brandon, who'd been crying though everything, immediately stopped and she looked up quickly. "Alice, you aren't leaving."

"I go with Jasper," she said stubbornly.

I looked at her. "Stay, Al. It's fine. I'll talk to you later."

She looked doubtful. I leaned down and kissed her lightly. "I love you."

She smiled at me. "I love you too."

B was standing in the doorway expectantly. I waved automatically at the Brandons and followed after B to the truck.

We drove in silence for a minute or two before she pulled over suddenly. She opened the door, leaned over and threw up. I sat in shock for a second, then leaned over and grabbed her hair for her as she threw up again. She reached a cold hand back and squeezed my wrist.

When she was done she sat for a long moment with her head on the back of the seat, her eyes closed.

"Shit that was scary. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that pissed."

I nodded my agreement. I rummaged through her purse and found a wadded up tissue I handed her. She smiled and wiped her mouth with it. I then handed her a mint I'd found which she gratefully popped in her mouth. She rummaged around on the floor and found a bottle of water that she took a swig of, swished around and then spit out.

"Don't tell anyone I threw up. I want them to think I'm a bad ass."

I grinned. "Your secret's safe with me."

She winked at me and we headed home.

Bella's POV

I yawned as we pulled into the house. It was dark, which was odd since Edward's car was in the drive. I climbed out and walked towards the door. Jazz got there ahead of me and frowned at a note he found taped to the door. He handed it to me and I frowned, too.

**B,**

**Come in alone.**

**E. **

I looked up at Jazz curiously. He shrugged but sat on the steps and pulled his phone out of his pocket and started playing some game. I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

There were lit candles everywhere reflecting off of silver foil on the floor. I frowned and bent down, picking up a piece of chocolate covered in silver foil. There was an arrow made of them pointing towards the stairs where a trail of them disappeared. I followed it, carefully avoiding the chocolates as I walked. The trail led into the bathroom where there were more candles.

The bathtub was filled with rose petals and there were more strung on fishing wire hanging down from the ceiling. I stared at it, completely confused before turning around and following the trail back downstairs and into the kitchen.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw Edward sitting at the kitchen table, a grin on his face. He stood up, the candle light catching the gold and red in his hair and making it look like fire. He was wearing his tuxedo and there was a shit-ton of red roses and orchids and tulips everywhere, all my favorites.

He took my hands in his and smiled down at me. "Bella, you've been a part of my life since the day you were born. You were there on my first day of school and at every graduation after that. You were like a sister at first and then you became more. I waited for years for you to grow up and I'm so impressed with the woman you've become. We've had a great 20 years so far, a fantastic month and a wonderful future to look forward to." He dropped down on one knee and I knew I was grinning like an idiot but I didn't care. "I've kissed the ground you walk on and I've showered you with rose petals. I'd cook for you but I'm afraid I'd burn the house down. Will you marry me?" he opened a small tan suede box revealing a diamond that flashed and flared in the candle light.

"Yes," I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. "No, not yes, HELL yes."

He laughed and stood up, kissing me again. We lost ourselves in the moment before a clap of thunder reminded me Jasper was still outside. I pulled away and grinned at him.

"Jazz."

He chuckled and released me. I hurried to the door and opened it, letting Jazz in just ahead of the torrents of rain. He looked around the living room for a moment.

"Did the power go out?"

***

Tali: So, I actually walked in shortly after a proposal where the guy had strewn rose petals everywhere and there were lit candles all over the place. The girl was in the other room on the phone so he and I sat and burned stuff in the candle flames and talked about how we used to play with hot wax as kids. It took me seeing two ring boxes on the coffee table to completely figure it out.

Also, I used to play Army with my older brother who is OBSESSED with WW2. I was a nurse and he was the entire Allied forces, defeating the Germans as they attempted to storm our back garden. We got mad at my little brother once and stole all his GI Joes and cut them to pieces before burying them in the garden. I didn't tell, but the little bro did and we got in trouble. So we set up a fort that was for T's only (both our names start with T) and we got in trouble for that, too. Ah, siblings…great to have.


	12. Chapter 12

Bella's POV

_I lay on the bed and cried, sobbed really, kicking my feet against the mattress. I wasn't going to do it no matter what. No one could make me. _

"_Bella? Sweetie, what's wrong?"_

_I rolled over and saw Daddy in the doorway looking concerned for me. "Emmett told me…" I hiccupped and started to cry again. _

_Daddy sat on the edge of the bed and cradled me in his arms. I rested against him, loving the feel of his arms around me. "What did Emmett say?" he grabbed a tissue off my nightstand and held it over my nose while I blew. _

_I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "He told me that I have to get bigger and leave and that someday you and Mommy won't want me around anymore."_

_Daddy was quiet as he stroked my hair. "Well, everyone grows up, sweetie. There's no way to stop that, though if I could put a brick on your head and keep you my little girl forever I would." He grinned down at me. "And you'll want to leave someday, but Mommy and I will always want you."_

_I hiccupped again, calming down some now. "But I don't want to grow up, Daddy, I like being a kid."_

_He chuckled softly. "Then enjoy it while it lasts. You'll enjoy parts of being a teenager and parts of being a grown up. I know it's scary, but you'll be ok."_

_I sighed and closed my eyes. I was so tired now. Before too long, I was fast asleep, safe in Daddy's arms. _

I yawned and pulled myself out of bed. It wasn't even light out yet but I had to get to work. I grinned when my eye caught the ring on my left hand as the dim light caught the diamond and made it sparkle.

Edward was still fast asleep, his arm stretched out where I'd been just a moment ago. I leaned down and kissed him lightly before grabbing my uniform of black pants and a white shirt and headed to the bathroom.

It was interesting to be up at 6 am. I typically didn't get out of bed until about 8, being much more of a night person than a day person. Rosalie was a morning person, as was Edward, so when she moved in today at least he'd have someone to talk to in the mornings.

I showered and dressed quickly, pinning my wet hair up in a messy bun before heading downstairs. I started the coffee and grabbed some toast for myself before heading out.

The Dew Drop was a small inn, not much more than 50 or 60 rooms. The rooms had interior corridors, which was nice with Forks weather being what it was. My manager was a nice enough girl name Sylvia. She was absolutely gorgeous and I felt completely frumpy next to her. I wasn't showing yet, but I still tugged on my shirt self-consciously.

The training part of my job was over and now it was on to actually working by myself. Sylvia was there this morning with me, though she was in the back most of the day working on paperwork. I was quickly discovering that Saturday mornings were incredibly boring and slow.

I leaned against the counter and studied my nails. So much had changed in the past two weeks my mind was still struggling to keep up with it all.

After the disastrous dinner with the Brandons, Alice had been grounded and forbidden to see Jazz. He'd moped around the house for a couple days before I finally kicked him out and sent him to the res to hang out with Jake and his deviant friends. He'd enjoyed himself out there but still moped at the house. We kept hoping that they'd loosen up soon, but so far, the banishment was iron clad.

Rosalie had taken a hiatus from her job for about a year, something I was amazed the law firm was letting her do. I guess working for your dad had definite perks. She'd decided to go ahead and move up sooner since that was taken care of more quickly than she'd anticipated, so she was coming today so that she could spend the 4th of July with everyone. We were all headed out to the res for the party and bonfire on the beach. Why the Native American's were partying was beyond me, but they seemed to jump at any excuse to build giant fires so I didn't question it too much.

Emmett emailed everyone on a fairly regular basis, making sure we were surviving. He'd called as soon as he received the email about Alice, forgetting it was about 2 in the morning here. He'd yelled at Jazz for a bit on the phone before calming down and apologizing for calling at such an ungodly hour.

I shifted in my spot, standing up and pasting a smile on my face when a harried looking man came in.

"Good morning," I greeted him cheerfully. "How can I help you?"

He grunted at me. "I need a room for a month. What do you have?"

I checked the computer and found him a room that he seemed to accept. I didn't miss the fact that he was definitely checking me out. The titty fairy had visited, so my ta-tas were enormous. Made Edward ecstatic, made other guys ogle me. I hunched my shoulders a little and smiled at the man as I handed him his keys. "You'll be on the second floor. If you'll go through that doorway and turn left, the elevator is right there and you're down the hall on the right." I pointed as I gave him his directions, but his eyes were locked on my chest. I resisted the urge to both slap him and cover myself.

"Is there anything going on around here for the holiday?" he asked, leaning against the desk. Now that he had a room, he also apparently had time to talk.

I thought for a moment. "I think there's going to be a fireworks display somewhere, and the diner down the street is having their annual cookout, so that'll be fun."

"Will you be at any of that?" he grinned at me and I grimaced inwardly. Outwardly I laughed. "No, my family and I have our own plans." I left it at that, hoping he wouldn't ask me what they were.

He looked disappointed as he straightened up. "Well I guess I'll see you around Bella." He winked at me as he left. I knelt down as though to tend to the printer and grimaced at his back.

"You ok?"

I looked up, startled. Sylvia was standing in the door to the back office, an amused look on her face. I sighed and straightened up. "Yeah, creepy guy just checked in and checked me out."

She laughed and moved to the computer. "That'll happen a lot. Attractive front desk agents pretty much get hit on 24/7 around here."

I leaned on the desk again and gazed out the window while she worked.

"How's your family doing anyway?" she asked curiously.

I shrugged. "We're doing ok I guess." No need to mention the insanity of three pregnancies, a banishment, and an engagement while adjusting to a death and seemingly everyone moving into the same house.

She nodded and left it at that. I liked that about Sylvia. She was easy to talk to but didn't press anything. I knew if I needed to, I could go and talk about anything, even non-work related things. I still hadn't told her I was pregnant. I was a little nervous of losing my job after only a couple of weeks, as irrational as that was. Rosalie would sue and we'd own the place if that happened.

The phone rang and I grabbed it, excited for something to do. "Dew Drop Inn, this is Bella, how may I help you?"

"B, it's Jazz."

My blood went cold. "Jazz, what's wrong."

He sighed and I imagined him running his fingers through his hair. "Alice's parents kicked her out. She won't get an abortion and they're pissed that she keeps talking to me."

My jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Can she stay here?"

I closed my eyes and counted to 10. "Yes, of course, just…remember that Rosalie's coming today."

"It won't take long to move her in. Her parents aren't letting her take hardly anything other than some clothes and stuff."

I nodded, my heart going out to the girl. What a time for your parents to seemingly abandon you. "I'll be home a little after 3, ok? Just call and let me know if you need me to get anything on the way home."

"Yeah, sure. Edward's going to drive us, and we've got to go while her parents are out."

I grimaced. This sounded more like running away than anything. I'd get to the bottom of it as soon as I got home. I hung up and went back to my boredom. The creepy guy came back through a few times as he unloaded his car and I made a point to look busy, once even picking up the phone and talking into it when he looked like he might want to chat.

Three o'clock finally came and I passed on everything quickly, punched out and headed home. The Jag was sitting in the driveway between my spot and Edward's when I pulled in and I could see Rosalie inside directing traffic. I grinned and swung down, hurrying inside.

"Bella," Rose looked up with a grin as she grabbed me in a hug. "How are you?"

I grinned. "I'm good. Big ta-tas, but good."

She laughed. "I know. It irritates Emmett that he's not here to play with them."

I made a face and looked around. There were boxes stacked everywhere. "How did you fit all this in your car?"

She grinned. "I hired a moving van to follow me. They just left."

I shook my head. "Crazy bitch."

She shoved me lightly. "Just tell me where I can store things and we'll be ok. We checked the attic but it's pretty full."

I scratched my neck thoughtfully, then saw the music room. "Use that." I pointed to it. "I'm not using it anymore."

"Are you sure?" she asked with surprise. "What if you want to play something?"

I shook my head. "I'm not playing anymore, Rose. Store what you can in there, we'll find space for the rest of it."

She looked like she wanted to pursue a line of questioning like I was a witness in one of her cases but she let it go and started moving boxes into the music room. Edward came down the stairs then and grinned at me, pulling me into a hug and kiss.

"How was work?"

"Good. Creepy guy likes my girls, but what else is new?" I winked at him as I headed upstairs to change. "Help Rose put the boxes in the music room while I change.

He looked surprised. "Are you sure? What if you…"

"I'm sure," I snapped. "Music room."

He nodded and started moving boxes. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt quickly and then headed to Jazz's room where I could hear him and Alice talking.

I stood in the doorway and knocked on the frame. They looked up and I saw that Alice was crying. I crossed the room and sat beside her, pulling her into a hug.

"Did your parents really kick you out?" I asked softly.

She shook her head. "They didn't want an abortion, either. They want me to give the baby up."

I was quiet, stroking her hair like Dad always did mine. "And you don't want to, even after thinking about it for a while?"

She sighed. "I don't know, but I know I don't want to be forced into it."

I sat for a moment. "We have to call them, Alice. They're probably worried sick."

She looked up at me, hurt. "You said I was welcome here."

"And you are, but not if you're running away. Your parents have a right to know where you are and who you're with."

She nodded tiredly and I looked over at Jasper. "Was this your idea?"

He shook his head glumly. "No, but I support it."

I rolled my eyes and dug my phone out of my pocket and held it out. "Alice, call your parents. Tell them you want to stay here and we're happy to have you, but you're not allowed to stay if they say no."

Edward's POV

My parents showed up at the house about 5 and we all piled into two cars and headed out to La Push. There'd been some kind of controversial phone call to the Brandon's and apparently, Alice was officially staying with us, with her parents' permission. I felt a bubble of panic in my stomach. Three pregnant women in one house? Shit.

The small red house on the res was just like I remembered it: a little run down, but still pretty homey. The girls weren't there, but Jake took up as much room as the two of them. I remembered how crowded that house had been when we were all younger.

Billy wheeled himself down to the yard to greet us, grinning like crazy as we piled out of the cars and hugged. Alice seemed suddenly shy as she met the Blacks but Jake pulled her into a giant bone crushing hug, making Jazz a little jumpy.

We loaded Billy into the car and Mom and Dad drove him down to the beach while we younger people walked. I reached over and took Bella's hand in mine as we walked. She smiled up at me and squeezed my hand.

"So, is there something you want to tell me?" asked Jake with a grin as he sidled up to Bella's other side.

She grinned up at him. "Perceptive little fella, aren't you?"

"So what's up?"

"We'll tell everyone at the same time."

"Bullshit. Tell me now or I'm throwing you in the water."

Bella's jaw dropped. "What the hell?" she looked up at me indignantly. "You're going to let him threaten me like that?"

I grinned. "I don't think I could stop him, babe. He's bigger than me."

She huffed and crowded closer to my side. "I'll tell you when I tell everyone, Jake. Not a minute sooner."

"Ok, you asked for it," he grinned. We were just getting to the beach, so he grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and started towards the water. She was shrieking and laughing so I knew she was ok. I also knew that Jake knew better than to actually get Bella wet. He did swing her around his back before finally holding her carefully in a bridal hold before bringing her back to me. He paused and said something that made her laugh and nod. He grinned at me and gave me a thumbs up before depositing her back on her feet and wrapping his arm around her waist as they approached. The parents were showing up about then so he didn't say anything.

"How much does he know?" I asked quietly as we headed over to the fire pit.

"Everything," she chuckled. "He saw the ring and guessed about the baby. He said I'm glowing." She beamed up at me and I grinned. She _was_ glowing. And I did that.

Esme's POV

Bella and Edward were smiling and talking quietly and I smiled up at Carlisle. They worked so well together, we had a hard time hiding our pleasure at how things were turning out. Bella looked up and smiled as we all approached the fire pit where the others had started a fire going.

Jake ran with an interesting crowd in high school. Most of them were in college, which was amazing for the area, but they were all impossibly tall and good looking boys. There were starting to be more girls in the mix, which I knew the parents were relieved their sons were starting to pair off and settle down. Emmett and Edward had been a handful, but from what I heard, the boys on the res were worse.

We settled on the driftwood logs we used as seating and dug in to the burgers and hot dogs that some of the women were passing around. Everything was excellent and Bella and Edward moved through the crowd with ease, knowing most of the kids almost as well as each other. I couldn't help but smile at the gentle way Edward kept putting his hand in the small of her back to guide her around, taking her hand to help her over the logs when needed.

After we ate, there was a quiet lull as everyone talked, waiting for the sky to completely darken. Bella and Edward moved towards the fire, smiles on their faces.

"Excuse me, we'd like to make an announcement," his bass rung out across the crowd, catching everyone's attention easily. It amazed me that he was able to do that.

Billy leaned over to us. "What's going on?"

Carlisle shrugged. "We're not sure either." He slipped his arm around me and looked at me expectantly. I shrugged too and we looked back at the kids.

Bella was visibly fighting emotion. Edward squeezed her arm and she smiled up at him. "You all know how hard the past couple of months have been for my family," she began, "and if we haven't said it, we appreciate every call, every card, every meal, every thought. You were all special to him and he loved coming out here almost as much as he enjoyed just fishing with Billy and Carlisle." She shot a grin in our direction and I swallowed against the lump in my throat and squeezed Carlisle's knee.

"That being said, Dad loved his kids very much and we wish he were here for a couple of reasons. First, Rose and Emmett are expecting their first child sometime around February." There was a scattering of applause and some hugs given by those in the immediate area around Rosalie. "Second, Edward and I are engaged."

I gasped and grinned at Carlisle excitedly. It was soon, but really, they knew each other better than most couples did.

Bella laughed and waved her hands for silence. "Incidentally, we're also pregnant, due the same time."

I almost fell of the log in my shock. Carlisle's arm was the only thing that kept me upright, really. He looked as stunned as I felt. Suddenly, Jasper was standing up.

"Alice is pregnant, too," he said sheepishly. "We Swans don't do anything half-assed."

Edward's POV

Dad grinned at me as we headed back to the cars. "Congratulations, son, though I wish you'd done one before the other."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, me too, but it'll all work out fine."

He raised his eyebrows. "Three pregnant women in one house? You are in for a world of hurt son."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "I know."

"Let me take care of that for you. Call it an engagement gift."

I looked at him confused. "What are you going to do, get us a port-a-potty?"

He laughed. "Charlie talked for years about adding a bathroom to that house. There's space in the yard if you put it off the living room. You could add another small room, too. Maybe use as an extra bedroom?"

I stared at him. "Seriously? Dad, that's incredibly expensive to rip off the side of the house and add on to it."

"Completely worth it for the sanity of my son." He grinned at me. "Let us do this for the family. They need a second bathroom in that house. Charlie should have done it years ago."

I grinned. "I'm not going to argue with you, but you get to convince Bella."

He grimaced. "Well, hopefully as the grandfather-to-be, she'll cut me some slack."

I clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't count on it."

***

Tali: Yes, as a child, I threw a hissy fit over having to grow up. I'm not proud of it, but it is quite amusing. Now. And creepy guys do like to hit on girls in hotels. Apparently, front desk agent is also known as "whore" or something. I had one guy try to get me to move to Salt Lake City and marry his brother, one who didn't date at all (traditional Indian) who wanted to take me out in spite of his arranged marriage, one who just wanted me to "come up to his room for a bit" and on and on. Ugh….I think it was worse when I worked housekeeping: once I was cleaning a room and the guy jumped in the shower and invited me to join him. I declined so he showered quickly then sat on the bed in just a towel and watched me finish up. *shudder* creepy creepy creepy.


	13. Chapter 13

Bella's POV

_"So, what are we doing for dinner?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead, Dad. Other than to find a pizza flyer."_

_He chuckled. "Then let me take you out, your last dinner before entering the big wide world of college."_

_I rolled my eyes, but I knew better than to turn down free food. Jazz crossed the room and leaned an arm on my shoulder. "I'm voting for Chinese buffet. I'm starving."_

_"Then buffet it is," Dad proclaimed. _

_I laughed and nodded. "I think I remember seeing one a few blocks from here." I led the way out of the dorm and down the hall. Dad reached over and put his arm around my shoulders. _

_"You know what?"_

_I rolled my eyes. I'd heard this a million times before and knew I'd hear it a million more times. "What?"_

_"I love you."_

_I grinned. "I love you too."_

_He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Jazz, you know what?"_

_"Chicken butt," Jazz grinned at us. _

_Dad laughed. "I love you, too, you knucklehead."_

_"Yeah yeah. Hurry up old man, I'm hungry."_

_I grinned as we headed to the restaurant. Dinner was nice, full of easy conversation, none of us discussing the impending separation. Afterwards, Dad drove back to the dorm and walked me to the door while Jazz crawled into the front seat and fiddled with the settings on the radio. _

_"You need any money?"_

_"I'm fine, Dad." I smiled up at him. "Thanks for everything."_

_He smiled and pulled me into a tight hug, holding on longer than usual. "You're my baby girl and you can call me anytime. You know that, right Bella?"_

_"I know."_

_He released me and stepped back, still holding on to me. "Do good."_

_I grinned. "Of course." _

_He kissed my forehead and turned to go. I watched him walk down the sidewalk before calling after him. _

_"Dad, you know what?"_

_He grinned as he turned around. "What?"_

_"I love you!"_

I couldn't believe it. I'm a grown-ass woman, 20 years old and engaged and I'm standing in the hall doing the pee-pee dance like a four year old. I pounded on the door again.

"Rose, for the love of God, hurry up," I called. Alice came out of the room she now shared with Jasper and yawned.

"Bathroom free?"

I shot her a look. "Back off, pixie. I'm about 2 seconds from peeing in the kitchen sink."

She looked at me startled, then grinned and headed back into her room. Rose took that moment to emerge, her face pale. I would have taken a moment to be concerned, but I knew it was morning sickness and my own fetus was demanding I pee immediately. I pushed past her and just made it.

There is nothing more wonderful than relieving and overly full bladder. Really, it was almost better than sex. Definitely better than some sex I'd had.

There was a tap on the door as I flushed. Edward stuck his head in. "Can I go real quick?"

"I think Alice gets next," I commented, washing my hands.

He made a face and came in anyway, peeing while I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. "We need another bathroom," he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "You're telling me. I tried to get Dad to add one for years. There's space in the yard if we put it off the living room. The house is paid off so he wouldn't have had trouble getting a loan. I'm not sure why he didn't." I turned to the side to regard myself. I had a tiny little bump, but it really just looked like I was bloated or didn't work out, not like I was actually pregnant. I sighed and stepped out of the way as Edward took over the sink.

"Well, why don't we add it now?" he asked carefully.

I looked at him with surprise. "Seriously? Because we don't have the money. All the insurance money is for living expenses like food and the bills. We'll get Dad's pension for a few years since he set that up for us in the event he died while we were minors, but Edward, there's no real money. Definitely nothing for anything fancy."

He rinsed his mouth and spit, turning to study me as he leaned one hip against the sink. "Dad offered to pay for it as an engagement gift."

I stared at him in shock. "Fuck me, really? I think I love your dad, maybe even a little more than I love you."

He laughed. "Gee, thanks."

I grinned. "I mean, sure, you gave me a beautiful ring and a baby but Edward" I walked over to him and put my arms around his neck "a bathroom is forever."

He threw his head back and laughed. "So that's a yes?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Oh most definitely. Otherwise we'd have to sell the house and buy something bigger and I don't want to sell Dad's house."

He kissed me lightly and pulled me against him. "Wanna save time and water and shower together?"

I laughed and nodded. "Sure, but we should let Alice pee first."

He rolled his eyes but exited the bathroom with me. Alice pushed past us and a moment later I heard her retching. I grimaced, grateful I'd gotten to skip that wonderful part of pregnancy and headed down to start coffee.

It had been a week since everyone moved in and so far, the biggest issue was scheduling bathroom time. Mainly in the mornings. I'd taken to getting up at 6 am everyday just so I could pee in peace. The other four fought over it whenever they got up and the rare weekend days I had off were going to be the pits when we all got up at the same time.

Edward followed me into the kitchen. Something was clearly on his mind but he wasn't talking yet. I didn't feel like talking at all so I just let him sit and germinate while I started the coffee and pulled out some things for breakfast.

"I've been thinking," he said finally, accepting the cup of coffee I handed him.

I raised my eyebrows. "Dangerous."

He grinned at me and reached for me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against him. "I think we should get married sooner rather than later."

"Before the baby's born, you mean."

He nodded. I stared out the window over the sink, thinking. Being engaged was great. I wasn't so sure about the whole getting married thing. It felt wrong to do it without Dad. I shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of my orange juice. "How soon are you thinking?"

"This weekend."

I nearly choked on my juice. "Are you out of your mind?" I demanded, looking down at him.

He frowned. "No. I've talked to your brothers and they both want us to use your grandparents' rings and the date is July 14. I think it'd be cool to get married on July 14."

I rubbed my temples as I sat down across from him. "You want me to plan and execute a wedding in five days."

"Something small. We can go to the JP and do something bigger later."

I rested my forehead on the table. "This growing up shit is the pits."

He laughed softly. "We don't have to, I just think it'd be cool."

I nodded. I definitely agreed with him, I just didn't know if I had the energy to do all this. I was exhausted from work and being on my feet 8 hours a day then coming home and being den mom to everyone. Turned out, Rosalie was a big ole baby when she didn't feel well, which was most of the time. Alice was terrified of making me angry which was really frustrating and annoying.

"What all do we have to plan anyway?" Edward was still talking. "I can just wear a suit, you wear a dress you've got, we'll get immediate family there, that's it, right?"

I shrugged. All the dreams I'd had as a kid involved Dad walking me down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. Obviously, neither of those were going to happen. "What about pictures?"

"We'll ask Jake to do that. He's pretty good, right?"

I nodded and rubbed one of the scratches in the table with my finger absentmindedly. "Flowers?"

"We can get them from the florist day of."

"Food."

"We'll take everyone out for dinner after."

I looked up and studied his face. "You've thought this through."

He grinned. "I know you, B. You wouldn't be you if you just accepted everything. I knew I had to come to you with this with a plan in mind."

I smiled in spite of myself. I rubbed at my eyes tiredly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill.

Suddenly, Edward's arms were around me and he was pulling me into his lap. I turned and pressed my forehead against his neck and closed my eyes. "It won't be the same."

"I know." He held me tightly. "We'll figure out a way to get him there, I swear."

I nodded and took a deep shuddering breath. "Then let's do it. You call your people, I'll call mine."

He pushed me back from him gently. "Really?"

I nodded. "Really." I smiled up at him. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I love you."

He grinned. He'd probably heard Dad say that a thousand times. I think he'd even been on the receiving end a time or two. He smoothed my hair back from my face and kissed me. "I love you, too."

Edward's POV

I glanced up at the clock, annoyed that I'd been on hold so long. I'd hoped that the calls I needed to make wouldn't take that long but damned if I wasn't still on hold for the restaurant where I wanted to do the dinner. I growled in frustration and snapped my phone closed. I couldn't hide out in the on-call room forever. I headed back out and into the relative quiet of the ICU.

Bridget looked up from the desk and smiled at me. "Your mom called a little while ago. She said something about she's got the food covered?"

I stared at her in confusion. "She's got the food covered?"

She shrugged. "That's what she said. She said you'd know what that meant."

I frowned, trying to figure it out when it hit. "Oh, she's got the food covered. Ok, great."

Bridget rolled her eyes at me. "That's what has been repeated about four times now, yes."

I grinned. "It's a family thing. I've been trying to get a party room for the past like, 20 minutes and everyone's booked up."

"Oh. Whatever." She shrugged and turned back to her paperwork. I headed off to complete my rounds.

I knew Bella's heart wasn't in this wedding. It was rushed, thrown together, and her father and older brother weren't going to be there. She didn't care if Renee was there ever, but the absence of Charlie and Emmett were hitting her hard. She was taking it a lot better than I thought she would, though anyone who knew her could see she was going through the motions.

Her insisting we store Rosalie's overflow in the music room scared me a little. She loved playing the piano, I couldn't remember her ever coming home and _not_ playing it. She hadn't even looked at it since the service and the door to the small music room was kept closed at all times unless Rosalie was in there digging something out.

The doctor in me kept an eye on her diet and sleeping habits and everything there seemed to be ok, but the lover in me noticed she had lost some of that spark she'd had before. She just didn't care anymore. She cooked because there was a houseful of people to feed. She cleaned because that household was messy. She slept and ate because she needed to and bathed because it was expected. Once in a while, the old Bella came through and she smiled and laughed and seemed like herself. The Fourth of July barbeque and her new job had really taken it out of her and the careful façade she had up for the world, including the family, was slowly starting to crack and slip. I was terrified what would happen to her if something else major happened to the family.

I headed home, driving down the quiet streets. Forks was a pretty peaceful town and I was glad I'd come home to start my practice with Dad. It was odd being the youngest doctor in town, but it worked for us. Everyone knew and loved Carlisle Cullen so they were willing to give his punk ass son a chance.

The lights were on in the house when I pulled in. Bella's truck was gone and I remembered then that in order to get the weekend off, she had to work a couple of evening shifts at the inn. I hate that since she dragged in close to midnight dead on her feet.

I headed inside and stopped with surprise when I smelled food cooking. Jasper and Alice were sitting in the living room watching a movie and Rosalie was nowhere to be seen. I looked at them expectantly. "Who's cooking?"

"Rosalie," Jazz whispered. "We're a little nervous."

I grinned. Rose was not known for her domestic abilities. She'd ruined a load of Emmett's clothes with bleach once and was infamous for burning everything. I headed towards the kitchen apprehensively. She was stirring something in a pot and humming softly.

"Cooking?"

She looked up at me and smiled. She really was beautiful, I could see what had initially attracted Emmett. The personality was a definite keeper, too. "I'm attempting to heat up something that Bella made earlier," she admitted. "So far so good. I only burned a little that I spilled on the burner."

I chuckled and started setting the table. "So how was today?"

"Good. A couple of contractors came by to look at building on to the house. Bella asked Alice and I to take care of that since she's working so much."

"If you don't mind, that'd be great," I nodded.

She grinned. "Are you kidding? It's like giving me a huge present. I love decorating and all that shit. Alice does, too, apparently. We picked a contractor after Bella left and got online and even picked some stuff out for the bathroom."

I grinned. "Sounds great. So what are we getting added on?"

She smiled. "Well, with our fabulous flirting abilities, Alice and I managed to get one of the contractors to give us a master suite for the price of a regular bathroom and extra room."

I raised my eyebrows. "A master suite?"

She nodded, clearly pleased with herself. "I'm going to chip in, so don't think we're taking advantage of Carlisle. Emmett and I already talked about this being part of our wedding gift to you. You need a proper room for the two of you, no more of that tiny little closet. I know Bella would feel weird moving into Charlie's room, so I figure a master suite on the first floor would be perfect."

I impulsively pulled Rosalie into a hug. "You're a great sister, no matter what they say."

She laughed and hugged me back. "Don't tell B just yet, though. We want it to be a surprise. She'll be preoccupied with everything else, I'm sure. All I have to do is gestate, she has to do that and work and take care of everyone, even though we insist that we can do it ourselves."

I grinned and pulled a beer out of the fridge. "I know. It's Charlie in her. He always insisted on taking care of everyone no matter what." I took a drink on it and sighed. "God I miss him."

She nodded and came over, wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning into me. "I miss him, too. I miss who they were, more though. They've all changed."

I nodded and hugged her back. We stood in silence for a moment before she pulled back to stir the soup.

"I have a dress for Bella, but I'm not sure if she'll wear it."

I raised my eyebrows. "What kind of dress is it?"

She grinned. "It's a beautiful white, flowy dress that will look amazing on her with her skin tone and dark hair. I'm afraid she'll pull that whole virgin bullshit on me and refuse to wear it."

I laughed. "Slip it into her closet and I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. If she gets pissed, it's from me. If she loves it, it's from you."

She grinned up at me. "You're currently my favorite brother-in-law."

***

Tali: My dad liked to tell his kids he loved them in unconventional ways. The "You know what" is something he did EVERY SINGLE DAY as a kid and every time I went home after moving out. It's how he'd end his phone conversations and tell me goodbye as I left. Once, I said "Chicken Butt" and he laughed and told me he loved me anyway. In fact, our last conversation was about a friend of his who was in the hospital here in Dallas. Dad was at a dinner thing with my parents' church and had to run, but his last words to me were "I love you baby girl." I will NEVER doubt my father's love for me and for that I am so thankful.

My little brother called him Old Man, and he would just laugh. Old to him was 20 years older than he was. And he told people he was "39 and some months."

And yes, I know that 25 is too young to be a full out doctor. I realize that he hasn't had time to do medical school and residency and what not. My parents are both doctors, so I'm well aware of the time it takes to do this. Just go with it, people.

Also, warning: I'm only about one chapter ahead of posting right now and I'm going out of town for the weekend to see my mom. She's always got TONS for us to do so I doubt I'll be able to do much, if any, writing this weekend. Plus, work is kind of busy. So...prepare yourselves for possible non-updating this weekend. :-)


	14. Chapter 14

Jasper's POV

_"Why do I have to have a practice date?," I demanded. "This is so weird, Dad."_

_Dad rolled his eyes at me. "You need to know how to treat women, son. You're 14 now and you'll soon be dating for real, so just be glad your sister is here to help teach you."_

_B stuck her tongue out at me from behind Dad's back. _

_"Bella, I saw that." _

_Her eyes widened. "Shit, how do you do that?"_

_"Language. You'll learn when you become a parent. Now, Jazz, you have just come to pick up your date, the lovely Bella." _

_B sat down in his chair and put her hands on her knees primly. I rolled my eyes and walked over to her. _

_"Offer her your hand to help her up." _

_I did and B took it, letting me lift her up from the chair. I grinned at her, pleased that I was finally eye-level with her. She rolled her eyes at me and we looked at Dad expectantly. _

_"Offer her your arm."_

_"Seriously?"_

_B laughed. "Dad, guys don't do that anymore. That's so old fashioned." _

_"My sons do it. Offer her your arm."_

_I sighed and held my arm out awkwardly. "Need an arm?"_

_She snickered and turned to Dad. "Ok, seriously Dad."_

_"What if the girl doesn't get what I'm asking?" I demanded. "What if she thinks I'm being stupid or something?"_

_Dad rolled his eyes and waved me aside. "Then this is what you do."_

_He stood next to B and smiled down at her. "Hey, you like chicken?"_

_B stared at him, clearly confused. "Um…yes?"_

_He jutted out his elbow. "Then take a wing."_

_She burst out laughing and slipped her arm through his, holding on with her other hand. He looked up at me triumphantly. "And that, my son, is that."_

I stood nervously in the little room where the wedding would be. The Blacks and Cullens were already here, sitting and talking quietly. Edward was talking with them, looking completely at ease. All the girls were still in the bathroom, doing whatever it was to get B ready. I was playing dual role of escort and best man since Emmett wasn't here and that terrified me. I had the box with the rings in my pocket…Dad's pocket. My suit didn't fit anymore so I was wearing one of Dad's. It was a little big, but B had said it looked good, so I guessed that was ok.

The door opened and Alice stuck her head in and smiled at me. "We're ready," she called.

Everyone moved into their positions. It was going to be a lot like a regular wedding apparently, with Jake taking pictures and Carlisle running a video camera in the back. I waved awkwardly and headed into the hallway.

Alice looked amazing in a floaty blue dress that showed off her legs. I grinned at her, suddenly shy. She smiled back and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before standing in front of the door and looking over her shoulder at the others.

Rosalie was in a nice looking red dress and B was in a white dress. I stared at her in some shock. Her hair was down, loose almost to her waist, with white flowers in it. The dress was off the shoulder and had tiny little sleeves and a fitted top that flared out down to her knees. She had some make-up on and just looked…amazing. I swallowed a lump in my throat and pulled her into a hug. She hugged me back tightly while the other slipped into the room, leaving us for a private moment.

"B, you look beautiful," I said quietly, my voice husky.

She smiled up at me, her eyes bright. "Stop it, you'll make me cry and ruin my make-up and Alice will kill you."

I grinned. "I can handle that." I reached over and moved a strand of hair that had gotten out of place, probably from my hug. "Dad would…" I stopped. We both knew Dad would have been proud and a little sad and overjoyed all at the same time. He would have had some words of wisdom to pass on but I had nothing.

She swallowed hard and nodded, a few tears spilling over to her annoyance. I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket and handed it to her. She laughed softly and carefully dabbed her eyes.

"One of Dad's?" she asked softly.

I nodded. She sighed and closed her eyes. "I will not sob today. I'll sob tomorrow. Today I'm getting married."

I grinned and we turned to face the door together. We stood in silence for a moment, thinking of those who couldn't be there.

"You know what, B?"

"What?" she looked up at me with a grin.

"I love you."

She grinned. "I love you too."

She looked like she was going to start crying so I said the next thing I thought of. "B?"

She just looked at me then.

"You like chicken?"

Jake's POV

Bells and Jazz came in with huge grins on their faces, laughing a little as they walked to the front. I raised my eyebrows at Bella but she just grinned at me. I took plenty of pictures, making sure I wouldn't miss a second of this.

It was a simple enough thing, a few words spoken, the rings exchanged, and they were man and wife. I didn't pay much attention to the words, focusing more on the pictures and how amazing Bella looked.

I'd seen her dressed up before, sure, but it had been a while. She'd grown up and into her looks and I had to admit, if I were the guy waiting for her at the other end of the aisle, I'd be hella intimidated. Edward, on the other hand, fucking beamed. He looked like he was going to burst with happiness. He took her hands and squeezed them tightly in his, not letting go through the whole service other than to slide the ring on her finger.

Esme wiped some tears from her eyes and I think even Carlisle and Dad got emotional. I refused to really listen to anything so I wouldn't get caught up in it. There'd be time for that later.

Afterwards, Edward dipped Bella back in a kiss straight out of a movie, hugging her tight against his chest. She laughed as he righted her and looked up at him with eyes so full of love it made me ache a little. There was no recessional, so they just turned to accept everyone's congratulations.

I still loved Bella, I realized with a pang. I hadn't ever really gotten over her. I dated in college, sure, but I guess in the back of my mind, I'd always kind of thought we'd get back together. I knew Edward was competition, but until very recently, he'd been married and she'd been dating the Douche. Now, my time had expired. I secretly wondered what would have happened if I'd been there the day of the service. Would she have asked me to stay the night instead? Would she be carrying my child and marrying me? I'd never know.

I forced all the thoughts out of my mind as Bella came over and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a hug and a quick kiss. "Thanks for being here and taking the pictures, Jake," she smiled up at me. "It wouldn't have been the same without you."

I grinned. "You say that now, just wait until you get my bill."

She laughed and squeezed me again before letting go of me and walking back towards Edward. We were all going to the Cullens' for dinner so we thanked the judge and headed out. I grinned when I saw all the couples grab hands. I may be single currently, but I could still appreciate the insane amounts of love around me.

"Looks like I got the best of the bunch," Rosalie grinned, coming over to walk with Dad and me. "Since Em isn't here, I get to be escorted by the incredibly good looking Black men."

Dad chuckled. "You sure you're up for that?"

"Hell yeah. I survive family holidays with Jazz and Emmett and Edward, I think you two will be a piece of cake." She linked her arm in mine and grinned. "Besides, I'm thinking Emmett probably intimidates Jake enough that he won't try anything stupid." She winked up at me as we reached the cars. She had a point, I would always be intimidated by Emmett.

Esme's POV

I bustled around the huge kitchen, thrilled for a chance to really use it. Since building such a huge house ten years ago, I only got to use the kitchen once or twice a year, if that, and I welcomed the opportunity to cook for Bella and Edward's wedding. I made everything I could remember the kids loving when they were kids and everything they loved now, along with some stuff for us older adults. There was plenty of beer and wine for the non-pregnant people and lots of water and juice for the girls.

I'd set the table with my best linens and china and crystal because if I wasn't going to use them now, then when?

I beamed when I saw Bella's look of amazement as she looked at the dining room overflowing with candle light and flowers.

"Oh Esme, you shouldn't have," she breathed, hugging me tightly.

I laughed. "Of course I did, you're my daughter now."

She smiled up at me. "You don't know how many times over the years I wished that were true. I'm so glad it is now."

I hugged her tightly, pleased with how she was starting to fill out some. I completely disagreed with modern weight ideals for women. Thankfully, all three girls seemed to be fairly confident of themselves and their weight so I didn't worry about them too much.

We all sat down and enjoyed the feast I had prepared. The girls ate almost as much as the boys, to everyone's surprise. There wasn't much left to clear away, though I boxed it up to send home with the kids.

I was headed back into the dining room where everyone was visiting when I heard something I thought I'd never hear.

"I can totally fit more marshmallows in my mouth than you," Rosalie scoffed. "I was the queen of Chubby Bunny when I was a kid."

"I beg to differ," Jasper shot back. "I'm bigger, hence I have a bigger mouth, hence I can fit more in."

"Hence? Who says hence anymore? I challenge you both to a marshmallow off!" declared Jake.

I stood in the doorway, staring at them in surprise. Bella was sitting in Edward's lap and they were both laughing. Alice was grinning and Carlisle and Billy were chuckling into their beers. Rosalie turned to me.

"Esme, do you have any marshmallows?"

I stared at them for a beat then started laughing myself. This was truly a Swan function. It wouldn't be complete without some kind of absurd food happening. Typically, it was cake smashed in someone's face, but Emmett and Edward had been very fond of eating contests as kids. It only proved that they were all family now if Rosalie was challenging Jasper and Jake was getting in on it. I shook my head and headed into the kitchen, returning with two bags of jumbo marshmallows. I plopped them down on the table and settled myself in Carlisle's lap to watch.

Alice jumped up and grabbed the bags, tearing the first one open and putting three in front of each competitor. She lobbed one to Bella who caught it and took a bite, a grin on her face.

"Before we begin, who's got the camera?" Alice began.

Jake held it up and Edward reached for it, a grin on his face. The three competitors were sitting beside each other across from Alice and the newlyweds. Alice and Jake had traded seats at some point, probably for better photography.

"Rules," Alice resumed, clearly enjoying her position as judge. "You may not chew or swallow until the end of the competition. You do not have to be able to close your mouth. You may not suffocate yourself to win."

I laughed at that. There were chuckles around the table.

"After you've stuffed in the first three, we'll continue one at a time until no one can do anymore. Got it?"

The competitors nodded.

"Then begin." She sat back down and Edward snapped a couple of pictures of them before they began and while they started to push the marshmallows in their mouths.

"Are you enjoying your job?" I asked Bella as the competition raged on. She extracted herself from Edward and moved to the seat next to me.

"It's fine. Obviously not what I want to do long term, but it's ok for now."

I nodded. "How are you handling being on your feet all the time?"

She chuckled. "Lots of foot rubs and baths. It's not just my feet that hurt, it's my hips and back and shoulders. I think it wouldn't be so bad if I were moving around more, but I start feeling like a caged tiger pacing back and forth behind the desk."

I nodded. "Does your doctor approve?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed softly. "Edward would rather I stay home, but I want to do something other than sit and dwell. Plus, he shouldn't have to support all of us."

I smiled. There was that fierce Swan independence. I would bet that if they won the lottery and were independently wealthy, Bella would still want to have a job and be doing something.

We chatted for a while as the contest continued. I think it finally ended when Jake choked on a marshmallow and Jasper sprayed goo across the table in laughter. Rosalie raised her hands in the air triumphantly as she managed yet another marshmallow in her mouth.

The boys rolled their eyes as they started chewing and swallowing the sticky mess. Jasper sheepishly started to wipe up the mess he'd made, shooting me apologetic looks. I laughed and waved him off. I'd had boys in the house enough to know how to clean up after them. Even marshmallow goo.

***

Tali: My dad took me on a Daddy/Daughter date when I was about 15 so I would know what a real date was like and how I should be treated. We went and played putt-putt, went to eat, and saw a movie. At the end of it, he joked that I wasn't a cheap date and then got serious and said I should never let anyone treat me like a cheap date and that any guy who didn't want to spend the money on me wasn't worth my time.

Right before we walked down the aisle, I was emotional because my older brothers had both come to give me one last hug, tell me they love me and tell me how beautiful I was. My dad and I were alone in the back with just the wedding person to open the doors for us and I was taking deep breaths to calm down and he looked down at me and asked me if I liked chicken. I had no clue what he was talking about but said yes. He stuck out his arm and told me to take a wing so I was laughing as we walked down the aisle. He was so proud and happy and more than one person told me that he was just floating down the aisle with me on his arm. The pictures and video show a huge goofy grin on his face and I miss that grin so much….ok, stopping now while I can still see the screen.

Also, the marshmallow scene is a total homage to a favorite story my dad would tell about me as a baby when I kept stuffing mini-marshmallows in my mouth but not eating them. There's a picture that we displayed at my wedding that's actually pretty cute: little 6 month or so old me, sitting at an angle in a high chair, holding on with both hands, a red bib ruffled up around my chin, my mouth oozing marshmallow goo. They like to say I was foaming at the mouth.


	15. Chapter 15

Bella's POV

_Jake groaned softly and rested his forehead on mine for a moment before rolling over beside me on the bed. He pulled me against his chest and sighed softly. _

_"That was amazing."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Of course you would think so."_

_"You didn't?" he sounded slightly hurt. _

_I grinned and shifted on the bed to kiss him lightly. "It was good for me, too. I just like to tease you a little."_

_He made a face at me and pulled me against him again, rolling over on top of me and kissing me. I kissed him back for a second before pushing him up. _

_"We need to get dressed. Dad will be home soon." _

_He nodded and pulled away from me, grabbing his boxers off the floor. We dressed quietly, exchanging looks once in a while. He had a huge goofy grin on his face and it made me laugh in return. When we were done, we headed downstairs and settled on the couch to watch a movie. _

_Before too long, the movie was forgotten and his hands were under my shirt. We were stretched out on the couch, me under him, my leg wrapped around his hips. He moved against me and groaned softly into my mouth. I laughed softly and lifted my hips against his. _

"_Bella, Jake, on your feet!"_

_We leapt off the couch, my face immediately burning scarlet. We hadn't heard Dad come in and I was terrified of what would come next. _

I yawned and looked around the room. It was nice, probably the nicest room Forks had to offer. I was just relieved it wasn't the Dew Drop Inn. Edward had picked a B&B for our honeymoon weekend and it was a relief that it wasn't too far from home.

There was a giant king sized bed with an old fashioned floral comforter on it. Across from the bed was a large flat screen TV and in the corner was a huge jetted tub. The corner next to it was a giant fireplace.

Edward dropped our bags on the small couch in front of the fireplace and pulled me into a hug. "How are you, Mrs. Cullen?"

I laughed. "God, Mrs. Cullen. That sounds so old. Plus, that's your mom."

He grimaced. "Ok, so not Mrs. Cullen. Just Bella Cullen."

I grinned and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him. "Well, whatever I'm called, I'm good. Exhausted, but good."

"Do you feel up to a soak in the tub?"

I looked at it, then at the bed. I was so ready to sleep since I'd been up until 2 am the night before then up again at 5 to work the morning shift at the hotel. But I had to admit, a soak in the tub sounded pretty good.

I turned and lifted my mass of hair. "Unzip me?"

"With pleasure." He gently pulled the zipper down, pausing to trail kisses down my bare back as he did so. The dress dropped to the floor and I stepped out of it, turning to face Edward. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me back against him, kissing my neck when I was flush against him. I sighed softly and turned my head to give him better access.

"I think we should start the tub filling before we forget."

He nodded and kissed me one last time, definitely making me in need of a change of panties. I grinned as he moved across the room and turned on the water in the tub. I watched as he poured some bubble bath in, filling the room with a wonderful scent that I couldn't quite place. I picked up my dress and draped it over the back of a chair and wandered over to a small wet bar area.

"From all of us, with love," I read out loud, picking up a card I found on the counter. I looked at Edward. "What's this for?"

He frowned and came over, untucking his shirt as he walked. I handed him the card and opened the little refrigerator and smiled. There was a bottle of sparkling white grape juice, some chocolate covered strawberries, cheese and crackers, and what looked like a small summer sausage. I grinned as I pulled the grape juice out, leaving the food in the fridge. We were still stuffed from Esme's so that could keep until tomorrow. I then noticed a huge basket sitting on a little table behind the door. I took Edward's shirt that he'd now discarded and pulled it on, a little cold in the refrigerated night air. He was looking at the food in the fridge while I poked through the basket.

I pulled out a book and started laughing. I held it up to Edward and his eyebrows shot up. "Pregnant sex tips?"

I laughed and nodded, handing it to him. "Had to be Rose." I turned back to the basket and pulled out a box of flavored body paints, two champagne flutes that looked like actual crystal, scented candles, another book of sex games, a bedside copy of the Kama Sutra, fuzzy handcuffs, some dice with interesting suggestions on one and positions on the other, massage oils and I wasn't even to the bottom. I laughed and shook my head. "We would have to be holed up in here for weeks to use all this shit."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck again. "I could totally arrange for that."

I grinned. "Oh, that'd be wonderful, but real life awaits us outside this wonderful room." I kissed him back. "Let's take a bath and then get to bed."

He grinned and scooped me up, carrying me over to the tub that had finally filled up. I smiled when I saw the two glasses of juice sitting on the edge. He put me on my feet and I dropped the shirt and my panties and clipped up my hair. I carefully stepped into the hot water, sighing contentedly as I relaxed into the water. Edward dropped his boxers and joined me, sitting across from me in the big tub. He handed me a glass before settling back against the side of the tub.

"So, overall, how would you say you're doing?"

I took a sip and set the glass down carefully. "I'm fine."

"B."

I sighed. "How am I supposed to be doing? I knew I'd be home this summer, but I didn't think I'd be playing the role of surrogate mother to Jazz and Rose and wife to you and incubator to a lima bean."

He laughed and shifted in the tub, pulling me into his lap, his legs spread on either side of me. I rested against his chest as he lightly rubbed my arms. "Lima bean?"

"That's what it looks like currently. Or a sea monkey. Or an alien. Or a parasite."

He laughed harder, leaning down and kissing my ear. "I think lima bean is probably best."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against his chest. It didn't take long before I fell asleep.

Edward's POV

Well, this was definitely not how I'd expected my wedding night with B to go. I couldn't be too upset, though, she'd only gotten three hours of sleep the night before and had been dragged down to the courthouse straight from work to have the wedding before they closed at 5. Then dinner and everything at Mom's had dragged on for a while.

She slept against me in the tub lightly. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tightly so she wouldn't fall sideways. I was in a bit of a pickle, to be honest. How to get her out of the tub and into the bed without her waking up. Or falling while doing so. I really didn't want to go to the ER on my wedding night; that was something I'd never live down. I finally sighed and shook her slightly. Pulling her into my lap had definitely made this difficult. She shifted and sighed, sitting forward.

"Bedtime now?"

I nodded and carefully slid her away from me. I stood up and climbed out, wrapping a towel around my waist then holding out a hand for B. She took it and let me lift her out of the tub. She leaned against me and I wrapped a second towel around her. I chuckled softly and picked her up again and tucked her into the big bed. I crawled in on the other side and pulled her against me, letting her sleep. There'd be time for other stuff later.

Bella's POV

After a much too short two days, we were heading home. Edward's hand was on my thigh as he drove and I grinned. He'd quite enjoyed himself these past two days, I knew, but the horny teenage boy in him would probably never be satisfied.

We pulled up at the house and my jaw dropped. Apparently while we'd been gone, they'd ripped off the side of the house for the addition. I climbed out and walked around into the yard to look at the progress.

Some wooden outlines were already in place, showing that the addition was going to be much, much larger than originally anticipated. I'd given over all control of that to the girls so I shrugged it off. Rosalie and Alice were standing in the hole grinning like idiots at me. I rolled my eyes and walked back around the house and inside. Edward had already gone in and was taking our stuff upstairs. Alice and Rosalie practically threw themselves at us.

"So how was it?" demanded Rose with a huge grin as she dragged me into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. "It was great."

"And?"

I looked at Alice, my eyebrows raised. "Kid, you're 15. You don't get to hear about my sex life."

She frowned. "I'm already pregnant, though. Maybe I want ideas."

I made a gagging noise. "No. No ideas for you and sex with my brother."

She giggled softly and shrugged. "I'll just borrow your book."

This time the gagging wasn't completely fake. Rose waved her hand dismissively. "So we'll talk sex later. How was everything else?"

I raised my eyebrows at her. "We had two days. What else was there?"

She laughed. "Food, relaxing, sleeping."

I sighed. "The sleeping was amazing. Edward is really good with his hands and he gave me some phenomenal massages. Thanks for the basket by the way. We used almost everything in it."

Rose grinned at me. "Some of that was Emmett's idea. The rest Alice, Jazz, Jake and I went and picked up."

I raised my eyebrows. "Jake picked out stuff?"

She nodded. "He actually grabbed the massage oils. Said you loved massages."

I smiled softly. "Yeah, he would know. He's really good with his hands, too."

Alice leaned forward, suddenly interested. "So you and Jake?"

"Ages ago. Long over."

She nodded. "So how many guys have you been with, Bella?"

I stared at her. "Seriously? No more hanging out with Rose."

She grinned at me. "Maybe I've always secretly been like this and hanging around with you all has given me the courage to let my freak flag fly."

I laughed. "I've only been with three guys: Jake, Mike, Edward. You?"

"Just Jazz." She smiled dreamily. "I hope he's it forever."

We looked at Rose and she sighed. "Four. No names, just four."

"Not too shabby. Not enough to make you a slut, anyway."

"Who's a slut?" asked Edward, finally entering the kitchen in his search for us. He leaned down and kissed me lightly.

"No one. We were comparing our numbers. What's yours?"

He made a face. "Do I really have to say?"

My jaw dropped. "You're totally a man-whore!"

He laughed. "No, I just don't like thinking of anyone before you." He winked at me and I made the gagging noise again.

"So what's for dinner now that B's back?" demanded Jazz as he joined the group.

Everyone looked at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes and stood up. "How's spaghetti sound?"

Edward's POV

Bella moved around in our small room, humming softly as she put things away. I grinned from my position on the bed, pretending to read a book. Her hair was pulled back in some kind of messy mass that I was clueless how it was actually staying up and she was wearing a light white cotton nightgown that barely reached her knees. It was something I'd never pick out for her as her personal style, but it looked good on her.

She paused in front of her jewelry box and stared down into it for a moment before reaching in and picking something up. She held it in her hand for a long time before she finally crossed the room and sat on the bed next to me. I put my book down and studied her face.

She was crying silently, her fist clenched around whatever she'd picked up.

"B?"

She looked up at me and gave me a wobbly smile. "I found something Dad gave me a few years ago."

I leaned forward and reached for her. She let me pull her against me and wrap my arms around her for a bit before she sat up.

"Once, Dad came home and caught me and Jake making out on the couch. He didn't realize he'd basically just walked in on us having sex, though he did that a couple weeks later." She flushed slightly at the memory. "But that first time he walked in, he sent Jake home and sat down and talked to me and gave me this." She opened her fist and in her palm was a small gold key shaped somewhat like a skeleton key with a heart as the top ring. She studied it for a moment before continuing.

"Dad told me that this symbolized the key to my heart, as corny as it sounds. He said I shouldn't give it to anyone who didn't deserve it. The man who I gave this to needed to be one who'd guard my heart and protect it. I think you will take care of it." She sat for a moment and then smiled. "I know it's corny, but its part of Dad, you know? Plus, someday when we have a daughter, you can pass it on to her."

I pulled her against me and kissed her as she cried against me. I rubbed her back and took the key, touched by the gesture. I put it on my nightstand, determined not to lose it, and pulled B down on the bed next to me. I reached up and turned off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. We lay in quiet for a while until B was fast asleep.

***

Tali: No, my dad never walked in on me in a compromising position, though my roommate once did. *cringe* And, despite a lot of movies to the contrary, a LOT of newlyweds just sleep on their wedding night. Or, at least nap. hehe A wedding and everything that goes into it are EXHAUSTING. I actually cried I was so tired.

The key to her heart is straight up something my dad did. He told me "Dad's are a daughter's first love" and that no one was really deserving of my heart in his opinion, but I had the key and I could give it to whomever. He just requested that it be a husband and not some loser. I found it a couple of weeks after my dad died. I still hadn't given it to my husband after a year of marriage, but it was because I'd actually forgotten all about it. I cried when I found it and took it to him, telling him how I'd come to have it. I hang on to it because he loses EVERYTHING (seriously, we look for his phone about once a day) and one day, he'll pass it on to our daughter.


	16. Chapter 16

Bella's POV

_I stared at the numbers on the page but they'd long since ceased to make sense. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Still nothing. I groaned and sat back, glancing at the clock on the microwave. _

_"Ang, it's 3 in the fucking morning. I give up."_

_She lifted her head from the other side of the table. "We can't give up. We have a final tomorrow at 8 am and we have to know this shit."_

_I dropped my head back on the table and hit it there a few times. "I don't get it," I wailed, my voice muffled by the book my face was pressed against. "I don't have a math or science brain. I'm much more adept at words and shit."_

_She sighed and I heard a soft thunk as her head hit the table. "Why the fuck did we sign up for Pre-AP Physics again?"_

_"Because we're stupid?"_

_"Must be."_

_We sat in silence for so long, I was convinced she'd fallen asleep. I lifted my head and saw she was still awake, staring into space. I rubbed my face and stood up to start a fresh pot of coffee. Sleep could come later: we still had three chapters to get through in the next five hours. Luckily, the final after physics was English and we were both rock stars in that class. I loved that we'd managed to get about half of our classes together for our last semester of high school. I hated that one of our parents' stipulations on that was that we take as many pre-AP and AP classes as possible since we'd be doing all our homework together anyway. Jerk-faces. _

_"Bella?"_

_I turned and saw Dad in the doorway, squinting at me. His hair was all over the place. "What are you still doing up?"_

_I gestured to the table and the nearly catatonic Angela. "Studying. Physics is killing us, Dad."_

_He chuckled softly and sat in my seat, flipping through my book for a moment. "This isn't too bad. Need some help?"_

_I stared at him. "Not too bad? Are you kidding me? I think Mr. Riley is out to get us."_

_Dad laughed at that. "Physics is pretty simple if you understand a few key things. Here, let me help."_

_I handed him the first cup of coffee, gave the second to Angela, and took a third for myself. We spent the next two hours going over some things and while it didn't all suddenly make sense, I did understand enough that I was pretty sure I'd be able to pass. By 5 am, Angela was curled up under the table, fast asleep. Dad and I sat in silence while I worked another practice problem. I slid my paper across the table to him and he looked over it and beamed at me. _

_"You got it! See, I knew you could do this, Bella."_

_I rolled my eyes. "I'm just hoping I can remember enough to get through the test. I plan on forgetting everything the second I step foot out the door."_

_He laughed and started to straighten up the table. "You do take after you mom in that you're better with words than numbers." _

_I studied him. "How come you know this stuff anyway?"_

_"I was a physics major in college."_

_My jaw dropped. "You went to college?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "You know I did. That's where I met Renee."_

_I grinned. "Oh, right. I'm sleep deprived, don't judge me."_

_He laughed and rinsed our mugs out. "I wanted to be a physicist after I graduated but your mom came along and then there was Emmett and it just didn't happen." He shrugged. I knew he didn't regret any of us, but it was interesting to hear about the life we'd stymied. _

_He sat back at the table and smiled at me. "Mr. Riley definitely had it in for Emmett when he took his class. Some of that may be residual, sorry to say."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Stupid Emmett and Edward and their stupid pranks. I wonder what they did to him."_

_Dad laughed. "I'm not sure myself. Whatever it was, they didn't get caught because I wasn't informed, though I did hear about his office being tied up in such a way that he couldn't get into it."_

_I smiled. "Sounds like them."_

_"So are you ready for tomorrow?" he asked after a beat._

_I nodded. "I think so. I mean, I have to be right? Tomorrow is in three hours."_

_He grinned. "You'll be great, Bella. You always are. You always know what to do and you always do the right thing."_

_I frowned, not sure what that had to do with physics. _

_He laughed softly and squeezed my hand. "I'm sleep deprived. Don't judge me."_

I yawned and checked my watch for the umpteenth time. My relief would be here in 15 minutes, thank God. My feet were killing me. I stretched a little, raising my arms above my head and looking around for something to do. I'd already cleaned the back office and behind the desk, all my paperwork was done, I'd dropped my deposit for the shift, and I hadn't seen a guest in over an hour. I was so bringing a book for tomorrow night.

"Hi, Bella."

I groaned inwardly and pasted another smile on my face. "Hey Bernard," I greeted the creepy guy from July 4th. "How's it going?"

He shrugged and leaned one side against the desk, a beer in one hand. "Not too bad. My project got extended."

"Until when?" I asked, pulling up his folio on the computer.

"Probably mid-September sometime. Can you extend my stay?"

I smiled. "Of course, not a problem." I typed for a second and then looked up. "Done."

"Great, thanks." He grinned at me and turned, leaning against the desk with both arms now. "So when do you get off?"

"At 11."

"You have any plans?"

I shuddered internally. "Bed," I laughed easily. "I'm exhausted."

He grinned. "Need a bed partner?"

"I think my husband would disapprove of anyone else taking that position."

He straightened up, looking slightly startled. "You're married?"

I nodded and held out my left hand as proof. "Three weeks now."

He looked a little annoyed at that. "I've been here a month now and you're just now telling me you're married? Next thing you'll say you're pregnant."

I grinned. "And circle gets the square." Maybe my being married and knocked up would be enough to get him to leave me alone.

He studied me for a beat. "So, whenever your husband isn't around, maybe we can get dinner or something."

Unbelievable. "Well, I'm also guardian for two 15 year olds and babysitter for my 23 year old sister in law. Lots of people are always around."

"So wouldn't you like a night out to yourself?"

Seriously? What the hell? "I'll have time for that later," I grinned. "My in-laws live here in town and I know they'll be eager to baby-sit."

He nodded, still looking somewhat determined. To my complete relief, the night auditor, Rich, came in just then. I could have kissed him. His eyes darted between Bernard and I and he quirked one eyebrow before coming around the desk.

"Hey Bernie," he said in a much more friendly tone than I was using. "Up late again?"

I ducked into the back to grab my stuff and punch out. I'd written everything in the Pass-On Log, so there wasn't much for us to discuss. I hung out in the back for a bit, waiting for Bernard to leave. Rich finally stuck his head in the back and grinned at me.

"I think you're safe for now."

I shook my head and shouldered my purse. "Seriously, I told him I'm married AND pregnant and he was still hitting on me."

Rich laughed. "Well, he's determined. You're one hot little mama."

I made a rude gesture and headed towards the door. "Nothing to pass on that's not in the log. See you tomorrow night."

Rosalie's POV

I was sitting on the couch watching TV when Bella got home. She looked exhausted and there were dark circles under her eyes. She smiled when she saw me and plopped down next to me on the couch.

"There are some freaky assholes out there."

I grinned. "What happened tonight?"

She quickly filled me in on Bernard, her current fan at the inn. There had been a few others who'd hit on her, but usually when she mentioned Edward or the baby, they'd back off. She'd finally pulled out the big guns tonight and apparently the guy was still interested. I wondered what it was about pregnant women that attracted the guys. Our guys, I could kind of understand: it was their kid in there, but Bernard?

I'd met him once when I'd gone to pick up Bella from work one Saturday afternoon when Jake was working on the truck. He'd hit on me mercilessly, even after I'd flashed the ring and put my hand on my belly. I was looking forward to showing if it meant the creepy guys hitting on me stopped. Really, I was hoping it stopped before Emmett got home. He was a tad bit jealous and I worried about his reaction to the shameless flirting that followed me everywhere.

We sat in silence for a while, watching TV and just enjoying each other's company. After a little while, I could tell from Bella's breathing that she was asleep. I shook my head and went upstairs. Edward always waited up for her, though he wouldn't admit it. I opened the door to their room and poked my head in. For all the world, he looked like he was fast asleep.

"Edward, its Rosalie."

He rolled over and looked at me instantly concerned. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine. Bella fell asleep on the couch downstairs."

He shook his head and climbed out of the bed. "She too tired to come up?"

I nodded and led the way back down to the living room. There was a light breeze ruffling the heavy plastic over the hole. Bella had curled up around the arm of the couch and was fast asleep, her lips parted slightly.

"I wish she'd quit that damn job," Edward muttered as he carefully lifted her off the couch. "It just wears her out."

"She's too independent, let her be."

He sighed and headed upstairs. "G'night Rose."

"G'night."

Edward's POV

I was drinking my coffee when B surfaced the next morning, her hair tousled and her skin a little paler than normal. I studied her over the rim of my cup before setting it down.

"Morning."

She grunted in response and poured herself a glass of juice. She slumped into a seat across from me and stared at the table without seeing it.

"You don't have to be at work until 3, go back to bed, babe."

She shook her head and took a sip. "Stuff to do."

"Like what?"

"Cooking, cleaning."

I sighed. "B, we can do that. You sleep."

She shook her head. "You don't clean it right and none of you can cook worth a damn."

"Then let me hire someone to help out."

"And waste the money? No."

"Then quit your job."

She glared at me. "You are not the head of this family, Edward, I am. I am the new Chief Swan, though not in the whole 'police chief' way. You do not get to dictate my life just because you knocked me up and married me."

I sat back, a little stunned at that. "I'm just trying to help."

"I haven't asked for it, now have I?"

"Bella, you can't take everything on yourself. You need to rely on other people to help here. If it was one or two things you were dealing with, I know you could do it, but there's so much more going on and you won't let us help with hardly anything."

"You want to help?" she demanded. "Fine. Make it all go away. Make my father be alive. Make my mother be a mom. Make Emmett be home." She slammed her glass down, sloshing juice on the table and stalked out of the kitchen. I sat there, completely stunned now. A moment later, I heard the door to our room slam shut.

"I thought she was doing better."

I looked up at Jazz standing in the doorway. I sighed and grabbed a napkin to wipe up the spill. "So did I."

Jazz sat down in the seat B had just vacated and studied the table. "This would all be easier if I weren't here."

I looked at him sharply. "Whatever the hell you're thinking about saying you'd better not. B needs you, in some ways more than she needs or wants me. You're her brother and she loves you. Right now, she probably loves you more than me."

He ran his hands through his hair and held his head in his hands, still staring at the table. "Alice and I have been talking about becoming emancipated. We could move out then, get jobs and an apartment. It'd be easier around here."

"Stop it. Right now. Things will be fine. We just have to figure out normal again and go from there."

Jazz didn't look up and now I wanted to throw something. These damn Swans were so moody.

Alice's POV

I heard a door slam a few moments after Jazz left and I poked my head out of our room. The bathroom was open and Rosalie's was closed so it must have been Bella or Edward. I could hear the soft rumble of boy voices downstairs so my guess was Bella. I stood uncertainly before crossing the hall to her room. I tapped quietly.

"Go away, Edward, I don't want to talk to you."

I opened the door and poked my head in. "It's me, Alice."

She sighed and rolled over. "What is it?" she sounded more tired and discouraged than angry so I walked in, closing the door behind me.

"Is everything ok?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sure."

"I don't believe you."

She sat up and studied me. "Perceptive, aren't you pixie?"

I grinned and sat on the bed across from her. "Want to talk about whatever's going on?"

She hugged her knees and studied me for a minute. "If you could change the fact that you were pregnant, would you?"

I blinked, surprised. "You want to get an abortion?"

She shook her head. "No, that's not it. I just…I sometimes think things would be easier if I weren't pregnant, if you weren't pregnant, if Emmett was around…that sort of thing."

"Edward's here, though. I know it's not the same, but he's really trying."

She sighed. "I know."

We sat in silence for a bit. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing great, Bella. I'm not sure I'd be so…together, if it were me. I'd fall to pieces if my dad died." I felt a lump in my chest just thinking about it. "You've been so strong for everyone and I really admire that. I hope I can be like that someday."

She smiled at me. "You think I'm together? Shit, Alice, I feel like I'm held together with bubblegum and wishes." She rubbed her face. "Maybe Edward's right, maybe I do need to give up more responsibilities to you."

"I can cook," I offered. "I'm not fantastic, but I can follow a recipe without burning anything."

She chuckled softly. "You don't mind cooking for five people on a daily basis?"

I shrugged. "I'll make Jazz help me."

She nodded, the smile still on her face.

"Plus, he's wanting to get a job as soon as he turns 16 next week."

Her eyes widened. "Shit, I totally forgot his birthday was next week. What does he want?"

I shrugged. "A license and a job, mostly."

She grinned. "I can definitely help with those. I saw that the sporting goods store across from the inn is hiring."

"He'd love that," I grinned enthusiastically.

"When's your birthday, Alice?" she asked suddenly.

I grinned. "Not until April."

She nodded and sighed. "Well, I'm going to take a nap. If you see Edward, let him know I'm just…I don't know, hormonal?"

I laughed. "Will do." I squeezed her hand and left the room.

***

Tali: I absolutely DETESTED physics in high school and seriously, the only reason I passed was because my teacher was a dick who didn't care and didn't really check our work and because my dad had a master's degree in physics. He basically did my homework for me. (Don't judge. Mr. E was an ass.) My best friend in high school and I pulled all nighters the night before our physics final exams and still barely scraped by. I didn't pull all nighters to study in college, even, so that's saying something. In my life, the three or four all nighters I've had were mostly fun related except two in the fall of 2000 and the spring of 2001. My dad offered to help, I think, but I'm pretty sure we said no because I remember lots of snacks and a movie in the background as we camped out in my giant ass room at 4 in the morning, proclaiming we were going to commit suicide if we had to take another physics class in our lives. Thankfully, I have not had to do either.


	17. Chapter 17

Bella's POV

_"Ok, Little B. You, as the newbie, get to clean the bathrooms."_

_I rolled my eyes and grabbed the mop bucket, pushing it towards the two bathrooms in the front of the store. I knocked on the men's room door and pushed it open. My eyes widened at what I saw. _

_The walls, the floor, fuck, even the ceiling were splattered with shit. I dropped the handle of the mop and backed out slowly. _

_"No fucking way."_

_"Why, what's wrong in there? It's just a men's room." James pushed past me to look. "Holy mother of god. What the hell? On the ceiling? How do you shit on the ceiling?" _

_He came out and looked at me, a little terrified. "Ok. We'll do it together." _

_I whimpered. "Can't we just throw a bomb in there or something?"_

_He chuckled. "That'd be awesome, but no. We can't. We have to" he shuddered "clean it."_

_He poked his head into the women's room and looked at me. "Much better. You get this one real quick while I go get some gear from the back and we'll hit the men's together."_

_I sighed and nodded. It really didn't take long to clean the single room bathroom and sanitize the changing station. I heard periodic exclamations as other closers checked out the men's room. By the time I was done with the women's, James had returned. _

_His long blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail and stuffed under a hair net and he was wearing a trash bag he'd cut arm and neck holes in. He wordlessly handed me another one that I quickly pulled on. I tied my own hair back and pulled on a hair net that he handed me. We both pulled on hazmat gloves and stepped in to the bathroom. We looked around for a moment, flabbergasted as to where exactly to begin. I sighed and climbed up on the toilet lid carefully and started spraying the ceiling while James worked on the walls. _

_We worked methodically and silently, spraying and scrubbing until I thought my arms were going to fall off. It took about two hours, but we finally had a sparkling clean bathroom. I wiped my arm across my forehead to get some hair out of my face exhaustedly. _

_James looked up then and grinned at me. "You've got a little something on your forehead, Bella."_

_I felt the blood drain out of my face. "I just wiped shit across my face didn't I."_

_He grinned and nodded. I couldn't help it, I started dancing in place. "Get it off, get it off!"_

_He crossed the small room quickly and reached up with a damp paper towel and carefully wiped my forehead. He smiled down at me. "You're fine now. Calm down."_

_I shuddered. "Oh I'm going to be sick. This has got to be the worst thing ever."_

_He chuckled. "The job will get better, I swear." _

_I suddenly realized he was still holding me, his hands warm against my arms, even through the gloves and the trash bag. My breath hitched as he leaned in and kissed me lightly. I closed my eyes, kissing him back for a moment before pulling away and looking up at him. _

_"James, we can't."_

_He nodded. "I just wanted to see what it would be like."_

_I smiled and stepped back a couple steps. I looked around the bathroom to see if I'd missed anything. I spied the changing station and I grimaced, heading over to it. I opened it carefully and gasped. _

_It was stuffed full of porn magazines. I grimaced and picked one up between two fingers. The pages didn't all open. I felt like I was going to throw up. _

_"Ok, that's the cherry on the shit sundae," James muttered, grabbing another trash bag and scooping everything into it. We sanitized the shit out of the changing station and then left. _

_I was thoughtful as I drove home. Dad was always up waiting for me, wanting to know how my day had been. What the fuck was I supposed to say about this? I sighed as I pulled into the drive. First jobs were typically shit, that's what everyone said. Just turned out mine was literally shit. _

I paced nervously. Alice was sitting in one of the hard plastic chairs flipping boredly through a fashion magazine. Well, she was giving the appearance of boredom. I was pretty sure she was as nervous as I was.

"Sit down, Bella. You're making me nauseous."

"I'm making you nauseated," I corrected absentmindedly as I sat down.

She looked at me with confusion. "What?"

I sighed. "Its misuse has led the word nauseous to mean the same thing as nauseated, but originally it meant something that caused nausea. I was making you nauseated, not nauseous."

"Whatever. Your pacing makes me want to vom."

I grinned and leaned back. "Learning anything interesting?" I asked, gesturing towards the magazine.

She shrugged. "Not really. It's a couple months old. I read this one already."

We sat in companionable silence for a bit before the door in the back opened and Jazz came in, a triumphant grin on his face. We jumped up, smiling like lunatics at him as he picked up Alice and twirled her around in a circle. "I passed!" he shouted excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't really thought he wouldn't, but I was relieved that he had and we had another driver in the house. He released Alice and grabbed me, spinning me around, too. I laughed and hugged him back.

"Want to drive home?" I teased.

"Fuck yeah. Can we stop at the store first and check my hours for next week?"

"Surely." I grinned and linked my arm in his while Alice grabbed the other one and we headed to the parking lot. I climbed into the backseat of Edward's car while they took the front. I enjoyed stretching out across the seat while he drove carefully. I closed my eyes and let the rocking of the car lull me to sleep.

Edward's POV

I grinned when I saw the car pull up and Jazz behind the wheel with Alice in the passenger seat. I gave him a hug as he climbed out, looking triumphant and pumped. I remembered getting my license and how excited I'd been.

"You still have to ask before you take the car," I grinned at him.

He rolled his eyes. "I would have anyway, since I don't have my own car."

I raised my eyebrows and held up the keys to the truck. "Are you sure about that?"

He stared at them, confused for a second. "Those are Bella's keys."

I nodded. "Yes. She's got a new car now so you get the truck."

His eyes widened. "Shit, really?"

I nodded and he let out a loud whoop, startling Rosalie and Alice who were standing on the steps behind me. Jazz took the keys from me and bounded over to the truck, climbing in and adjusting the mirrors. I looked around and frowned when I didn't see B. I looked up at Alice and Rosalie but they'd headed back inside already. I wandered over to my car and peaked inside, grinning when I saw her curled up on the back seat.

I carefully opened the door and unbuckled her, pulling her into my arms awkwardly before heading inside. She curled against me in her sleep and sighed softly.

"Hi Dad," she breathed.

I almost missed a step. I stared down at her. "B," I said gently. "B, wake up."

Her eyes opened slowly and she looked at me for a beat without comprehension. Then her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. She pressed her face against my arm and I hugged her tighter against me.

"I thought you were Dad," she mumbled against me. "I really thought you were him."

I sat down on the steps and held her like a child, rocking her gently while she cried. I suddenly remembered why she'd think that.

As a kid, B fell asleep in the back of the car all the time, no matter where they were going, if it was evening, she was fast asleep when they got there. I could remember dozens of times Charlie carrying a sleeping B into our house and putting her down in Mom and Dad's room to sleep until she woke up, from when she was a tiny little girl with crazy brown curls to when she was really too old for Charlie to be carrying around, all awkward skinny legs and arms and crazy brown hair.

I reached up and smoothed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead. She quieted against me and sat up, her face drawn.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I dream about him all the time. Just now, I dreamed that he was walking with me and he said" she stopped for a moment and then continued, her voice breaking "'The one who loved you so well is one you can no longer see, but the love is still there.'" She wiped a few tears away and sighed. "So not how he talked, but that's what he said."

She looked up at me tiredly. "I'm glad I can still see you."

I grinned and kissed her. "I'm glad I can see you, too."

Rosalie's POV

Something was kind of…off that night as we celebrated Jazz's birthday with the older Cullens and the Blacks. Esme outdid herself again, with a veritable feast for us. Bella was quieter than usual and Edward seemed somewhat subdued, too. Even Jazz, who should have been bouncing off the walls with excitement over his license and getting the truck, but I suppose all that was tempered with the empty chair.

Alice was bouncing around with enough energy for the whole room. She flitted from the buffet table to the dining table and then back to the gift table, bringing the gifts over one by one for Jazz to open. He got some video games and DVD's we all knew he wanted, a few goofy gifts relating to driving, and a couple of gift certificates.

We didn't stay long, Bella had the early shift so we headed back home early so she could get to bed early.

"So, what's up?" I asked as Edward and I settled on the couch while the others went to bed.

Edward sighed. "She had a dream about Charlie and I picked her up and she thought it was him. She's been a little hung up on that all day."

"Ouch."

He nodded and closed his eyes. "Shit, I wish Emmett were here. I need a drinking buddy."

I laughed and squeezed his thigh. "Me too. Wishing Emmett was here, not the drinking buddy part."

He grinned. "So when's he due back anyway?"

I sighed and stretched out, plopping my feet in his lap. He automatically began rubbing them. Alice was too shy to ask for foot rubs, but I'd passed that ages ago and had no qualms about shoving Bella out of the way when I felt like her feet had been rubbed long enough.

"Third week of November. I'm hoping it doesn't get delayed or he could miss Thanksgiving."

He nodded and kept rubbing. "I feel like I should get hazard pay being here with you three. Do you realize I haven't had a peaceful piss in two months now?"

I laughed and shrugged. "You knew what you were getting into."

"No, I didn't," he laughed. "I moved in when it was just one pregnant woman. Bella was kind of a bonus and Alice was a shocker."

"Truth," I sighed. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the arm of the couch. "If you feel any better, I think the morning sickness is over. Now you have three women who'll have to pee every fifteen minutes or so."

He groaned. "Emmett so owes me. You should name that baby after me."

"Even if it's a girl?" I laughed.

"Edwarda. It could work."

I shook my head at him. "Kook."

"Incubator."

Edward's POV

I sighed and settled down at the computer. B was fast asleep behind me on the bed as I powered up the computer. It loaded quickly and I called up my email.

**Emmy, **

**I think you should know, your fetus is going to kill me. Unless Jasper's or mine does it first. Seriously? THREE pregnant women? What the fuck was I thinking? **

**Jazz is working at the sporting goods store and seems to be enjoying that. He got his license today and we officially passed on the truck. He was so excited he ran to sit in the truck even though he wasn't going anywhere. **

**We had a nice dinner with my parents…blah blah, I know. Boring shit. Whatever. You will read what I write because you are desperate for unaltered news of what's going on here. **

**B had a dream about Charlie this afternoon. She fell asleep in the backseat of the car on the way home from the DMV and I made the mistake of picking her up. She freaked out a little, thinking I was your dad and we sat on the steps while she cried. I felt like shit. I didn't even think that something like that would set her off. She's been doing ok the past couple of weeks, but I guess that was too much. Note to self: don't pick up B while she's sleeping. **

**Seriously, can you please try to come home sooner? One bathroom is a total shitfest (ok, not literally) but I have run out to the woods a couple of times to take a leak while your fetus was puking and Jasper's was dancing in the hallway and mine was working. I met Jasper out there. We're talking about setting up a little man cave of sorts out there, probably a portable shed with electricity so we can watch TV and hide. You're not invited unless you come home soon. **

**I've got to go. Write back soon!**

**The guy you know you always wished you were. **

I flipped off the computer and crawled into bed, pulling B against me. She snuggled against me in her sleep. I kissed her shoulder and dropped off to sleep myself.

When I woke up the next morning, B was already gone. I could hear the shower running so knew I wouldn't be able to get into the bathroom for a while. Especially if it was Rosalie. I flipped on the computer and grinned when I saw a response from Emmett.

**Guy who wanted to be ME, not the other way around,**

**Yeah, you're the fucking moron in this situation. Of course, I'd love to be there (no, really, I would) just to see the girls ballooning up. Unless they try to castrate you or something, you should definitely take pictures or, better yet, video! Rose has Skype, so I can see her (dude, her tits are aMAZing. Touch them and die.) but I'd like to see Bella and Alice, too. **

**Man…I wouldn't have thought picking her up would be a big deal, either. Sorry you had to deal with that, but it sounds like you're handling things pretty well. And glad Jazz is finally pitching in. About damn time! But seriously, make him save that money. If you need anything, Rose and I will help. He needs his money for college and/or the baby. **

**Ok. I have to run, too. Save me a space in the man cave. Dude…we should find an actual cave! That'd be fucking awesome!!**

**The best looking fetus father from Forks (get it? Lots of 'F's)**

I rolled my eyes and clicked off.

***

Tali: ok, so the memory doesn't fit as well as other do, but the point is, it's a first job and Jasper has his first job…and yes…that was based on reality. I worked at a movie/book/music store in my hometown my first year of college (yes, I didn't get my first real job until college) and it was horrible. The first week or so, I was the lucky newbie to get to clean the bathrooms. It was a Friday night. There was shit ON. THE. CEILING. I still shudder at that. There was a hot manager helping me, but we didn't kiss: he's gay. But yeah. Horrible. The porn thing was a separate event. We found tons of porn stashed in a changing station one afternoon and it was…damp. *shudder*

The worst has to be the time one of my managers walked in on a kid butt ass naked, dick in hand, going at it like a bunny on crack. The manager looked like he was going to cry. He came and hid in my lane (I was customer service) until the kid left. The question was: why did the kid not shut the door all the way and lock it if he was going to do that in the store?

The dream Bella has is a dream I had a few weeks ago. I woke up crying in the middle of the night and those words are the only words I remember from the dream. And one of my favorite memories of childhood was falling asleep in the car on the way home and Dad carrying me inside and putting me to bed. Sometimes, I would pretend to be asleep, just so he would carry me. I never felt so safe as when in Dad's arms. I was so sad when I realized I was too big for him to do it anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

Bella's POV

_We all crowded into the room, whispering softly. Emmett was sprawled across his bed, face down fast asleep. Edward was sitting on the other twin, looking confused in his sleepiness. I walked over and sat beside him shyly. He looked down at me. _

_"What's going on?"_

_"It's Momma's birthday morning thing. It's new this year."_

_"Oh." He nodded, slightly dazed. _

_Momma passed Jasper to Daddy and lit some candles, passing one to each of us. She then passed around the roses and we stood in silence. It was dark and cold and I shivered slightly, crowding closer to Edward. He absentmindedly put his arm around me. _

_Momma cleared her throat and we started singing "Happy Birthday." Emmett didn't move at first. Edward stretched a foot out and poked him in the side with his toes. Emmett rolled over and pulled the covers up over his head, moaning tiredly. Jasper started laughing and reaching for Emmett. _

_Momma reached down and pulled the blankets off of Emmett. He scowled up at us from the bed but took Jasper automatically. Momma beamed. _

_"Good morning. We've come to bless you."_

_Edward looked down at me and I shrugged. Momma was weird._

_Daddy cleared his throat. "Emmett, I bless you with quick wit and quick feet."_

_Momma smiled and gestured to Daddy to give Emmett his flower. Emmett took it awkwardly and looked over at Edward and me. I shrugged again. "I bless you with good friends," Momma smiled, handing over her flower. She looked at us. "Edward, you go next."_

_He played with the flower awkwardly. "Um…I bless you with peace and quiet?" Emmett snickered as he took the rose. _

_I stood up and smiled. "I bless you with cool toys," I said proudly, handing over my flower. _

_He grinned. "Thanks little sister." _

_Momma clapped her hands together. "We've got breakfast in the kitchen. French toast and bacon, scrambled eggs and everything you like Emmett." She started shooing everyone out, grinning over her shoulder at Emmett. _

I yawned and stretched. It was nice to wake up slowly for once, not worried about getting up and getting food for everyone. Turning over cooking responsibilities to Alice was probably the best thing I'd ever done in my life.

"Morning sleepyhead," grinned E from the doorway. He came in with a tray of food that smelled amazing. I grinned and sat up.

"So how'd you sleep?" asked E, carefully setting the tray down on my nightstand and leaning over to kiss me.

I kissed him back and smiled. "Pretty great, actually." I craned my neck to see the tray behind him. "Is that for me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course. It is your birthday after all. Happy 21." I grinned and kissed him again.

"Well, then feed me. I'm hungry."

He chuckled and passed over the food. We chatted companionably for a while, him snitching pieces of food off my plate while I ate. When I was done, he took the empty plates and disappeared. I took the opportunity of the empty bathroom and jumped in the shower.

I'd finally "popped" a little more, meaning that I was now starting to actually show and look pregnant and not just look fat. It was actually a little alarming how much I was showing, to be honest. If it was this much at only 12 weeks, how huge was I going to be at the end? I would have to be impregnated by a big, tall man.

It was interesting: the guys at the hotel seemed to hit on me even more now that I was actually showing. Maybe because they knew I couldn't get pregnant? Who knew.

Speaking of, gloriously, I had the day off. Jasper and Alice were off to school, grumbling about it, and Edward was off to work, leaving Rose and me home alone together.

After everyone had left, she stretched out on the couch and I curled up in Dad's chair.

"So what do you want to do today?" she asked, her eyes closed.

I reclined the chair and sighed. "Sleep?"

She laughed. "Fat chance. The workers will be here soon and they'll make a lot of noise. I usually try to go run errands while they're here."

"I forgot about that. Let's go run errands then." I pushed myself up and yawned. "Maybe some errands where I can sleep."

She grinned and rolled off the couch. Rose wasn't showing quite as much, being much taller and bigger than I, but she still had a bit of a bump on her. Alice, poor thing, had been showing for a couple of weeks now. I really worried about her: Swan babies had a tendency to run big. Rose stood and beamed down at me.

"Come on, I'm taking you out for a birthday celebration day. It'll be great."

I rolled my eyes but followed. If I knew Rose, there'd be pampering and shopping. Shopping I could do without, pampering I was all in for.

Rosalie's POV

Bella came out of her massage looking completely relaxed and calm, a little smile on her face. I grinned and led her to the next station, nails. She climbed up into the chair carefully and gingerly put her feet into the jetted foot basin. She groaned softly as the massage chair kicked on.

"You are the shit, Rose," she sighed, adjusting in the chair and grinning at me.

I grinned back. "So how're things? I feel like I don't get to talk to you anymore."

She chuckled. "I work all the time and when I'm home I want to sleep."

"I understand that. I don't get why your boss put you on evenings, though."

"So that I can do mornings later in my pregnancy and not have to worry about running up and down stairs when I'm the size of an elephant." She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. "Other than my clothes not fitting very well anymore, I'm doing pretty good. You?"

"Same, though its mostly my shirts that don't fit. Seriously, when do they stop expanding?"

She snickered. "Not for a while, I guess. Or they will and just stay huge."

Suddenly her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, staring at me. "Shit."

"Bella?" I asked, alarmed.

She looked down at her stomach and then up at me. "I just felt it move."

I relaxed. "Fuck, I thought something was wrong."

She glared at me, annoyed. "It's the first time, bitch."

"Oh." I grinned. "Weird, huh?"

She nodded, a look of wonder on her face. "Weird but fucking awesome."

I settled back in my chair. "You'll have to tell Edward about it. He'll be excited."

She laughed. "No shit. He sleeps with his hand on my stomach."

"So, what's your favorite birthday so far?"

She laughed softly and sat thinking. "They've all been pretty tame, to be honest. My 17th, though, my friend Angela threw a surprise party for me. This guy who annoyed the shit out of me managed to weasel an invite out of her and was there, Ben something. I forget. We had a lot of fun, though."

"Worst birthday?"

"The one right after Renee left." She was quiet. "She'd started this weird tradition a couple of years before where we woke each other up at the crack of dawn and blessed each other and had candles and flowers before we ate breakfast together. Dad was so busy that first birthday after, trying to get me and Emmett ready for school and take care of Jasper that he actually forgot it was my birthday until late that night." She sighed. "He felt like shit, I knew, and I tried not to let him know how hurt I was, but I was 7 and shit at hiding my emotions. I hadn't achieved the brilliance at it that I have now." She grinned at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I doubt Edward will ever forget your birthday. Dude loves you."

She smiled softly. "Yeah, I'm hella lucky."

Edward's POV

I pulled up to the house and swung out. I'd been kept later than I'd intended and was now running late. I was relieved to see that the other cars were all still in the drive. We looked like a mini-parking lot now that we had four cars at the house.

I hurried in and could hear B shouting at Rose to hurry the fuck up. I grinned as I pushed open the door. She was standing at the foot of the stairs, her hands on her hips looking annoyed. I wrapped my arms around her from behind, spreading my palms across her belly and kissing her neck.

"Fuck, Edward, you almost gave me a heart attack," she jumped, glaring over her shoulder at me.

I grinned back at her. "Do I have time to change?"

She scowled. "Probably. Rose's slow ass is on the like, fourth outfit already." She turned around and kissed me lightly. "Be fast."

I ran upstairs and changed into jeans and a button-up before trotting back down. Rose still wasn't ready.

"Rose, I swear to God if you don't come in the next fifteen seconds we're leaving without you," B threatened from the bottom of the stairs.

Jasper and Alice were sitting and waiting on the couch, their hands clasped, her head on his shoulder. I settled in Charlie's chair and grinned. Family. Gotta love 'em.

Rose finally stomped down the stairs, looking annoyed but flawless.

"Damn, Bella, chill out. I'm too fat to fit into anything." She scowled as we headed to the car. Rose ended up wedged in the back with Alice and B while Jazz climbed in front. Luckily, it was a short drive to my parents' house.

Mom ushered us in quickly and settled us at the table, pushing food at us. We ate and chatted, Billy Black once again part of the party. He'd come alone since Jake was back in school. As usual, the conversation turned to B's job. She always had some crazy stories to tell us and tonight was no exception.

"So how's the hotel biz?" asked Billy taking a sip of his water.

B started laughing. "Oh my god, there was this woman last night who apparently is deathly afraid of roaches." She took a sip of her water and launched into the story.

"She stopped at the desk in the morning and made a note of some roaches in her room. Leslie, the girl this morning, didn't make a note or anything about it so when the woman came back this evening about 9, I had no idea what she was talking about. So, she got really upset and demanded that I go and check the room for her. I explained that I couldn't so she sat in the lobby and pouted until she finally called a cab and went to the gas station to get a can of Raid. While she was gone, I called Rich and he came in about a half hour early so I could help her out.

"I ended up moving her to another room and we used about half of the can spraying that room down. It was rank and you could smell it down the hall in her old room. I helped her pack up her two giant suitcases and drag them down the hall to the new room. She was terrified something could come through the window in spite of the screen and the fact she's on the top floor. Lady is insane."

Mom chuckled. "Does the inn have trouble with roaches?"

"No," B said indignantly. "You should have seen her room. It looked like her suitcases had exploded all over the place and she had a ton of food in the room. If anything, she brought the roaches with her."

I reached over and draped my arm across the back of her chair. "I hope you didn't spend too much time around the fumes," I grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't, but she slept in that room. She may be even crazier by now."

There were laughs around the table and she turned to me suddenly. "Edward, I almost forgot. I felt the baby move today for the first time."

My eyes widened and I immediately put my hands on her belly, hoping to feel something.

"How exciting," Mom gushed.

Dad was beaming and even Billy looked thrilled. I was just jealous. I wanted to feel the baby move too.

B patted my knee and grinned. "I'm sure it'll happen again and plenty. You'll have ample opportunity to feel the lima bean moving around. This time was just like a butterfly fluttering."

I sighed. I still wanted to feel something.

***

Tali: Yes, I know, not much happened. Quiet chapter in the Swans/Cullens lives. Plus, I'm trying to rush and get some chapters written. Its Thursday night as I type this…I'm barely ahead here. lol

The true stuff: The birthday morning stuff. It's called Mananitas and is a Mexican tradition or something. I'm not Mexican. No one in my family is Mexican. My mom just likes to try random things. We only did it in the mornings a few times before we kids revolted and refused to do it anymore. After that, it was during dinner that we'd bless each other and lob flowers.

My family did forget my birthday once. It was my 19th. I was pissed and they griped at me for being a bitch. I finally asked them what day it was. They felt bad…lol

The lady with the roaches. COMPLETELY TRUE! She's a psycho. She ended up leaving the hotel the next day because the second room supposedly had roaches, too. The GM comped her $900 phone bill home to Brazil.


	19. Chapter 19

Jasper's POV

_I stuck my tongue out of my mouth as I tried to get my guy to kill the other character on the screen. Video games were harder than Dad realized. I was learning life skills, I was sure. What they were, I didn't know, but there had to be something I was learning. _

_"I'm home," B called, the door slamming shut behind her. _

_I put the controller down and turned around, my eyes nearly bugging out of my head. Her hair had been nearly to her waist this morning and now it was chin length. I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. "You cut your hair," I said stupidly. _

_She grinned. "Yeah, you like it?"_

_I studied it for a long second. "It's different."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Dad?"_

_"Coming," Dad called as he came down the stairs. He stopped at the foot of the stairs and stared at her. "Wow. You cut your hair."_

_She nodded and did a little twirl. She was wearing a white skirt that kind of floated around her legs. I had to admit, she looked really pretty. The more I looked at it, the more I liked the short hair. Dad came towards her slowly, like he wasn't sure he quite knew her. _

_"Why'd you do it?" he asked curiously, fingering a lock. _

_She grinned and plopped into his chair, her skirt fluffing around her legs lightly. "I was doing some research on cancer and stuff at school and I found out about this thing called Locks of Love. They take donations of hair and turn it into wigs for kids who've lost their hair due to chemo and whatever. I've been wanting to do something different for the summer and I thought, hey, haircut." She looked up anxiously. "Dad, it'll grow back."_

_He grinned and ruffled her hair before sitting on the couch next to me. "I love your hair long, but I'm proud of you for donating your hair, Bella. It's very noble of you."_

_She rolled her eyes. "It's just hair, Dad," she said, turning pink, but I could tell she was pleased Dad was proud. _

I leaned against the counter eating a bowl of cereal for a snack, Alice bustling around starting dinner. I'd be working through dinner, so she wasn't fussing at me too much. She was getting big already and it was kind of cool to realize that the bump was my doing.

"Jazz, I've been thinking," she said suddenly, looking up at me. "I'm not sure we can take care of a baby."

I swallowed and stared into my bowl. "So what are you thinking?"

"I…I think we should give it up for adoption."

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. "You don't think B would help us out?"

"She works, too, Jazz. I mean, they'll probably put their kid in day care."

"We can do day care. I've got a job."

She sighed. "We're just kids, Jazz. You're 16 and I'll only be 15 when it's born. We've got years of school left and I just don't think we can do it with a baby. My parents are out and Bella and Edward have their own family to worry about."

I took another bite, but it tasted like nothing anymore. I sighed and set the bowl on the counter. "Can I think about it?"

"Of course." she wrapped her arms around me and rested her cheek against my chest. "I don't want to give it up, either, but we have to think about what's best for him or her. And I'm not totally sure that's us."

I hugged her back, resting my cheek on the top of her head. She had a point. I had two years of high school left, including this one, and B was determined I'd go to college. That was six years at least. Five and a half with a kid. "I'll think about it," I promised.

The phone rang then and I released her and grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Jasper?"

I frowned. "Yes, who is this?"

"Sweetie, it's your mom."

Rosalie's POV

Bella paced back and forth while she talked to Renee, slowly getting angrier and angrier. Edward was working late at the hospital and Jasper had had to go to work, so Alice and I were left alone to deal with the shit storm that was about to hit. She finally slammed the phone down and came in, her face dark. She angrily flipped her long hair over her shoulder and threw herself into Charlie's chair. Alice and I looked at her expectantly.

"She can't come in November like she originally planned. She won't be here until fucking February," she spat.

Our eyes widened. "Shit, really?" whispered Alice.

Bella nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry. Alice, I'm not upset with your or Jasper or your presence. Don't think that. I'm pissed at Renee."

Alice nodded but she didn't look totally convinced. I knew she was a little scared about what would happen when Renee finally did come home. If she ever came. I was beginning to think she wouldn't come ever, wouldn't meet her grandchildren. That didn't seem like the worst thing in the world.

I sat forward. "So, the merry band will not be broken up for a while, then. I think we need to do something to celebrate and bond as women and mothers to be."

They stared at me like I was suddenly spouting Greek. "Celebrate that my mother is a bitch?" Bella looked confused.

"No, celebrate that we'll all be together for the holidays."

"Aren't the holidays kind of a celebration in themselves?" asked Alice.

I clicked my tongue frustrated. "Come on, just let's do something. Bond! Be women! Roar! Something. I've been cooped up in this damn house too long."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Like what? Tattoos?"

"I'm pretty sure pregnant women can't get tattoos," mused Alice.

"Or piercings," added Bella.

I sat thoughtfully. "We could dye our hair or something."

Alice made a face. "I like my hair as is."

"Same here," admitted Bella. "Though it is about time for me to get it cut again. Your hair is long enough, Rose, you could donate with me."

I stared at her. "You mean to Locks of Love? You want me to cut off 10 inches of my hair?"

"More like 12, but yeah." She smiled at me. Smug bitch.

"I don't have enough hair to do that," pouted Alice.

"So you come and supervise," grinned Bella.

"Oh, I have some great ideas!" she was bouncing in her seat now.

Bella grinned at me. "Great idea, Rose, let's get going." She stood up and headed upstairs to get her purse. I frowned at her back.

"I didn't say I would cut off 12 inches of hair," I called after her.

"If you hate it, it'll grow out," she called back.

Edward's POV

I sighed as I finally pulled into the drive. The house was dark, only a dim light on in the living room for me. I headed in quietly, not even bothering to check the kitchen for food as I headed upstairs. I'd been gone since 6 am and it was after midnight so all I wanted was to kiss my wife and go to sleep. The hours were shit now as I covered for seemingly every other doctor at the hospital, but I was hoping that it would work in my favor when the baby was born.

I undressed quickly and crawled into bed, pulling B against me. I frowned when I didn't feel her hair against my fingers. I ran my hands up and down her back before finally propping myself up on one elbow and staring at her. It was too dark to see anything. I moved my hands up to her face and found her hair at her temple and followed the strands down. They ended abruptly at her chin.

"I cut it," she murmured sleepily. "Go to sleep."

I grinned and kissed her lightly, settling back and pulling her against me. Her belly was pressed hard against my side and I felt something hit me lightly. I grinned even wider. A kick.

***

Tali: My dad worked lots of hours at the hospital, so I can remember days of him making a brief appearance for dinner and that being just about the only time I saw him all day, so I know that part is pretty realistic.

I've been cutting my hair for Locks of Love for five and a half years now. In that time, though, I've only cut it three times. It takes a while to grow 12 inches of hair…lol The first time I did it, my dad was completely shocked. My hair before almost reached my waist, the longest it had been since I was about 8 and got it tangled up in a brush with bristles all around it. I grew it out and cut it again one summer I lived in Austin, TX, to much the same reaction. He seemed surprised that I would do it a second time. The third time, last summer, I think he realized this was something I planned on continuing. He was proud of me for giving something like that, though really, it's just hair. I'm considered hair illiterate, so I really don't do anything with it. Donating it is just a cheap charitable thing to do. I've even found places that cut it for free. Nice.

Also…I'm gradually losing steam for this. I think I can finish it, but I'm not totally sure how long it'll take. Sorry if the chapters seem awkward or just boring…As scheduled currently, the last chapter will be posted October 31st. So, please bear with me. I could either take a hiatus and give this story time to germinate or I could keep writing and posting daily, though the story will probably suffer…any thoughts on that, dear readers?


	20. Chapter 20

Bella's POV

_I woke up when I heard a thump. I looked over and frowned. Jasper wasn't there anymore. I crawled across the big bed and looked over the edge. Nothing. Wait. _

_I frowned when I saw a blue clad foot disappearing under the bed. I climbed down and looked under the bed. Jasper was still fast asleep, but now he was up against the wall. I reached for him but he was too far in and I was a little scared of crawling under the bed. I climbed back up and snuggled up with a pillow. It was nice to have the whole bed to myself, actually._

_I woke with a jump when Daddy shook me, a little frantic. "Bella, where's Jasper?"_

_I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Jasper?"_

_He nodded. "I put him in the bed with you last night, remember? We put the crib away?"_

_I yawned. "He fell out of bed last night. I think he's probably still under there."_

_Daddy stared at me for a moment before dropping on his knees and looking under the bed. I leaned over and looked with him, my hair brushing the floor. Jasper was still cuddled up to the wall, fast asleep and sucking on his thumb. Daddy sighed and crawled under, grabbing hold of Jasper and pulling him out. _

_"First thing," he muttered as he put Jasper on the bed, "I'm pulling the bed out of the corner." He looked at me for a moment. "Second, you're getting your own room. Jasper can share with Emmett, he's got the two twins."_

_I grinned and climbed down. "I'll start packing him right now." _

I literally had to shut my hands in the cash drawer to keep from leaping across the desk and strangling the man, five month belly be damned. He was leering at me and making absurd suggestions and I really just wanted to kick his ass.

"Come on, haven't you wondered about it?"

I gritted my teeth. "No, I'm not a fan of riding in airplanes in general, tiny planes in particular. Thanks for the offer though," I plastered a smile on my face.

He sighed. "Well, can't blame me for trying. Can I get a couple more beers?"

I nodded and headed to the small refrigerator we kept in the back. I pulled out two beers for Mr. Dobbs and handed them over, posting the charge to his account right away. He'd already had three today, on top of whatever he had stashed in his room.

He popped off the top and took a long pull, sighing with contentment. "Now that's nice."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and checked my watch discreetly. Any minute now, Rich would show up to relieve me. I pretended to check a few things on the computer in the hopes that he'd go away. No such luck. Instead, I heard the sound of glass shattering and smelled beer heavy in the air. I looked up startled and Mr. Dobbs was studying his feet.

"I seem to have dropped my beer," he commented, an evil smile on his face. He looked at me. "I can't bend down, can you clean that up for me?"

I gritted my teeth again. At this rate, I'd have no teeth before my baby was born. "My pleasure," I forced.

I headed to the back and grabbed some cleaning rags and a trash bag and looked around for the broom. Not finding it, I headed back to the front. I walked around the front of the desk and dropped the rags on the floor, using my foot to clean up the liquid as best I could. I finally had as much sopped up as I could so I awkwardly knelt on the floor to pick up the rags and the glass.

Out of nowhere, I felt Mr. Dobbs' cane pressing lightly against my side. I looked up startled and he was grinning down at me. He pushed a little harder and I put my hand out to steady myself, right on a piece of glass. I winced as it dug into the soft skin of my palm.

"What are you doing?" demanded Rich, coming in the door right then. I sighed with relief, not even bothering to internalize this.

Rich strode across the room angrily and offered me a hand. I stood up awkwardly. Even in the best of circumstances I wasn't terribly graceful. Add in five months of pregnancy and I felt like an unsteady toddler.

Rich was visibly angry, his face red. He glared at Mr. Dobbs. "I think it'd be best if you headed up to your room now."

Mr. Dobbs studied him for a beat before finally walking out. Rich turned to me once he was gone. "You ok?"

I nodded and studied my palm. It didn't seem to be too deep though it was bleeding quite a bit. I carefully picked the glass out of my palm and grabbed a tissue to press on the cut. "I'm fine. He's just a dick."

He rolled his eyes. "You have no idea. He keeps asking me about your underwear."

I stared at him in shock. "Why?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Like you said, he's a dick."

I chuckled and quickly passed on what I had before heading home. Edward was going to be pissed but there wasn't anything to do about it. At least I was on mornings now; that had to count for something.

Alice and Jasper were sprawled across the living room, books open all around them. They were both wearing ear buds so didn't look up when I entered. I could hear Rosalie singing in the kitchen, slightly off key. I headed upstairs to change and froze when I entered my room.

Something was off, but I couldn't quite place it. The bed was neatly made, the chair was under the desk. I realized with a start that the computer was gone and the closet was empty. I frowned and opened my dresser drawer which was also empty. I turned around and stomped back downstairs, really irritated now. Jasper and Alice looked up, likely feeling the vibrations from my stomps. Jasper twitched the buds out of his ears and grinned at me.

"Hey, welcome home."

"Where's my stuff?" I demanded.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't fuck with me, where's my stuff?"

"Chill," Rose came in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "The addition is finished, remember? We moved everything in for you."

I stared at her confused. "Why?"

E came through the new door in the living room then and grinned at me. "Surprise, we got a new room."

I felt like everyone was taking crazy pills. "We added a bathroom."

"No," Rose was grinning like an idiot "we added a master suite for you and Edward."

E took my hand and pulled me through the door. My jaw dropped when I saw the room in front of me. It was huge, bigger than Dad's room upstairs, with a king sized bed along one wall and a little sitting area in a bay window. One side of the room had a small cradle in it that I recognized as the one we'd all slept in as babies. The room had lots of light from the big windows on two sides. There were two doors on one wall and E pulled me over to them. One was a giant closet where all my clothes had been hung up and organized by season and color if I was right. I grinned, recognizing Alice's handiwork.

The other door was an amazing bathroom, with a double vanity, huge soaking tub, and giant glass shower. And, probably my favorite thing of all, a second toilet. I resisted the urge to drop to my knees and hug it.

"We also had them install a bigger hot water heater," grinned Jasper. "So no more cold showers."

I turned and grabbed the first person I found in a hug. "Thank you so much," I managed, fighting back some tears. "But why do E and I get the suite?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Because you're the parents in this fucked up little family. You do so much for us, you deserve a nice room." She smiled and pulled me into a hug. "And I knew you wouldn't want to move into Charlie's room," she added softly. "I feel weird in there so I'm taking over your old room."

I nodded and wiped away a couple of tears. "I was thinking it'd be a good nursery, depending on how many babies we have around here." I grinned over at Jasper and Alice who suddenly looked nervous.

"We're actually thinking about giving the baby up," said Jasper quietly. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Really?"

He nodded and shifted uncomfortably. "We can't raise a baby on our own and we can't ask you to help out and let us be parents of convenience, you know?"

I sighed and pulled them into my arms. "I'm happy to help you however I can. You know that."

"We do," sighed Alice. "I just…when I'm a mom, I want to be there for my kid and with 6 years of school left I just…I don't think I can do that."

I nodded and stroked her hair. "Well, don't rush into anything, ok? Keep thinking on it."

She nodded. She and Jasper looked absolutely miserable and I ached for them to be faced with such a decision so young. I headed back into my new bedroom and took in my beautiful new furniture. I wanted to crawl into the big wonderful bed and just sleep for a hundred years.

Edward's POV

Bella danced around the room that night, wearing a loose white nightgown that barely reached her knees. I grinned as she moved back and forth between the bed and the closet and the bathroom. She wasn't sure what to revel in first and I couldn't help laughing at her.

She looked at me with a grin. "Shut up, I'm happy."

I shook my head, grinning back. "I know; you're like a kid in a candy store."

She settled on the bed and sighed happily. "I am. I'm just…I'm pleased."

I smiled and pulled her against me. "I'm pleased that you're pleased." We sat in quiet solitude for a moment before she twisted around and looked up at me.

"What do you think about helping Alice and Jasper out with their baby?"

"How so?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I'm thinking that I'll give in to your demands and stay home after the baby's born, maybe even see about finishing up my last year of college via correspondence. I looked into it at work this morning and it would be simple enough. I can stay home and be a little housewife and still finish up. It might take longer, but…" she trailed off and sighed. "I just hate to see them hurting over this and if I can help out by being childcare during the day I'd like to."

I nodded and rubbed her legs. Her skin was cool to the touch. "Why don't we all sit and talk about it later, ok?"

She sighed. "Well, of course, I just wanted your thoughts."

I leaned forward and studied her face. "I love that you want to help, but are you sure?"

She shook her head. "No. Well, I mean, yes, I'm sure I want to help them. No, I'm not sure I can do this. But they'll take over responsibility of their child in the afternoons and if they do a year or two at the community college, it won't be so difficult. It's just figuring out how to do everything."

I nodded. I still wasn't completely convinced, but at least now she was talking about finishing school. That subject had been off limits for the past couple of months, just like the piano in the other room. She leaned forward and kissed me lightly. She looked up at me through those lashes and leaned forward further so her lips were brushing against my ear. "Wanna break in the new bed?"

Rosalie's POV

I wandered down to the kitchen at 3 am like usual, my stomach growling. There was no doubt this kid was Emmett's the way it demanded food every few hours. I rummaged around in the kitchen until I found something that looked good. I was sitting at the table dipping my potato chips in salad dressing when I heard muffled frantic noises coming from the new addition. I grimaced. I did NOT want to hear them having sex. As liberated and open about that as I was, it was still weird to hear people having sex. I quickly put my stuff away and started upstairs for bed.

Suddenly the door burst open and Edward stumbled out, his hair sticking up everywhere and his face pale. "Rose," he muttered hoarsely. "Thank God. I've got to get Bella to the hospital. Something's wrong."

My heart leapt into my throat. "What happened?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. We were sleeping and she woke up feeling a little weird. She went to the bathroom and she's bleeding."

"Oh god," I whispered.

He disappeared back into their room and reappeared a moment later with a pale looking Bella in his arms. I opened the door for them and they disappeared into the night.

***

Tali: My younger brother is less than three years younger so for the first few years of his life, we shared a room. He had a crib and I had a full-sized bed but he wanted to sleep with me all the time and I didn't mind so we'd share the bed. Once, he rolled off in the middle of the night and up under the bed. I couldn't get in and out of the bed by myself because it was pretty high so I just left him. My mom freaked out a little in the morning until I pointed out he was under the bed. Shortly after the furniture was rearranged and the bed pulled out of the corner. Our sister, who's 12 years older than I am, went off to college when he was 3 so we got separate rooms then.

And, the old guy with the cane: totally happened! I wasn't pregnant, but I was squatting in heels with a skirt, so he decided to push me over so he could see my panties. Gross. Luckily, I had my own version of Rich who threatened to call the cops on the guy for assault. Good times.

As no one seemed to have any thoughts on the matter, I'll keep writing and hope you don't get just too disgusted with me. ;-) I've got seven chapters to write to be finished by my self-set deadline…let's hope I can make it. Love to all!


	21. Chapter 21

Jasper's POV

_Dad set the plate of toast on my nightstand and sat on the edge of my bed, his hand on my forehead. "You still feel pretty warm. I think one more day off from school won't kill you."_

_I grinned. "I could handle missing the rest of the week."_

_He chuckled. "No need for that. You should be ok to go back tomorrow."_

_"Here, you'll need this if I'm supposed to watch you all day." We looked up to see B standing in the door with the small porcelain bell known as the "Sick Bell."_

_Dad chuckled. "You don't have to stay with him all day, Bella. He's 13 years old, I think he can be alone for a bit if you need to run out at some point."_

_She shrugged and settled on the other bed. "I've got nothing else to do. None of my friends came home for winter break, so I'll just be here all day. Though I'm not your little lackey." She gave me a look. "Emergencies only, Jazz."_

_I grinned. I couldn't remember a time when we _didn't_ have the Sick Bell. Since I was little, whenever one of us was sick, the bell took up residence on that person's nightstand while they recuperated. B was sick more than anyone, so it pretty much lived in her room. Emmett used to tease that her constant illness was why Dad nicknamed her Bella. _

_Dad looked between the two of us. "Ok, so Bella's in charge. Bella, be nice. Jasper, behave." He ruffled my hair and gave B a quick kiss on the forehead as he headed out the door. _

_She stretched out on the bed and lay silently while I chewed on my toast. We heard the car start up a minute later and Dad left. She rolled onto her side and studied me for a second. _

"_So…really sick?"_

_I raised my eyebrows. "Why would I lie about that?"_

"_To skip school." _

_I grinned. "It doesn't do much good since I can't do anything. I'm bored with the video games and movies we've got."_

_She chuckled softly. "So let's go see a movie. If you're up to it."_

_I snorted. "Up to sitting in a dark room and watch a movie? Hell yeah."_

I sat and stared into my cup, not really seeing anything. Alice and I had woken up at the sound of the engine catching in the middle of the night. I'd stumbled downstairs to find out what was going on and had been met by a frantic Rosalie. All three of us had been up ever since trying to figure out what was going on.

Alice had at least had the presence of mind to call the inn and let them know what was going on with B so she was covered there, and the school so we were ok to stay home until we heard what was going on.

Rose was pacing anxiously. She'd made breakfast but no one was eating. The phone rang and she leapt across the kitchen, snatching it off the wall.

"Hello?" She was silent, her face drawn for a moment before she finally sighed and relaxed. "So you'll be home later?"

I relaxed and Alice did, too. Rose talked for a moment then hung up and turned to us, obviously relieved.

"Bella's fine, she's just going to be on bed rest for the next couple of months." She sighed and rubbed her face. "That means no work, no cooking, no cleaning, no anything. She's allowed to get up for the bathroom and showers but you know Bella, she'll try to push it. We'll have to watch her all the time."

I nodded. "How is she, though?"

She started dumping the cold food on our plates into the trash. "Edward said she's ok, just tired. She didn't get much sleep at the hospital."

She started another pot of coffee and sat down at the table. "She'll probably sleep all day today and I'll take over baby-sitting her tomorrow while everyone's out, but we'll have to take turns in the evenings and on the weekends."

"Not a problem," said Alice. "I'll take up residence in her room on the weekends. It'll be fine." She smiled. "We'll be great."

Bella's POV

I stared out the window at the rain. It matched my mood. Even though it wasn't my fault and nothing was related, I felt like everything was crashing down on me at once and I was suffocating. I was angry that I had to stay in bed for 8 weeks and frustrated that I wasn't going to be able to do anything without help during that time.

"Bella?"

I rolled over and smiled when I saw Alice and Jasper in the doorway. I scooted up in my seat and motioned them in. Jasper grinned and walked over, putting something down on my nightstand. I frowned and leaned over. I started laughing when I picked up the Sick Bell.

"Where the hell did you find this?" I grinned at him.

He settled down on the foot of the bed. "It was in the kitchen in a cabinet. Dad never would have thrown that out. He actually used it last spring when I had my wisdom teeth out."

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and smiled at him again. "Thanks."

"I'm here to keep you company," Alice announced, slinging her bag on the bed and crawling up next to me. "Everyone else has to go to work and do stuff, so I'm here to entertain you. Shall I tap or mime first?"

I started laughing. "You can tap and mime?"

"No, but I'll figure it out. Soft shoe and whiteface. And stupid white gloves." She laughed. "Otherwise, I can do your nails, feet and hand, make up, hair, craft projects, we can watch movies or you can help me with my homework." She beamed at me. "You're going to be sick of me by the time this is done."

I grinned. "I look forward to it."

She rested her head on my shoulder. "So you're ok, right?"

I nodded and put my arm around her. "We are fine. I just have to rest for a while. You're going to be sick of me asking for stuff all the time."

"Well, then we'll just start ignoring you," grinned Jasper. "Or hide the bell."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, E would kick your ass."

"Why am I kicking ass?" E asked as he came in then, pulling his tie off. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and a long day at work. He leaned down and kissed me absentmindedly.

"Jasper threatened to take away my bell if I get too needy."

He grinned. "The Sick Bell?"

I nodded and grinned up at him. "The one and only."

He chuckled and headed into the closet to change. "I'll wait on you if he hides your bell," he called out.

Jasper grinned and rolled off the bed, pulling Alice with him. "We'll see you later, B. Ring if you need anything." He winked as he closed the door behind them.

E came out of the closet then, wearing his boxers and a t-shirt, his hair sticking up all over the place. He headed into the bathroom and I heard the nighttime sounds. I pushed Alice's bag onto the floor and carefully climbed out. E looked at me alarmed when I came into the bathroom. I waved him off and headed to the toilet.

"You have an ok day?" he asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.

I shrugged. "I slept most of it. I think I slept something like 16 hours today and I'm still tired."

He nodded and rubbed his face with his wet hands. "I'm completely wiped out. I didn't rest at all sleeping up at the hospital. I'm glad I'm off tomorrow."

I nodded and grabbed my toothbrush. I sat down on the edge of the tub and brushed my teeth sitting down, then washed my face. I handed the washcloth and toothbrush to E who put them down and then we walked back to the bedroom. I crawled in and he pulled me close to him, sighing against my hair.

"I'm sorry about all this."

I shook my head. "No one's fault, remember?"

He was quiet. He pressed a kiss against my head and I closed my eyes.

Edward's POV

B was asleep before too long and even though I was exhausted, I couldn't join her. I kept going over things in my head. I knew it wasn't my fault but I couldn't help feeling somewhat guilty. This was supposed to be something easy for B to do and somehow it wasn't. I hated that I couldn't be there at the house for her all the time, but I knew Rose and Jazz and Alice would be me when I couldn't.

I sighed and shifted slightly on the bed. Emmett couldn't come home quickly enough and I couldn't get off work soon enough.

***

Tali: We had a bell, too. Well, really, we just had a bell. Last time I was home and sick was the week before my wedding and my mom dug out the bell and gave it to me for when I needed something. Dad ran out every day to get me milkshakes because for whatever reason, that was the one thing I could keep down (weird because I'm lactose intolerant). When I was a kid, he'd make the milkshakes and bring me whatever food I wanted. Now I just sit on the couch at home and feel sorry for myself…lol


	22. Chapter 22

Esme's POV

_I smiled as Bella brought in the pie and proudly placed it in front of Charlie. It looked perfect, just like the pie in the picture. Charlie beamed at Bella and pulled out a knife to start cutting it. Edward and Emmett were on the other side of the table with Jake and Jasper, the four of them throwing tiny pieces of bread they'd rolled into pills at each other. Rachel and Rebecca were deep in a discussion of their own as were Billy and Charlie. _

_Charlie passed around the slices of pie to everyone, serving first Bella's pumpkin pies, then my apple. I dished up the whipped cream onto the pies as they passed me. _

_Edward was the first to take a bite and he froze, a funny look on his face. _

_"Did you make this from scratch?" he finally asked. _

_Emmett was gagging on his bite. He reached over wordlessly and stopped Jasper from eating any. "B, I think you forgot the sugar."_

_Her eyes widened in horror and she took a bite of her piece. She made a face. "Oh gross."_

_I tried mine and it was pretty awful. "What if we just try extra whipped cream?" I suggested. "it's got sugar in it."_

_Edward passed his plate over for more. I gave him a huge serving and he tried that and shook his head. "Still pretty gross."_

_Bella sighed. "I'm sorry. I knew there was something I was missing."_

_The slices got passed back, all except Jake's. To everyone's shock, he'd already polished off the whole piece._

"_Jake…ew," Bella gasped._

_He shrugged. "You made it so it's not bad. I mean, it could use sugar, sure, but I like it." He reached across the table and grabbed the piece that had been Edwards and ate that too. "I like whatever you make, Bella," he grinned at her._

_She shuddered slightly. "You are so strange." He grinned again and dug into the slice of apple pie that now sat in front of him. _

"We're here," I called as Carlisle held the door open for me. For the first time ever, Thanksgiving dinner was being held at the Swan house. I wasn't sure how they were planning on hosting, but I was willing to give it a shot.

Rosalie came out of the kitchen, her face flushed and grinned. "Thank God. I'm so lost in here."

I laughed and followed her into the kitchen. They'd dragged the small kitchen table into the living room and had scrounged up some folding tables and chairs. It looked like they intended some people to eat on the couch and the arm chair, but however we did it, it would work out fine.

The girls had tackled the turkey and stuffing and a few sides, leaving me mainly desserts. From what I gathered, though, Bella was still in charge of the pumpkin pie.

"Hi Mom." I turned and smiled at my tall son. He pulled me into a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm well. How's my grandbaby?"

He laughed. "Driving his mom crazy. She's getting dressed and is kind of put out that nothing fits anymore."

I grinned. "So it's a boy?"

He laughed. "We switch pronouns all the time to keep everyone guessing. We really don't know."

I shook my head and turned to Rosalie and Alice. "Well girls, what can I do to help?"

Jake's POV

Dad and I pulled up to the Swans, the last ones there, like usual. I climbed out and helped Dad into his chair and handed him the dishes we'd brought. We weren't much for cooking, but Sue Clearwater had made some kind of corn dish for us to bring. He held the corn and the bread as I wheeled him inside, turning and pulling him backwards up the steps and into the house.

"The fun has arrived," I announced, turning and grinning at Edward who gave me a hug and shook Dad's hand.

"Welcome to the madhouse," he grinned.

"So how can we help?" asked Dad, handing off the food.

Edward chuckled. "I think by staying out of the way and keeping B preoccupied. She's pretty upset about having to stay off her feet all day."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm on it." I wheeled Dad into the living room where Carlisle and Jasper were camped out watching a game. I headed to the new door that I knew was Edward and Bella's new room and knocked.

"Come in," I heard her call. I pushed the door open and stuck my head in.

Bella was sitting on the bed braiding her hair. She lit up when she saw me. "Jake!" she exclaimed, holding out her arms like a little kid.

I laughed and crossed the room in two strides and pulled her into a hug. "I believe you've let someone come between us," I teased as I pulled back and looked down at her big belly.

She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea."

I set her back on the bed and sat next to her, taking in the room. "Nice."

She nodded. "Isn't it? I love it. Well, I used to. It's kind of a prison currently."

I tweaked her nose. "So how can I entertain you for today?"

"E gave you that task didn't he."

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

She pushed my arm. "Ass."

I grinned. "So how's pregnant married life?"

She groaned and lay back on the bed, smoothing her dark brown top over her belly. "Look how huge I am and I'm only 6 and a half months."

I grinned and put my hand on her belly. She put both of hers over mine and pulled it to the side and pressed it a bit. I was rewarded with a solid kick. I laughed softly. "Kicker."

She nodded. "You have no idea." She yawned. "Other than being a house, everything is pretty good. How about you?"

I stretched out on the bed next to her. "School is crazy, senior year and all that." She sighed and I reached over and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "There is this girl who's kind of driving me nuts. We went out a couple times and she won't take no for an answer."

Bella snickered. "How did you say no?"

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I told her she was a sweet girl but not the girl for me. I told her we should be friends."

Bella groaned. "Jake, that's terrible. That's like giving her a maybe. 'Be my friend and maybe my opinions will change.'"

"I didn't say that," I protested but she was laughing now.

"Jake, you're such a good looking guy and you don't really notice how girls see you. Plus you're really friendly and kind of give off that 'Let's be more than friends' vibe without realizing it."

I lay there, pondering that. "Really?"

She nodded. "You come across as the perfect guy friend to make into a boyfriend."

I sighed. "So now what?"

She chuckled. "You have to be a little more direct. Something like 'I'm not looking for a relationship and I don't see us becoming more than friends ever.'"

I scratched my chin. "Sounds kind of harsh."

"You're not telling her to fuck off or anything, just letting her know you're not interested in that with her, now or ever."

"Bella!"

We both sat up and grinned at Emmett. He came crashing into the room, throwing himself onto the bed on the other side of Bella, pulling her against him in a big hug.

"I missed you little sister," he laughed.

She was laughing, too. "Have you seen your wife?"

"Yes. She sent me in here to keep you entertained."

She was laughing more now. "Shit people, I'm not a three year old. I can take care of myself."

Emmett and I exchanged glances but before either of us could say anything, Esme called us to dinner.

Alice's POV

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I was beyond full and the baby was quiet for now, but I felt as tight as a drum. The Swans and Cullens and Blacks were all reminiscing, talking about favorite stories and remembering Thanksgivings past. I felt a pang, missing my parents. I caught Jasper's eye and he gave me a crooked smile. I grinned back at him and excused myself, carrying my dishes into the kitchen before going upstairs to lie down.

I hadn't been there for more than a few minutes where I sensed more than heard someone else in the room. I rolled over and smiled at Esme.

"How are you sweetie," she asked, sitting on the bed next to me and smoothing my hair.

I sighed. "Missing my parents."

"Have you called them?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure how they'll take it," I said, picking at the comforter. "They're still pretty mad."

"You should call them, sweetie. I know they're upset, but they're still your parents. They still love you."

I sighed and pushed myself up. "You think so?"

"I know so." She reached past me and grabbed Jasper's cell phone off the nightstand and handed it to me. She kissed my temple before disappearing and pulling the door closed behind her.

I stared at it before punching in the number and hitting send. It rang a couple of times before Dad answered it.

"Hello?"

"Daddy?"

There was a long silence. "Alice?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. How are you?"

"Roberta, pick up the phone, its Alice. We're good, sweetie, how are you?"

I shrugged. "Fine."

"Alice? Oh sweetie, how are you?"

I smiled. "I'm fine, Mom."

"Are you sure? You haven't called in months." She sounded so anxious.

I sighed. "I thought you didn't want to talk to me. You didn't call either."

"We were giving you your space."

We all sat in silence. "How's the baby?" asked Mom, her voice strained.

"Fine. Healthy and big. You should see me, I'm a house," I grinned. "I'm the biggest of the three."

"Is everyone really living in that house together?" asked Dad incredulously.

I laughed. "Yeah. The Cullens built on a master suite for Bella and Edward as an engagement/wedding gift so they've got a nice room and it's just the three of us sharing the upstairs bathroom." I frowned. "I guess four, now that Emmett's home."

"You know, you're welcome to come home," said Mom carefully.

"I won't leave Jasper."

Mom sighed. "Well, know that we miss you."

I nodded. "I miss you, too."

"You can come visit," Dad said quietly. "In fact, why don't you come tomorrow? I'm sure Jasper could come and spend a couple days here without it being too big of a deal, right?"

"Maybe. You're really ok with that?"

There was a long silence. "We'll do whatever we have to if it means having you around again."

***

Tali: So, my MOM forgot the sugar one year, not me. In fact, she has never lived that down and it was at least 15 years ago, probably more. I've been the one making the pumpkin pies for the last 15 years or so and the worst I ever did was put the stuffing spices in instead of the pumpkin pie spices. I managed to catch that before I put the filling in the crust though, so no one would have known if I hadn't told them.


	23. Chapter 23

Bella's POV

_I peeked around the corner of the stairs, anxious to catch him in the act. The fire was still burning, though it was a low lower now, mostly coals. The Christmas tree was lit up and there were piles more presents under it. I frowned with disappointment. Somehow I'd missed him. _

_"No, that's Emmett's, not Bella's," I heard Mommy saying. _

_"Really?"_

_"Really. He asked for it."_

_Daddy came into the room then, a bag in his hand. Mommy was right behind him with one in her hand. I ducked back into the shadows but they didn't see me. They started emptying the bags into our stockings. I grinned as I headed back upstairs. Angela was wrong. There was no such thing as Santa, just like I thought. It was like the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny: it was your parents. I loved being right._

"Shit, Bells, you're going to knock the tree down if you keep doing that."

I scowled at Emmett. "Shut it. And remember, we're all working on language…no more swearing since there will soon be little ears."

He rolled his eyes but grinned at me anyway, carefully hanging up another ornament. "Why are just you and i doing this again?"

"Because Alice and Rose have dinner and Jazz and E went and bought the tree. Plus, it's about time you started pulling your weight around here. That whole 'Russia for 18 months' thing isn't going to save you anymore." I grinned at him. "What, you don't like spending time with your favorite sister?"

He attempted to throw tinsel at me but it just floated down to the floor. "I do like hanging out with you, but sometimes you're a real…witch."

I laughed. "And directing the decorating makes me one?"

"You could get up and do it."

"You just told me I'd knock the tree down if I kept trying to straighten your crooked shit."

"Language and you'd probably do ok hanging them yourself."

I made a face at him and shifted in my seat. Only seven months and I felt like a beached whale. I was still on bed rest, it having been extended and slackened some. I was allowed to be up and about for about an hour a day plus bathroom visits, but I still felt like my body was going to atrophy if I didn't get to move more.

"So what'd you get Rose for Christmas?" I asked handing him a toothpick star that Jazz made in second grade.

"i bought her a necklace in Moscow I think she'll like."

I nodded. "I have no clue for E."

He laughed. "Little sister, you're running out of time. We open presents in a few hours."

I sighed. "I know. I'm the worst wife ever."

He chuckled and plopped onto the couch next to me. "Not the worst. You've been preoccupied."

I nodded and we looked up at the tree. "You forgot the star at the top," I said softly.

He was quiet. "That was always Dad's."

I rested my head on his shoulder and looked up at the tree some more. Every ornament was either decades old or something we kids had made in school. The lights were ancient and it seemed like half the time, they didn't work. The old tree stand and skirt had been Dad's parents and we'd inherited it when they both died. It was a hand-me-down type of thing, but it was ours. A Swan family tradition.

My gaze turned to the stockings and the ache in my chest throbbed. "I kept telling Dad I'd make him a stocking and I never did," I said softly. "How shit does that make me?"

"You were busy, B," said Emmett softly, rubbing my arm. "Don't think about the things we didn't do, focus on the things we did. Remember the Christmas mornings where we'd open presents and then he'd make a huge breakfast that was practically inedible."

I grinned. "We were always starving by the time we got to the Cullen's and Esme thought it was just the excitement."

He nodded and I could feel him chuckling under me. "Remember how Dad always got a box of chocolates from Aunt Betty? She never knew what to get him."

I laughed. "He didn't have the heart to tell her he hated them."

We sat in silence then, remembering happy Christmases past.

"Hello?"

We looked up and smiled. Everyone else was getting home at the same time, Alice and Jasper from school, E from work and Rose from the store. There was a flurry of greetings, unloading and shedding of coats and scarves. E bent over and gave me a quick kiss before heading into our room to drop his stuff off. Alice and Jasper disappeared upstairs and returned a minute later, joining me on the couch.

"We need more seating," commented Rose as she settled onto Emmett's lap in Dad's chair.

E laughed and picked me up before sitting down and pulling me into his own lap. "I kind of like having B on my lap, actually. More seating would mean I couldn't get away with it."

Emmett grinned. "Yeah, you don't like sitting on my lap?"

Rose rolled her eyes and settled back against Emmett's chest. "I do, but do you like being squished under your house of a wife?"

"I really do." He beamed at her and kissed her temple, his arms wrapping around her and resting on her belly. He'd missed out on so much of the pregnancy he could barely keep his hands off her stomach whenever she was around.

"We should plug the tree in and turn off the lights to see how it looks," said Alice suddenly.

Jasper pushed himself off the couch and crawled under the tree to plug it in. That had always been his task as the youngest. Alice waddled over to the light switch and flipped it off.

The tree glowed in the dim room. Something wasn't quite right about it but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The fire was going, the stockings were hung, the tree was decorated. Other than Dad, I couldn't figure out what was missing.

Edward's POV

B and I were awakened Christmas morning by Alice launching herself onto the bed as best she could. She was laughing as she wriggled in between us.

"Time to get up," she sang. "It's Christmas morning."

B groaned. "I was hoping I could sleep in until I actually had real kids to wake me up."

Alice giggled. "Well, you've got me and Jazz, so get up."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes blearily. "Where is Jazz anyway?"

She grinned. "He's waking Emmett and Rose." Just then, we heard a crash from upstairs and shouting.

We hurried into the living room and looked up the stairs. Emmett was coming down with Jazz thrown over his shoulder. He stopped when he saw us and sighed. "I was going to throw him in with you two."

"We got Alice," B laughed.

"Presents!" shouted Alice, plopping down on the couch like a kid. "I wanna open presents."

B rolled her eyes. "Yes sweetie. Did you go potty first?"

"I did." Alice beamed up at us and I couldn't help but laugh. She was playing the role of excited child so well. Sometimes we forgot that even though she was six months pregnant, Alice was still really just a child.

B chuckled and headed into the kitchen to start breakfast. Emmett started to sort the gifts, making piles for each of us in various places around the room. I put B's on the floor by the couch and settled myself beside it. She reappeared a few minutes later with a tray of hot chocholate for everyone.

Rose scowled as she settled into Charlie's chair. "Why are we up so early?"

"To practice for our own kids?" shrugged B, easing herself onto the couch behind me.

Rose snorted. "My kids will be locked in their rooms until Mommy and Daddy are ready to get up."

In spite of her grumpy Gus attitude, though, Rose got as much into the gift opening as Jasper and Alice. It was a more subdued Christmas than ones past. At one point, B got up and left the room. I followed her into our room and found her sitting on the edge of the bed crying.

"B?"

She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I keep thinking it'll get easier and it doesn't."

I sat beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She curled into my chest, shaking with her tears. "It's not fair," she sobbed. "Why couldn't someone who had nothing die instead?"

I stroked her hair. I'd wondered the same thing myself dozens of times over the past few months. Hell, thousands of times. Then again, if not for all that, there'd be no babies and B and I would still be just friends.

"There's no explaining the greater mysteries of the universe," I said finally. "I mean, some good has come out of it. Focus on the good, B, and forget about the bad."

She was still crying. "The bad is that he's not here and its hard to forget that, especially living in his house."

I nodded. I had a perfectly good house on the other side of town that was sitting empty but none of us could bring ourselves to leave. I didn't want to sell it just yet, it was pretty good storage for now, but I knew we'd most likely never live in it. Plus, it had been Tanya's house.

"Something's missing," she said finally, wiping her eyes. "Something is off and I can't figure it out."

I rubbed her arm thoughtfully. "Well, everyone's sad, so that could be part of it."

She nodded slowly. "I think it's the wonder of Christmas, you know? The childish glee you get every year, no matter how old you are. We're not gleeful. We're all just kind of going through the motions."

We sat in silence for a bit, listening to the quiet murmur of voices in the other room. She sighed softly. "I don't want to do holidays without him, E."

"I know." I kissed her temple and rested my cheek on her head. "I don't either."

Even though Charlie Swan wasn't my dad, or really family growing up, he'd always been a part of every birthday and holiday celebration. It had always been the Cullen/Swan/Black family. I'd spent every birthday and holiday since I could remember with those two families and it seemed weird that one of them was now completely altered. I mean, it wasn't like any of us were under the delusions that our parents would live forever, but we expected them to live to a ripe old age, bouncing grandbabies on their knees and swapping fishing stories they'd told a million times. I expected them to be at my children's weddings and graduations. I'd expected another thirty years at least from Charlie, possibly more. B was looking at around fifty without him.

B looked up at me then. "We should go see your parents. Jake and Billy will be there for dinner, but it'd be nice to have some time with just us."

I nodded and smiled. It would be nice to have some two on two time.

***

Tali: And that, dear readers, is how I discovered there is no Santa: I peeked around the corner of the stairs when I was about 4 and saw my parents stuffing the stockings. I wasn't raised to believe in any of that stuff, Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, any of it, so when my best friend was telling me about Santa I had to investigate. I told her in Sunday School the next Sunday and her mom got so upset. I was ruining childhood for her daughter. My mom came back with "Well, we choose not to lie to our children."

Random note, the toothpick star is based on an actual ornament my little brother made years ago. We don't put up a tree anymore because of how much effort it takes, but he was so proud of that damn thing I decided to write it in. a lot of our ornaments are handmade by us and we can remember a lot of the stories behind them. My older brother attempting to make a clothespin ornament after everyone went to bed and spilling glue on the carpet he then decided to vacuum up with a central vacuum system is the most popularly told one.

I'm struggling with the holidays this year. My birthday is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and that's going to be a real bitch, but I'll be with my immediate family so I think I'll be mostly ok. Christmas, though, is with my in-laws and we're traveling to Mississippi and Tennessee, so that'll be really rough. My dad's request for Christmas this year was that everyone be together. I feel like I'll be letting him down by not being there.


	24. Chapter 24

Bella's POV

_I stood on the edge of the high dive, my toes curled over the edge and my heart pounding. I took a deep breath and double checked that Daddy was still standing there watching. Emmett and Jazz were there, too, looking up at me expectantly. I suddenly felt like I was really high up, higher than it looked from the ground. My heart beat picked up a little as I took the proper diving position, knees bent, body curved, arms above me in a point. I slowly leaned over and let gravity take control. _

_At first, everything was great. I felt like I was flying, my hair blowing back from my face. My face. I remembered at the last second I was supposed to tuck my chin down. Too late, though, as my face smacked into the water hard, knocking my breath out. _

_I sank towards the bottom, stunned and in pain. I hadn't expected that in the slightest. I'd done so well diving off the sides and from the low dive. I finally regained myself and started kicking towards the surface, using my arms to push me forward. My face stung and my lungs burned. When I broke through the surface, I gulped in huge gasps of air and felt arms grabbing me. Daddy was holding me against him. _

_"Are you ok?" he asked anxiously. I realized I was crying then, my face and lungs still throbbing. _

_I nodded and wiped at my eyes with frustration. "I forgot to tuck my chin in," I blubbered, annoyed with myself for crying over something so silly. _

_"Well, it was pretty cool," offered Emmett. "I'm too nervous to try diving off the high dive, so you're up on that, little sister."_

_I gave him a wobbly smile. _

_"Well, other than your chin, that was a great dive, Bella," beamed Leslie, my swim instructor. "Come on, let's get some gummy worms from the concession stand for you before you head home." _

"So no more bed rest?" I could barely contain myself.

Dr. Grant laughed. "Not unless you do something absurd. You've only got another few weeks, so if you go into labor now, we'll just deliver."

"Hallelujah," muttered E beside me. I elbowed him playfully.

"I haven't been that bad, have I?" I teased.

He rolled his eyes but was grinning anyways. "No, not too bad." He winked at me.

"We should celebrate my liberation," I said as we drove home.

E looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Like what? Dinner?"

I shook my head. "No, something we can all do that's kind of…out there."

"You have something in mind don't you."

"I do." I grinned. "Let's go get everyone and head out to La Push."

He shrugged and headed towards the house. Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch watching a football game while Alice did homework and Rosalie was trying to clean.

"I'm off bed rest," I announced, coming in the door. It was met with sounds of approval and some hugs. I was huge and we girls couldn't exactly hug anymore, so the guys had to take over that aspect. "I've got an idea for something we can do to celebrate."

Rose raised an eyebrow at me. "I've already cut off my hair."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Not that. This is something everyone can do and enjoy. Family bonding and all that shit."

Jasper rubbed his chin. "What is it?"

"Well," I settled into Dad's chair. "Today is Dad's birthday. Something he always wanted to do but never did is that whole Polar Bear Club thing."

Emmett's eyes widened. "Shit, I forgot about that. You want to go swimming in January?"

Alice gasped. "It's freezing out, Bella."

I nodded. "Hence the name." I looked around the room and was met with some resistance. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you all stay here and be sticks in the mud. I'm going and I'm going to swim for Dad." I hauled myself out of my seat and headed into my room to grab a suit. Luckily I had a bikini. I'd be popping out all over, but I'd put on a t-shirt over it.

I wriggled into it and pulled one of E's shirts over my head and a pair of jeans on before stuffing my feet into some shoes. I grabbed my cell phone and called the Blacks.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake," I grinned. "I'm coming out to La Push in a bit and thought you might like to see me."

"Sure," he sounded surprised. "Why are you coming out here? I thought you were on bed rest."

"I'm off," I grinned. "I'm also going to become an unofficial member of the Polar Bear Club this afternoon. Wanna come with?"

Jake roared with laughter. "You? You're going to go swimming in January?"

"I am."

"The coldest girl ever?"

"Shut up and yes."

"I don't believe it."

"Then come along and watch," I grinned. "It should be fun."

"I'll definitely be there. Pick me up."

"No problem."

Jake's POV

I scuffed my feet in the dirt, hunched against the cold. It wasn't bothering me that much, but I hated when it got up my shirt. I was still skeptical that Bells would actually get in the water but we'd see. I grinned when I saw Edward's car pull into the drive. Bells was sitting in the front seat and I could see the familiar red halter neck of her suit sticking out the neck of her shirt.

She climbed out and I shook my head as I pulled her into a hug. She seemed to have gotten bigger since Christmas. She looked up at me with a grin. "You ready?"

"Me? Are _you_ ready is the question."

She laughed. "Let's do it before I lose my nerve."

I scooped her up and carried her towards the beach, grinning at Edward over my shoulder. "Hey man, how's it going?"

He laughed and followed. "Not bad. Are you getting in?"

"I will if she does."

"I'm doing it," Bells said stubbornly.

"Bitch," I heard Rosalie grumbling behind me. I laughed and looked over my shoulder.

"Are you doing this too?"

"We all are," Jasper sighed. "B is nothing if not determined."

I grinned. This was going to be awesome if everyone did it. It didn't take long before the seven of us were on First Beach. I set Bells down and every stripped off outer clothing until we were all standing in our suits and looking out at the grey water. Bells shivered beside me and reached over, taking my hand.

"We should go first," she decided. She grinned up at me and started towards the beach.

I laughed. "Best to do it at a run," I said, grabbing her up in my arms again and surging into the water.

She squealed and hugged me tighter, her belly pressed against my chest. I released her legs when we were deep enough and she plunged into the water, pulling me with her. We came up spluttering and shivering and laughing. We looked back towards the beach and saw that Jasper had grabbed up Alice and Edward and Emmett were carrying Rose into the water behind him. We splashed around for a few minutes before everyone ran out of the water and grabbed the clothing we'd discarded, pulling it on fast.

Bells grinned up at me as we headed back towards the house. "I did it. I think that means I'm up on you, Jake."

I groaned. She was right.

"Up?" Edward looked confused.

Bells laughed. "We used to dare each other to do all sorts of crazy shit and if you did it, you got a point. Last dare we were even and I dared Jake to go skinny dipping and he dared me to swim in the winter. He hasn't done it yet and I have, so I'm one up."

I frowned. "Well, I'm already wet…" I pulled off my clothes again, tossing them at Bells and ran into the waves to shouts of laughter. I dunked a couple times, then came out, covering myself with my hands. Bells was practically doubled over in laughter while Alice looked stunned. Everyone else was either shaking their heads in disbelief or laughing, too.

Edward threw my shirt and pants at me and I pulled them back on, then hooked an arm around Bells' neck.

"And now, we're even, Munchkin."

She rolled her eyes. "I dare you to give birth."

"I dare you to grow a penis."

She quirked an eyebrow at me. "If I have a son, I totally win that dare."

"Shit, I didn't think of that."

She grinned at me as we headed back towards the house.

***

Tali: I totally face planted the only time I dove off the high dive. I've not been brave enough to do it since and that was like, 18 years ago. Ugh…I'm so old…lol

I've never been swimming outdoors in the winter, but I'm not totally opposed to it. I mean, winter in Texas is nothing compared to winter up north. We'll see if I ever do it. Dad, so far as I know, never had any such desire.


	25. Chapter 25

Emmet's POV

_I sat with my head in my hands. "We are so fucked."_

_"No kidding," Edward groaned, slumped in the seat beside me. _

_We sat in silence, just waiting. Luckily, we'd been arrested on a day that the drunk tank was empty, so it was just us in the cell. _

_"Fuck," Edward groaned, leaning forward and pulling on his hair. "What if I get kicked out for this?"_

_I snorted. "Kicked out of college for being picked up in a piss-ant town like Forks for under-age drinking?"_

_He shrugged. "You never know," he mumbled. "Plus, what about medical school? You know I've got that whole special enrollment thing going on to go through school faster."_

_I rubbed my face. "Shit. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't think we'd get caught sitting in the fucking woods."_

_He nodded but didn't say anything. _

_"Boys." _

_We grimaced. Dad was here. I stood up and sighed. Edward stood up, too. Dad studied us from the other side of the bars. I winced when I noticed B and Jazz standing sleepily behind him. _

_"You had to bring them?" I asked with a sigh._

_Dad's eyes narrowed. "I couldn't leave them home alone, they're 13 and 8." _

_"We'd've been fine, Dad," yawned B. "It's not like we're going to go get tattoos or something at 2 in the morning."_

_I grinned in spite of myself. Leave it to B to lighten the mood. Slightly. _

Edward paced nervously in the hallway while the doctor checked B.

"Seriously, sit the fuck down, your making me sick," Rose grumbled. She rubbed her side and winced.

"You ok?" I asked curiously.

She shot me a glare. "No. Your spawn is trying to kick its way out of me."

"Need me to rub something?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Touch me and die."

I held up my hands in surrender. The door opened then and Edward disappeared inside. I sat back in my seat and grabbed a magazine from the pile that Alice had in her bag. She was chewing on a baby carrot pretty contentedly. I wondered why Rose couldn't be that calm. Jazz was stretched across several chairs asleep. B going into labor in the middle of the fucking night screwed with everyone's sleeping schedule. It was amazing Rose and I had even been here. We were supposed to head back to Seattle yesterday but Rose hadn't been feeling very well so we stayed.

Rose started pacing now, rubbing the small of her back and rolling her head on her shoulders. "Shit I feel awful. Think they might let me lay down somewhere?"

"I can ask," I said, standing up and heading towards the nurse's station.

"Dammit." I turned and Rose was scowling at the floor. "My water just broke. I'm in labor, too, now."

Bella's POV

I relaxed slightly and rolled my head to the side to see the newest arrival in my room. My jaw dropped when I saw Rose, her hair already plastered to the sides of her face.

"No fucking way," I said, pushing myself up. "You too?"

She nodded. "Yeah, apparently I'm moving faster than you, too." Her face screwed up. I felt a little jealous that she was moving along faster. I'd been here for hours already and felt like I was getting nowhere.

We both huffed and puffed for a while before they finally wheeled Rose out. I wanted to kick her. Forty-five minutes? Bitch.

Edward came in then with a cup of ice chips. I scowled at it but popped some in my mouth. I was so thirsty. Before too long it was my turn to push.

Jasper's POV

I was pacing now. If this was how stressful having a baby was, I was seriously rethinking the whole thing. Alice was sleeping now, the late hour finally having caught up to her.

"It's a boy!" I heard Em shout.

I grinned and turned to him. He grabbed me in his arms and hugged me tightly, pounding on my back.

"How's B?" we asked at the same time.

He shrugged. "I've been with Rose the past hour."

I rubbed my head. "I haven't seen or heard anything from Edward since he disappeared a couple hours ago."

He stood for a moment. "Well, come see my kid."

I woke up Alice and she gathered our stuff, following behind us with a yawn. We stopped in front of a large glass window to a room full of babies. I stared at them all, a little horrified. They were all so…ugly. Em was grinning like a maniac, though, pointing at one particularly wrinkled and red baby with a blue cap on.

"That's mine," he beamed.

I craned my neck to see him. The nurse inside smiled at us and through some kind of hand motions figured out which was ours and wheeled him over. Alice pressed her face against the glass and sighed softly, looking in at him.

"He's beautiful, Em," she smiled up at him.

He grinned. "Looks just like me."

I didn't see it, but whatever.

Em led us then to the room where Rose was sitting in a bed, looking exhausted. She smiled when she saw us.

"Did you see him?"

We nodded and Alice gave her a hug. "He's beautiful," she gushed. "And you look great."

She looked like she'd been hit by a truck. Seriously, was I the only one who saw this?

We settled around the room in the few chairs and on the window ledge, talking and waiting for B now. Alice curled up in the chair and yawned, resting her head against the back of the seat and drifting to sleep. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Rose and Em were already dozing.

"Hey, here you are."

We turned and saw Edward standing in the doorway, looking exhausted. I realized with a start that we'd all been sleeping for a couple hours now.

"Well?" asked Em, standing up and stretching.

Edward grinned. "It's a girl."

Edward's POV

B looked exhausted. Beyond exhausted, really. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the pillow. "Is she pretty?"

I snorted and squeezed her hand. "She's beautiful, like she'd be anything else."

She smiled faintly and squeezed back. "Can I see her again?"

"You'd have to open your eyes for that, babe."

She stuck her tongue out at me but opened her eyes. She yawned. "I'm so tired."

I nodded and sat next to her on the bed. The others were oohing and ahhing over her and Em's baby in the nursery window. Rosalie's room was being prepped for B to be moved in. They figured sharing a room wouldn't be the worst thing at this point.

The nurse came in then and transferred B to a wheelchair and I pushed her down the hall to Rose's room. She smiled at Rose as she carefully crawled into the bed. It wasn't too long before everyone else joined us and the nurses came after them with the two plastic bassinettes. I beamed at the one with my daughter in it. Mom and Dad were on their way up and I knew Billy would be close behind them.

"So what are their names?" asked Jasper curiously.

Rose and Em exchanged a glance then looked at me and B.

"You first, yours is older," grinned B.

Emmett carefully picked up the tiny blue swaddled infant and turned to the rest of the room. "I'd like to introduce Charles Emmett Swan," he said proudly.

B sucked in her breath. "Charles?"

He nodded. "Charlie for short."

She chuckled softly. "We named ours after Dad, too."

The others looked confused. I grinned and picked up my daughter. "Cecilia Skipper Cullen."

Rose frowned. "Your dad's middle name was Skipper?"

Jasper was chuckling. "Yeah. It's a family name. His mom was the only one who called him that."

"No one's calling her Skipper, though," B sounded almost fierce. "We're going with Ceci."

That raised more eyebrows but I didn't care. Ceci was beautiful.

Bella's POV

I sat in the quiet room and studied Ceci. She was snuffling against me sleepily and I could hear Charlie on the other side of the curtain doing the same with Rose. I sighed and wiped away a couple of tears. It was killing me that Dad wasn't here for this. I closed my eyes and lightly pressed my face against Ceci's head.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we open the damn curtain? I feel like I'm in a tent."

I chuckled softly and climbed out of the bed carefully and pulled the curtain back. Rose smiled at me and I saw tears in her eyes, too. She scooted over on the bed and I carefully joined her, resting my head on her shoulder as we studied our children.

I sighed. "Shit, Rose, what am I supposed to do with a girl? I don't know anything about girls."

She laughed. "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Wanna trade?" I grinned.

"I think the guys would notice the gender swap. Plus, Ceci already has Edward's hair."

I grinned and played with the bronze fluff. "Yeah. She's so pretty, even all red."

Rose chuckled and sighed. "I wish he were here."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Me too." I wiped at a couple of tears and then started laughing softly when I saw Rose crying without shame. "You're going to get your kid all salty."

She shrugged. "He'll survive."

***

Tali: So, legally, I can't say much about the memory. It's based on true events, and that may be pushing it…lol

My dad's middle name was Skipper and his family called him that because he and his dad had the same first name. Close family friends from before he left home still called him Skip or Skipper until he died. My plan is to give that name as a second middle name to one of my children, probably the first. His first name has already been passed down to my oldest brother and his oldest son, so we're set on that.

Also, Ceci is the name of one of my really good friends. I've already informed her that I want to name one of my children Cecilia and call her Ceci. I'm not sure that'll actually happen, so I've got Ceci here.

When my niece was born in July, it was a home birth (yes, on purpose) and my mom and I were there to witness it. About five or ten minutes after full separation, my mom was holding her and meeting her and started crying, remembering how excited my dad was about her. She is his fifth biological grandchild and the excitement and joy never waned with each successive child. My mom pressed her face against L's and my brother and I wrapped our arms around her and each other and cried for a bit before my brother broke the tension somewhat by complaining that Mom was making his kid all salty. I get a little choked up every time I see her, but my brother is convinced that our dad is watching over her. She smiles and laughs at nothing and gives all of us looks of almost disgust. We like to think that the nothing she's looking at is Dad making this one face he always did for the babies. I find myself doing it now…


	26. Chapter 26

Emmett's POV

_I cocked my head, listening to the woman on the TV. _

_"We repeat, there is a storm heading towards the Forks area. If you are in the Forks area, you might want to take cover against high winds."_

_My eyes widened. We were in the Forks area. I looked out the window and saw the trees were whipping around like crazy. _

_"Bella?" I called, standing up. _

_"Up here," she called back faintly. I rushed up the stairs and saw her and Jazz in their room playing with her Barbies. _

"_Come on, we have to hide," I said, grabbing Jazz up from the floor. He clung to me alarmed. _

_"Hide?" asked Bella, also alarmed. "Why do we have to hide?" she held on to her Barbie and followed me downstairs. I opened the door to the closet under the stairs and crowded them inside. "Emmett?"_

_"A big storm is coming," I said, pulling the door shut behind me. Jazz looked up at me, his eyes wide and scared. "We have to hide in here until it passes."_

_"What about Daddy?"_

_"He's out at the store, remember?" _

_Jazz started to cry then. "Daddy," he wailed. _

_Bella looked at him then up at me. "Are you sure it's that big of a deal? Daddy wouldn't have left if it was that big of a deal."_

_"The lady on TV said to take cover."_

_She sighed and sat down on the floor, pulling Jazz into her lap. He was still crying. I stuck my head out the door and darted upstairs. I grabbed the pillows and blanket off Bella's bed and brought them downstairs to the closet. I stuffed them in the door and headed back up to the closet in the hall and grabbed more pillows and blankets. _

_When I got back down, Bella had made a little nest of sorts and she and Jazz were cuddled up, his head in the nook of her shoulder and neck and sucking his thumb. I draped a blanked over them and settled on the other side of Jazz from Bella. She gave me a look. _

"_You shouldn't be too worried. Daddy wouldn't go out if there was something bad going on."_

_I shook my head. "What if he didn't know?"_

"_Dads know everything." A loud crash of thunder shook the house and the light bulb flickered above us. "I'm sure he'll be fine, though."_

I stared down at my son, aggravated. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and I couldn't figure out why. He was clean, he was full, he'd been sleeping until about five minutes ago and now, he was up and screaming. I tried switching arms and nothing.

"What's going on?"

I looked up and saw Rose standing in the doorway. I shook my head.

"I don't know. I think he hates me. Why don't I know how to take care of my own child?"

She sighed. "Emmett, none of us know what the hell we're doing. Let's just hope he doesn't wake up Ceci." She crossed the room and took him from me. She settled in the rocking chair and started to rock him, singing softly. I sat on the floor at her feet and looked up at her.

Gradually, Charlie quieted and made quiet little snuffling noises. Rose kept rocking and I sighed.

"I suck at this."

She chuckled. "You're a new parent to a 3-week old baby. You're exhausted and still in the middle of grieving your father. You don't suck."

I reached over and cupped her calf, rubbing my thumb up and down her skin. "I love you, Rose."

I felt her hand on my head. "I love you, too."

"Everyone ok?"

We looked up and saw Edward standing in the doorway, his hair standing up all over the place. I nodded and sighed. "I'm a crap dad."

Rose kicked me and Edward smiled. "Join the club." He yawned and crossed towards us, leaning over and looking at Charlie. "B's the only one who can quiet Ceci sometimes. I think she hates me."

He settled down next to me. "Though sometimes, she sleeps on me and it's just…" he stopped and grinned "amazing."

I grinned. "I know what you mean."

"Is this an exclusive party or can anyone come?" teased Bella from the doorway. Edward waved her in and carefully took Ceci from her. She waved her arms slightly but settled against his chest, fast asleep. Bella yawned. "So what's up?"

"Apparently all of us," I sighed. "Seriously, how did Dad do this on his own?"

"Dad didn't have newborns on his own. We were all pretty vocal when Renee left." She settled on the dresser and drummed her heels lightly against the drawers. "Plus, he had Esme and Carlisle and Billy to help out some."

"Hey guys?"

We looked at the door, guiltily. Apparently young Charles had woken up everyone in the house. Jasper stood there, his face pale.

"Did we wake you?" Rose sounded guilty.

"Um, yeah, but that's not the problem. Alice's water broke."

Jasper's POV

Alice looked so tiny in the bed, her face flushed and dark circles under her eyes. She was staring off into space when I came in.

"Alice?"

She rolled over and reached for me. I crawled into the bed with her and sighed against her neck. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I can't be a mom right now. You see how hard it is for the others. I'm not ready for that."

I rubbed her arm and curled around her carefully. "We can try if you want."

She shook her head. "I think it'll be harder if we try it and it doesn't work than if we give him up now."

"Ok. Whatever you want to do, I'll support."

She was crying then and I pressed my face against her shoulder. She shifted awkwardly in the bed and pressed her face into my neck, crying harder. I wrapped my arms around her and cried into her hair.

Bella's POV

I stared at the tiny boy with the shock of dark hair sucking on his fist in the nursery. He was beautiful and my heart ached to keep him. Emmett came and stood beside me, slipping his arm around my waist.

"I wish there was something we could do."

I nodded. "I offered, but they want to either do it all on their own or not at all, I guess. I hope this isn't something they regret."

"They will," he said softly. We watched the baby sleeping. "He has Dad's nose, too."

I chuckled. "How can you tell? He's still puffy."

"An uncle knows."

I grinned. "He's definitely a Swan, though. Look at him sleep and eat at the same time."

Emmett laughed and squeezed me against him. "So how are you, anyway?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, turning to rest a hip against the ledge. "I'm ok. Better than I deserve."

He grinned. "Aren't we all." He leaned his back against the window and studied a picture hanging on the opposite wall.

"It's been a truly fucked up year, hasn't it."

"Amen to that." I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Dad dying, me dropping out of school, getting married, three pregnancies, three births…what else can happen?"

"Well, no one else is allowed to die, that's for sure. I'll kick their asses."

I laughed and poked him in the side. "Yes, because you can do that. And it will have the desired reaction."

He pushed my head lightly. We started back up the hallway towards the waiting room. "How are you?" I asked, looking up at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, I guess. I'm out, now, so I can do whatever I want for a while. I'm thinking I'll spend the next few months with Rose and Charlie and just be around. Then I'll start taking some classes and maybe get a degree in something."

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "Business? I have no clue."

I grinned. "You think you'll ever come back to Forks?"

He was quiet. "I'd like to, to be honest. Family's here, you know? But Rose's job is in Seattle."

"You might talk to her about it, Em. She might surprise you."

He nodded. We'd reached the waiting room and Edward and Rose were sitting holding the babies. Bella's face softened when she saw Edward and Ceci.

She was so tiny in his arms, but the bronzy down on her head definitely marked her as Edward's daughter. She was holding onto his finger tightly with one tiny fist, her fingers barely wrapping around his.

Rose made my heart melt as she held Charlie. He had Rose's fine blond hair and my large frame. He was a couple of pounds bigger than Ceci already, something I was immensely proud of. Bella liked to point out that Ceci was normal and Charlie was just big.

I sat down beside Rose and she gladly handed over Charlie. She stood and stretched. "I'm going to the bathroom," she announced. Bella nodded and followed after her.

Edward and I sat in silence for a bit.

"So how is he?"

"Beautiful."

He nodded. "Have you seen the Brandons?"

I shook my head. "Not since they went into Alice's room."

He nodded again. "I wish…" he stopped and sighed. "I think they're brave."

I nodded this time. I couldn't imagine giving up my son.

Alice's POV

I sat tiredly on the edge of the bed. Mom was bustling around the room, keeping up a steady stream of chatter as she packed up the stuff in the room that went home with me. Dad was sitting in a chair looking uncomfortable.

"Did you see him?" I asked suddenly.

Mom stopped and looked at me. "See who?"

"My son."

"Well, no, why would we?"

"Because he's my son."

She was quiet for a moment before she sat down on the edge of the bed next to me. "Sweetie, he's not really yours anymore. You gave him up."

She reached for my hand and I pulled it away. "You didn't even want to see your own grandson?"

She sighed. "I think it would be too hard, sweetheart."

"I want to be emancipated," I said suddenly.

Mom sucked in her breath. "What?"

"I want to be emancipated. Rose and Bella and Jasper were talking about it for him, since his mom isn't around and isn't likely to come back soon and I want to be emancipated."

Now it was her turn to pull back. "But we're here, we love you and want you."

I sighed and rubbed my face. "I think it'll be easier if I'm emancipated. I don't want to come back home, I want to stay with Jasper."

"Are you two talking about getting married?" asked Dad sharply.

I shook my head. "No, we want to finish school first. Maybe we'll get married in college, but not now. I just…I want to be emancipated."

***

Tali: When I was about 5 or 6 and my little brother was 2 or 3, a huge storm was blowing into our town. My mom ran to the grocery store a few blocks away and left my older brother, then about 12, in charge. He FLIPPED out and grabbed us, stuffing us in the closet under the stairs and telling us that anything we wanted to save needed to be in the closet but everything else was pretty much a goner. My little brother realized my parents weren't in the closet and started crying. I was a little more reasonable and pointed out Mom wouldn't have gone to the store if it meant she was going to die.


	27. Chapter 27

Bella's POV

_I shivered in the cold rain, crowding closer to Angela and Ben as we waited for the light to change so we could cross the street to the parking lot. _

_"Why the fuck is the parking lot across the street?" I grumbled._

_Ben rolled his eyes. "Because the designers of Forks High hate us?"_

_I scowled. Finally the light changed and we sloshed across the street. Our feet were beyond wet, so we didn't even bother trying to avoid puddles anymore. We had just gotten to the other side of the street when a car blew past and sent a puddle of water at least ten feet into the air, drenching me and a few others unlucky enough to be on the outside of the group crossing the street. Angela and Ben stared at me open mouthed as I stood there, stunned, the dirty water dripping off my hair and fingers. _

_"Dude…that was kind of awesome," Ben grinned. _

_I glared at him and flicked water in his direction. "Asshole."_

_"You can't ride in my car soaked like that," said Angela, a grin playing on her lips. "You'll have to wring out your clothes or something."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Let's just go. Jazz is getting out soon and I have to get him."_

_She chuckled as I squished towards the car. Fucking Forks and its fucking rain. I could not _wait_ to get out of this damn town. _

I rocked Ceci tiredly. I was exhausted. No, exhausted wasn't strong enough for how I felt. I couldn't think of a strong enough word, that's how bad it was. She was up every three hours like clockwork and while we tried to take turns, E just wasn't equipped to feed her and I didn't feel like I really had the hang of it just yet so I wanted to nurse as often as I could. Rose swore by the breast pump, saying it was one of the greatest inventions ever, but I was nervous about using it. It kind of freaked me out to be honest.

I looked up when I heard the front door open and close quietly. E had just left to pick up dinner, so that must mean it was Jasper and Alice. I stood up and carefully placed Ceci in her cradle. She, thankfully, didn't stir. I tiptoed out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me.

"Hey guys," I smiled at them.

Alice looked up, dark circles under her eyes. "Hey," she said dully.

I pulled her into a hug and she leaned against me, holding tightly. I rubbed her back and sighed. "Bad day?"

She nodded and took a deep shuddering breath. "Yeah."

I smoothed her hair. "Wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head. "No."

I looked at Jazz and he shook his head, heading upstairs with their bags. I sighed softly. "I'm here when you need me."

She nodded and released me, following Jasper upstairs. I watched them go with a pang in my chest. High school was hard enough without having to deal with the shit that other students could give you over being pregnant or a teenage parent. She'd given up cheerleading, something I knew she loved, and apparently the other girls on the squad were treating her like shit. Bitches. I hated cheerleaders for a reason. These girls were the stereotype in the flesh.

I sighed and headed into the kitchen to set the table. None of us had much energy these days so there was little cooking going on. From what we heard from Seattle, it was much the same down there: lots of take out and convenience foods. Not like Rose was much of a cook before and Emmett was used to the shit they called food in the Marines, but still.

I was pulling the plates out of the cabinet when I heard that familiar cry. I groaned and headed to my room. I picked up Ceci out of the cradle and sat back in the rocking chair, offering her my breast. She immediately latched on, thank God, and started nursing. I shifted slightly and sighed with relief. Finally, I'd done something right today.

"Bella?"

I looked up and Alice was standing in the doorway looking hesitant.

"Hey Alice, come on in."

She came in nervously and perched on the edge of the bed. "Can Jazz and I watch her for you for a night so you can go out and we can…pretend?"

I looked at her with surprise. "Really?"

She twisted her fingers in her skirt. "Yeah. I just…" she flushed. "I want to try to be a parent so I can see that I made the right choice."

I chuckled softly. "Are you sure?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure about anything anymore. I miss my son and every day I think I should change my mind. I've got 90 days from his birth."

I was quiet. "Well, ok. I can pump some milk for you. When do you want to do it?"

"Maybe Friday? You and Edward could kind of continue your honeymoon."

I laughed. "I think a night away from Ceci would be spent sleeping."

She grinned. "Well, that's all I heard happened on your honeymoon."

I winked. "Someday, you'll get to have your own honeymoon. Then I'll tell you about mine."

Edward's POV

I was half asleep but Ceci was wide awake, crying. I checked my watch. 4 am. Shit. This was so frustrating. When Emmett and Rosalie were still here, Charlie was the difficult one. Apparently, Ceci felt like she had to step up and take that over. Somehow, B was sleeping through all this. I guess handling her all day long all by herself was tiring that she could sleep now.

I rocked back and forth in Charlie's chair and closed my eyes. Ceci's cries seemed to be getting softer and I hoped she'd eventually fall asleep. I finally stood up and crossed to the stereo system and rummaged around until I found a cd labeled "Classical." That always helped me relax. I popped it in and turned it on, turning the volume down low. I stretched out on the floor and set Ceci beside me carefully, pulling a couch cushion down to pillow my head.

The song that started playing made me grin. The _1812 Overture_, one of Charlie's favorites. I made a move to get up and switch to something quieter but miraculously, Ceci was quieting, sucking on her fist. She lay staring up at me, my own eyes in the head of something so small. Gradually, her eyelids drooped and before long, her long dark lashes, her mom's lashes, were lightly resting on her plump cheeks as she slept. She looked like a tiny doll. I rested my hand lightly on her stomach and held my head in my hand, my elbow propped on the floor and smiled at her. My daughter.

Jasper's POV

I stumbled downstairs early the next morning and froze on the bottom step. Classical music was playing softly and Edward was asleep on the floor with Ceci asleep next to him. He had a pillow off the couch and his hand was resting on her stomach while she slept peacefully, her hands holding on tightly to his thumb and forefinger. I swallowed hard and headed back upstairs.

I could hear Alice in the shower so I ducked into our room and grabbed my digital camera before heading back downstairs. I knew B would love a picture of this, as would everyone else. We got seemingly dozens of pictures emailed to us every day from Emmett, B complained we weren't keeping up with them so we all had cameras to capture the moments of Ceci's life.

Alice cried every night over our son. We'd never picked out a name and that seemed somewhat easier. I didn't know what to do for her or say to her. Her suggestion of taking Ceci for a night was interesting and I'd been shocked when B and Edward had gone for it, but I wasn't going to complain. If she could see how hard it was to be in charge all the time instead of once in a while with back-up, maybe she'd feel some sort of relief or maybe she'd finally make up her mind about what she wanted to do. She kept waffling, some days saying she wanted him back and was going to get him, others saying she wanted him back but he was better off.

School and work were hell, I couldn't imagine us actually having a baby there with us that was just ours to take care of. It was rough enough living in the same house as an infant, having two would be the pits.

I tossed the camera on the couch and headed into the kitchen to start breakfast. Mostly we had toast or cereal, something easy. I was relieved that B was at least remembering to buy milk, bread and cereal. Most everything else was gone from the cabinets. I poured a bowl of cereal and sat at the table to eat it. Alice appeared a moment later, her face crumpled. She'd seen Edward and Ceci on the floor.

I stood up wordlessly and pulled her into a hug. She pressed her face against me but didn't cry this time. I rubbed her back as she took a few deep breaths. She looked up at me, a wobbly smile on her face.

"I'll be ok."

I nodded and poured her a bowl of cereal. We ate in silence. I headed upstairs to get showered and dressed before we headed out to school.

Alice's POV

I rinsed our bowls and set them in the drainer. My bag was by the front door and I was ready to go. Usually, I spent the fifteen or so minutes Jasper took to get ready reading or watching the news. I wandered into the living room and studied the two of them on the floor. Edward was still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling slowly. Ceci, however, was wide awake.

She studied me with her big green eyes, sucking on her lower lip. I knelt down and carefully picked her up, cradling her against my chest. She didn't complain, just grabbed onto my hand with hers. I sat in the chair and started to rock her gently.

"Hey."

I looked up and saw a sleepy Bella standing in the doorway of their room, her hair mussed slightly. She looked a little more rested than she had the past few days. She frowned at Edward on the floor but stepped over him to turn off the music. She stepped back over him and settled on the couch.

"How are you?"

I shrugged non-committal. "Fine."

She chuckled. "Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and…something. Exhausted?"

"Sounds about right," I grinned. I looked down at Ceci. "She's beautiful."

"She's a handful." She smiled affectionately. "I wouldn't be able to do this on my own, I don't think."

I nodded and kept rocking. "Do you think I made the right choice?"

"I do." She said it quickly and confidently. "You've got a lot to deal with right now: school, emancipation, looking for a job, Jazz…I think a baby would be just a little much for you two right now. We've got the stability of being out of school. Well, Edward is. I'm doing correspondence and he's working, but neither of us is doing both so that's less stress. You two made a difficult decision and I think that for you, it was the right one."

I was quiet. "Then why does it feel like the wrong one?"

"Because you became attached. You can't carry a life inside you for 9 months or however long and not feel some sort of attachment to it."

Jazz appeared in the living room then. He looked from me to Bella to Edward, now snoring softly on the floor. "Ready to go?"

I nodded and stood up, passing Ceci to Bella. Bella smiled up at me and we headed out.

Everyone seemed convinced I'd made the right decision. Why couldn't I get there, too?

That night, I hummed to myself as I made dinner. Bella was laying down with Ceci, exhausted after running around all day and Jazz was still at work. Edward, too. It was quiet with just us girls here but it was nice, too.

I pulled the plates out of the cabinet and started setting the table for four, pleased that I was able to find some way to contribute. My parents were still incredibly hurt by my emancipation but Mom had sent me a letter saying my bank accounts were still in my name and were now officially all mine. So, my college was paid for. Bella and Edward told me I didn't have to contribute to the household finances so I didn't get a job. I knew Jasper wouldn't accept money from me for his college, he wanted to do it on his own, just like Bella did. So, I tried to help out at home, cleaning and cooking after I was done with homework. Bella appreciated it, I knew.

The phone rang as I was checking on the food. It still had a few minutes left so I grabbed the phone. Bella came in then and opened the pot, sniffing the stew.

"Smells good," she grinned as I put the phone to my ear.

I grinned back. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

"No, this is Alice."

"Alice? This is Renee. Is Bella there?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Um, yeah. Hold on." I held the phone out to Bella. She took it and covered the mouthpiece.

"Who is it?"

"Renee."

She froze, then took a deep breath. "Hello?"

I eavesdropped shamelessly, curious to hear what was being said. Bella didn't say much, just listened.

"I'll call Emmett and get them up here. Can you be here tomorrow night?"

So, Renee was coming. Interesting.

***

Tali: I know, again, the memory doesn't quite fit. It's basically to represent that high school is basically hell. It really happened, though, so there's that. My friend made me wring out my clothes as best I could while still wearing them before she'd let me in the car and then I had to sit on some old towels she had in her trunk.

Also true, Edward sleeping in the living room with Ceci. When my second older brother was born (homebirth), my dad took him to let my mom get some sleep. He pulled the cradle into the living room and set it beside the couch. He put on the record he had of The _1812 Overture_ and played that for the two of them while they slept. My mom has a picture of Dad asleep on the couch, one hand resting in the cradle beside my brother as though to say "I'm here and will always look after you."


	28. Chapter 28

Renee's POV

_"Push, Renee, push. You're doing great" _

_I glared at Charlie. He was not helping. I grunted and pushed again when the doctor instructed me to. I gasped as I fell back against the bed and heard a baby's cry piercing the air. The doctor looked up at us and his eyes crinkled at the corners above his mask. _

_"It's a girl!" he announced. _

_Charlie beamed at me. "A girl, Renee."_

"_I heard him," I sighed. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep for days. "I just don't get how something that felt so good going in felt so awful coming out."_

_The nurses and doctor chuckled and Charlie grinned down at me. He smoothed my hair back and kissed me on the forehead. "You did great, sweetie."_

_I sighed and smiled back at him. "Thanks. I guess that walk really helped."_

_The doctor looked at us, his eyebrows raised. Charlie chuckled. "Renee wanted to go on a walk to speed up the labor and when we were a few blocks from home she thought she wouldn't be able to make it back." He looked down at me affectionately. "I almost had to carry her." _

_I smiled. I knew he'd be telling that story to everyone. "Are the Cullens and Blacks in the waiting room? You should go tell them."_

_He nodded and leaned down, kissing me on the forehead before he disappeared into the hallway. A nurse put my tiny daughter in my arms. She looked up at me, squinting against the bright lights. She had dark fuzz on her head and brown eyes. I'd always heard that babies typically had blue eyes but apparently this one didn't. I smoothed the fuzz and smiled down at her. _

"_Hey monkey," I murmured. She yawned at me, her tiny tongue working in her mouth a little before she returned to her scrutiny of me. "I'm going to be the best mom I can to you, though I'm not sure how great I'll be." I cupped her head in my hand and smiled down at her. A girl. At once terrifying and exciting._

I wrapped my hands around my mug and looked across the table at my children. Bella and Jasper were sitting and Emmett was standing behind them, his arms crossed over his chest. Emmett looked so much like Charlie it was a little unnerving. Really, they all took after Charlie more than they ever had me. Jasper had my coloring and Bella had my build but that was about it. I wondered absentmindedly if a fourth child would have looked just like me.

I shifted and cleared my throat. "So you all look well."

Emmett snorted and Bella sat back, narrowing her eyes at me. "We just need you to sign some papers Renee, then you can go do your own thing and leave us alone."

I flinched. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." She looked determined, almost angry. I couldn't really blame her. I'd been blowing them off for years. I'd only seen Jasper in person maybe twice in the past 14 years. It pained me to realize that, but I couldn't change the past.

I sighed. "Can I see your father's grave before I go or am I going to be run out of town on a rail?"

"He wasn't buried," said Emmett shortly. "He was cremated."

"Oh." I vaguely remembered Charlie saying something about that years ago. I stared into my mug again. "Despite what you three may think, I did love your father very much."

"Just not enough," mumbled Jasper, staring at the table. It was the first time he'd said a word since I came in the door.

"No, not enough," I admitted. "I felt a call to help the less fortunate and I had to answer that. I tried to stay, I really did, but I just couldn't." I trailed off and stared down at the table again. I knew they wouldn't believe me if I told them how incredibly guilty I felt about leaving my children.

A baby's cry broke the uncomfortable silence and both Bella and Emmett cocked their heads.

"Mine," said Bella, standing up. She squeezed Emmett's arm as she passed him. I watched her walk out and felt a swell of pride.

The last time I'd seen Bella she'd been a skinny little 10 year old with bushy hair, freckles, knobby knees and scrapes and cuts all over her arms and legs. Charlie had laughed that she spent most of her time playing with Emmett and Edward and any other time playing with Jake and the boys out at the res. I'd had a momentary worry that she was going to stay a tomboy forever but here she was, a beautiful young woman. She'd filled out a lot since the last photo Charlie had sent me a year ago, but having a child would do that. Her dark hair was shoulder length now and seemed to be constantly pulled back. Her body had more curves than it had in the picture and she looked more content. Well, I could assume she looked more content. All I was seeing right now was anger.

She reappeared a few minutes later with a baby dressed in a lavender onsie and with a shock of bronze hair. Any doubt that she was Edward Cullen's child was immediately put to rest when she studied me with those intense green eyes she'd inherited from him.

"She's beautiful, Bella," I smiled.

She softened a little. "Thanks."

I desperately wanted to hold her but Bella hadn't offered and neither had Emmett. I hadn't even seen his son. I only knew it was a boy because of an off-hand comment from the night before. Rosalie was tending to the babies while we four sat and talked and Edward was at work. I hadn't seen him yet, either.

"So where are these papers you need me to sign," I asked tiredly. Emmett disappeared into the other room and returned with a sheaf of papers. I skimmed them before signing across the bottom. I was relinquishing my parental claim over my youngest, a child I'd only known for the first two years of his life. He was so young to be on his own, but I knew with Bella and Edward and the Cullens and Blacks around he'd be ok. The tiny little brunette, (Alice?) was also good for him. He lit up whenever she was around and she clearly adored him. I wondered some about why she was living with them but it wasn't really my place to say anything, not anymore.

I pushed the papers across the table to Bella. She scanned them and nodded. "Thanks." She looked up at me and Charlie's eyes were looking at me. She studied me for a minute then sighed.

"Come on, I'll show you where the last of his ashes are."

I raised my eyebrows. "The last of his ashes?"

"We sprinkled them around the house and sent some to the fishing hole with Billy and Carlisle but there were still some left over so we buried them."

"Oh."

She stood up and handed the baby over to Emmett and started out of the kitchen. I followed behind her and out into the yard. Spring had come to Forks and with it, the rain and mud. It wasn't raining currently, but the mud was ever present.

Bella was barefoot and didn't seem to care about the mud squelching up between her toes. I was used to being barefoot in Africa, but the ground there was bone dry. Between mud and shoes, I'd pick shoes.

I followed her carefully to a small bedraggled looking bush against the back of the house. It was starting to put out some buds that looked like they'd eventually be roses. Bella stooped and pulled up a few weeds, tossing them unceremoniously to the side.

"This is it," she said, standing up and wiping her muddy hands on her butt. "We planted the rosebush on the ashes because we heard somewhere that ashes are good for plants or something." She was staring at the bush. "We talked about planting some for the babies but we haven't done it yet. It was too cold in February and March, but now that the ground is thawing, we'll probably go ahead and do it."

I nodded. "White for the boy and pink for the girl?"

She shrugged. "We don't care much about color. This one is red but I don't know what we'll get for the other three. Probably whatever the nursery has."

"Three?" I'd only heard about two babies. Was there a twin that died?

"Jasper and Alice's son."

My jaw dropped. "Jasper had a child?"

She nodded. She turned and stared off into the woods behind the house. "They gave him up for adoption because they didn't feel like they'd be good parents. It was incredibly brave but it's been really hard for them, especially with the other two around."

I nodded. I could relate to giving up a child. I'd given up three. My heart ached to hold my son. "Is that why she lives here?"

Bella nodded again. "She moved in shortly after she found out she was pregnant. She's emancipated, too, and she and Jasper are good for each other, challenging each other to do better in school. They're looking at UW for college and Emmett and Rose have offered them their spare room."

She rubbed her forehead, streaking dirt across it. "Edward moved in here a couple weeks before we found out I was pregnant and we got married in July." She continued on, telling me about the past year with little to no emotion in her voice. I was touched to hear that they'd worn the wedding rings that Charlie and I had used, even though I knew it wasn't for any sentimental reason in regards to me. All sentiment was for Charlie.

We stood outside until dusk had fallen completely, shrouding the yard in darkness. Bella kept talking, telling me about almost losing her baby and being put on bed rest. She told me about having to drop out of college with one year to go. She told me about her brief job at the inn and some of the guests she'd encountered. She caught me up on her life and I fought back tears. I never knew what I'd given up until now.

She finally stopped and we stood in the dark, still not looking at each other. It was easier this way.

"So will I ever hear about you anymore?" I asked finally.

"Did you hear about us before?"

"Charlie sent me a letter and pictures every month."

She turned towards me and I could feel her surprise. "He did?"

"Yes. I wasn't the best mom, but he really was the best dad."

She was silent. "Leave me your address and I'll take over."

"I'd like that."

I reached over hesitantly in the darkness and took her hand. It was limp in mine for a bit before she finally squeezed.

"Why did you go?" she asked softly. "Weren't we enough?"

My heart broke at the sadness in her voice. "You were too much. I was terrified, Bella. I was a young bride, a young mother to Emmett…I wasn't ready for children at that age and then I wasn't ready for you, for a girl. I didn't know what to do with a girl. And I definitely wasn't ready for Jasper."

"I wasn't ready either but I made it work," her voice was low and emotionless.

"You're better than me. You had something I didn't: Charlie."

"You had him, Renee. You just didn't want him."

"I didn't have him, not really." I paused, not sure how to put this. "Charlie loved you three more than he loved me. It was an easy decision. We'd stopped loving each other years before I left, Bella. Jasper…Jasper was a last ditch attempt to make it all better. Don't you dare tell him that."

Bella turned and stared at me. The boys inside had turned the porch light on and I could see her face. "And me?"

"You were a surprise, but we still loved each other. It just…" I sighed. "The love faded, sweetheart. Work and children took up so much of our energy and we didn't have time for each other anymore. We went on a weekend away to try to salvage our marriage and came home with Jasper. If not for him, I'd have left sooner."

Bella stared at me in shock. "Why didn't I know this before?"

"Why should you have? You had a father who loved you and a mother who was absent. You all thought badly enough as it was about me, I'm sure he didn't want to add to that by telling you I hadn't loved him in years." I studied her. "But I always loved you three. And in a way, I always loved him, I just wasn't in love with him anymore."

Bella shook her head. "Marriage and a family aren't always about being in love. It's about making a decision to stay on days that you desperately want to leave. It's loving people you don't like. Its going through shit together and coming out on the other side stinky and angry and upset and holding on to each other with a death grip because _real_ family doesn't leave." She looked up at me sadly. "You'll truly learn what you left someday and I hope that we'll be willing to take you back then."

I stared at her, stunned. "Are you now?"

She shrugged. "I am. I've lost too much and I'm not interested in losing more. I'm not saying you'll be my mother, I've got Esme for that." I flinched. "You can be an aunt for a while, maybe move up to more, but I'm willing to try."

The words were hurtful but there was truth to them. I couldn't expect to just slide into place as a parent. An aunt sounded ok to me.

"I'd like that," I said finally.

Bella nodded and turned to go inside. I followed her and we climbed the steps. She paused at the top. "I'm not promising the boys will be as accepting, so be prepared for that."

I nodded. Anything less than open hostility would be welcome.

***

Tali: I know…another weird one. Get over it. The true stuff: The quote about good going in and bad going out. No one I know, but my mom delivered babies for years and that's one of her favorite birth stories to tell about a woman whose child she delivered. Also, the walking thing. My parents went for a walk when she was in labor with me and got to the bottom of the hill we lived on and almost didn't get back up the hill. And, I was born with brown eyes. I think I'm the only child of my parents and my siblings to be born with brown eyes, though everyone has them now.

I felt the need to explain some of where Renee was. She loved her children, she just couldn't be a mother at that stage of her life. And she regrets it. So yeah. Hope it wasn't too weird and/or boring!


	29. Chapter 29

Jasper's POV

_B stomped into the living room and grabbed her jacket out of the closet. We three guys turned and looked at her with surprise. _

_"I'm going home," she announced. "I'm big enough to do things on my own now."_

_"No you're not," snorted Emmett. "You're 10."_

_B's eyes narrowed. "You do stuff by yourself all the time and you're not supposed to."_

_He frowned. "That's different."_

_"Yeah," jumped in Edward. "We're 15. We're allowed to do stuff on our own. This is an age thing."_

_"I'm still going home," growled B. She pulled her jacket on and left, the door slamming shut behind her. _

_I looked up at the guys then hurried after B. I was supposed to stay with her. That was the rule. I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door behind her. _

_B was a couple houses down already, walking through the rain, her hood up. I ran to catch up with her. "Bella, wait," I shouted. She turned and frowned at me. _

_"Why are you here?"_

_"I stay with you, remember?"_

_She rolled her eyes and stuck out her hand. I took it with a grin and we set off. _

_The Cullen's new house was farther away from ours than their old house had been. The new one was in the woods and there was a long winding driveway before we got to the actual road. After that, I had no idea how to get home, but B seemed to be pretty sure of herself. _

_By the time we got to the road, we were soaked and I was wishing I'd stayed in the warm dry house. I was pretty sure Emmett and Edward would have let me play their video game by now. Instead, here I was, walking through puddles and shivering. _

_We walked for what felt like forever before a car finally pulled up alongside us and the passenger window rolled down. A young woman with red hair looked out at us with concern. "Are you two lost?"_

_"No, we're walking home," B said, not slowing down. "I know how to get there."_

_The woman looked at the person behind the wheel, a man. "Are you sure? It's cold and rainy. Why don't we give you a ride?"_

_We were not supposed to take rides from strangers, that I knew for sure. I gave the lady a half hearted smile and kept walking. B stopped though. _

_"Sure. It's not far." She reached up and grabbed the handle of the back door and we climbed in, dripping water on their seats. _

_My mind was racing in panic as I thought about how much trouble we were going to be in when Daddy got home or came and found us. B just gave the lady directions to our house. _

_"Will you be able to get in?" she asked with concern when B told her we were doing things on our own right now, that no one else would be there. _

_"There's a hidden key," she shrugged. _

_We were going to be in so much trouble. _

_The lady and her husband drove us to the house and watched until we got inside. I headed upstairs to put on some dry clothes while B hung up our jackets. I was standing in my underwear when the front door banged open and I could hear Daddy's voice. _

_"Bella? Jasper?" _

_I frowned. I guess B came upstairs. I headed into the upstairs hall. "I'm up here Daddy," I called. _

_Daddy's face appeared at the bottom of the steps and at first he looked angry but then something else was on his face. He climbed the steps two at a time and pulled me into a hug. B came out of her room wearing dry pants and a t-shirt. He grabbed her and crushed her against him. _

_"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" he demanded. "I was frantic when I couldn't find you."_

_He crushed us against him again. "That being said, you're both in trouble." _

_I sighed. I knew it. I should have stayed behind. _

We four sat in the living room quietly. It was official: Alice and I were emancipated. It felt…weird. Nothing had _really_ changed, except for the fact that now, Alice and I could legally get our own place.

"Do you want to stay here?" B was asking.

Alice and I looked at each other quickly. "We'd like to stay here," she said softly. I squeezed her hand.

It had gotten some easier to be around Ceci after the near disastrous night we'd had with her. She'd cried all night, no matter what we did. Clean diapers, warm milk, a pacifier, nothing had satisfied her. We'd been basically zombies when B and Edward returned the next morning, looking refreshed. Alice now saw the prudence in not trying to get our baby back. She'd even gotten B to take her to the doctor so she could get on birth control, which meant she was having sex with me again. We were both too scared to have sex with just condoms again, so it had been a while.

Edward leaned forward. "That's fine. You're always welcome here."

"We'll help out more," I added. "I can contribute money to the family from work, we'll watch Ceci whenever."

B rolled her eyes. "Your money is for you. You'll need it for college. And you need to be kids. Ceci is our responsibility, though we will probably take you up on that once in a while."

Alice squeezed my hand. "So we can stay?"

"Of course you can," grinned Edward. "We love having you two around. Keeps B from turning all her frustrations on me."

She kicked him and laughed. "I take them out on you because they're your fault."

He rolled his eyes. "See what you'd be leaving me with? She's only nice to me when you're around."

I laughed. That sounded about right. Dad always described B as feisty. Alice leaned back in her seat and smiled. Things were going to be ok.

Edward's POV

I yawned as I pulled off my shirt. B was sitting in the rocking chair nursing. It seemed like she was always nursing.

"How was your day?" I asked, leaning down and kissing Ceci's cheek, then B's mouth on my way back up.

"Fine," she smiled at me. "I didn't cry today. I think that's the first time in ages."

I grinned. "Congratulations."

She chuckled. "Yours?"

I stepped into the closet to toss my shirt in the laundry basket and hang my pants up. "Not too bad. Dad wants me to bring Ceci to the hospital tomorrow so he can show her off."

B laughed. "He did that when she was born. We probably saw half the hospital while we were there."

I shrugged as I shut the door behind me. "He's apparently planning on doing this regularly. She's his only grandchild, B. Plus, a hospital's not the worst place for a baby."

She nodded and shrugged. "Well, I can bring her up sometime. You'd have to drive back and forth so let me come. I haven't seen Carlisle in a while anyway." She shifted Ceci to another breast and yawned herself. "Just call when you want us to come. I'll dress her up in that cute little lady bug dress your mom gave us and we'll take the hospital by storm."

I grinned and headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Bella's POV

I shifted Ceci around in my arms. She was getting heavier, to the point where I didn't like to stand and hold her for long periods. She smiled up at anyone who stopped to coo at her and I beamed. My daughter had obviously gotten her people skills from her daddy.

"Bella!"

I looked up and Carlisle was beaming at me. He pulled me into a hug and then took Ceci from me. "How's my girl?"

I laughed. "She eats a lot and seems to be pretty happy overall."

"Good." He grinned. "Come on, I don't' want to keep you too long, but there's lots of people we have to see."

We started in the nursery. The nurses there cooed at Ceci, exclaiming over how beautiful she was and how much she'd grown in the past few months. We wandered through the cardiac center and the nurses and patients there were enchanted. Everywhere we went, Carlisle proudly showed off his granddaughter and me, introducing me as his daughter. I swallowed back a lump in my throat at that.

While we were in the hyperbarics department, Carlisle got paged so we were left with Dr. White, a big and tall older doctor with a bushy beard and kind eyes. He took Ceci from me and made faces at her, making her smile and laugh. Her fists were waving around in the air uncoordinatedly and I chuckled.

"Watch out, Dr. White, she can be fierce with those hands."

He grinned at me and straightened his glasses that Ceci had managed to knock slightly askew. "Oh, don't worry. I know what these little things can do." He took one of Ceci's hands and pretended to eat it, causing more squeals of laughter. He lifted her shirt and blew a raspberry on her belly, causing a full belly laugh I hadn't heard out of her before. Clearly, Dr. White was a born father and grandfather.

We chatted for the 20 or so minutes that we were in there waiting for Carlisle. The patient in the chamber smiled and wiggled his fingers at Ceci, who beamed at him. I learned that Dr. White had been married for nearly 40 years and had five children, three of whom were married with children of their own. They all lived far away so he didn't get to see his grandkids very often. He'd just moved to town, thinking he'd retire, but ended up working in the hyperbarics after a few months of driving his wife crazy.

"Sorry about that," grinned Carlisle, coming in finally. "No emergency but something that needed to be tended to. We've got a couple more stops before we're joining Edward for lunch."

I nodded and stood up, taking Ceci from Dr. White. She beamed at him and he put his hand under his chin and wiggled his fingers back at her, inspiring more giggles.

We met up with Edward about twenty minutes later and he took Ceci from me, grinning down at her. She rewarded him with a bright smile. He grinned at me. "She's in a good mood."

I nodded and hitched the diaper bag up on my shoulder. "Dr. White is her new boyfriend I think."

He chuckled. "That man is a born grandfather. It's a shame his kids are so far away."

I nodded. "Maybe he could be a surrogate grandfather for her. She won't mind having two, I'm sure."

Carlisle grinned. "I don't mind sharing as long as there's more grandbabies coming."

I froze and stared at him. "Seriously? Carlisle, she's 10 weeks old. Give my uterus a break."

He laughed and led the way to the little café on the first floor where we were having lunch.

***

Tali: Yes, I really did walk home from someone's house and hitch a ride with a stranger. I wasn't 10, though, I was about 5 and my brother was about 2. Maybe 3 and 6, but the point is we were way too young to be hitchhiking. It wasn't far, maybe half a mile, but we did it at Christmas time. My parents were so mad I was grounded from the TV the rest of the Christmas break. That was a big deal because we only had a TV at Christmas. I'd stand out on the back porch and watch through the huge window over the couch and watch that way. I saw _Die Hard_ without the sound.

Dr. White is my dad. Big and tall, bushy beard (he never kept it neatly trimmed unless Mom fussed at him about it), glasses and loved kids. The faces, the raspberries, the fingers, all things he did. He loved to take us as babies up to the hospital and show us off and he'd take our nephews and niece up there too, long after he retired. In fact, he took my niece up there a few weeks before he died. The line about "I know what these little things can do" is a direct quote. A woman who was a friend of his at the hospital was telling me about him meeting her granddaughter a few years ago and she was older than Ceci, so had more motor skills and kept grabbing his beard. Babies ALWAYS grabbed his beard.

For a better visual on him, check out my avatar. I did change the name. White is his mother's maiden name.


	30. Chapter 30

_I smiled as I watched Bella playing. Her legs dangled from the bench as she carefully picked out the notes. Her small face screwed up in concentration as she looked at the notes on the page. _

_"Charlie."_

_I turned and smiled at Esme. "Hi, Esme. How was it?"_

_"She's wonderful." She gestured for me to follow her into the kitchen. She offered me a glass of water which I gladly took. "Charlie, she's got real talent. You should make her keep taking lessons."_

_I raised my eyebrows at her. "Make her?"_

_She chuckled softly. "She'll want to quit someday and I think it would be a real shame if you let her. She's talented like I've never seen in a five-year-old."_

_I grinned. "Well, I knew she was special."_

_She grinned at me. "How's everything else?"_

_I sighed and stared into the glass. "Not great. Renee's talking about leaving again." _

_"Already? I thought for sure after Jasper was born…" she trailed off. _

_I shrugged and rubbed my face tiredly. "She's pretty much absent already. She loves the kids but she feels like it's her calling or something to go take care of the world." _

_"And that doesn't include her children?"_

_I shrugged again. _

_"Hey, Dad."_

_I grinned at Emmett. His dark hair was sticking up all over the place, much like Edward's bronze hair. Edward raised his hand in greeting, then popped Emmett in the back of the head. Emmett turned and grabbed him, the two collapsing to the floor in a pseudo-wrestling match. _

_Esme rolled her eyes. "Boys."_

_I grinned. "I almost pity the girls they end up with."_

_She laughed. "Hopefully we can tame them before that." _

_"Daddy!" _

_I turned and grinned at the blur that was Bella. I scooped her up and gave her a kiss. _

_"Wow, sweet, chocolate ice cream, Grandmother's apple pie!" we chanted. I grinned and kissed her neck, putting her down. She made an immediate bee-line to the boys and joined in on the scuffle. _

_Esme was laughing in earnest now. "Well, with Bella around, they should all be fine." _

_I grinned. "It's a future I'm looking forward to watching."_

Bella's POV

I stopped in the living room and stared towards the music room. Ceci sighed softly in my arms and managed to get her fist in her mouth. Her wide green eyes studied me for a moment as I looked down at her. I sighed and started towards the stairs. Not today.

I was trying to feed her, but something kept pulling me towards the piano. I growled with frustration and headed back downstairs.

I held her in front of me, her back pressed against my chest. We stood in front of the piano and stared at it. I sighed and forced myself to sit down. Why I was here, I didn't really know. Ceci waved her arms around and made contact with the keys. I heard a little laugh from her and I smiled, kissing the top of her head.

I reached towards the keys with one hand. Why today? Why the sudden urge today of all days? I positioned my hand in the right place and slowly played the first notes. Ceci leaned forward against my grip, watching with interest. I switched hands and played the lower part, switching back and forth, slowly picking my way through the piece, playing only the melody. I felt the tears on my face but didn't feel myself crying. I hurt so bad, my heart ached.

Dad should be here. He should be holding my daughter while I played. He should be reading her stories and kissing her and giving her baths and putting her to bed. I stopped and wrapped both arms around her tiny frame, crying in earnest now. I couldn't do anything but hold on to her and cry. Suddenly, I felt arms around me and I could smell E. I leaned into him and cried.

"He should be here."

"I know." He rubbed my back gently.

Edward's POV

B was quiet the rest of the day. Jasper and Alice came home from school, subdued in their own way. Today was rough for everyone. We waited to eat dinner until Rose and Em got there with Charlie. B picked at her spaghetti, not really eating. She finally got up and headed upstairs before returning with Ceci. We all looked at them expectantly as she stood in the doorway.

"I'm going to go talk to Dad," she announced. "Today's the anniversary, I'm going to go see him."

"I'm coming with you," Em pushed back in his seat and picked up Charlie and followed her out. The rest of us exchanged glances before following them into the dusky yard.

B and Em were sitting on the grass next to the rosebush they'd planted last year. I sat behind B and put my hand on her shoulders. Rose settled next to Em and Jasper and Alice finished out our little circle.

"Hi, Dad," said B softly. "This is your granddaughter and your grandson, Cecilia Skipper and Charles Emmett. I'm sure you've met, but…here they are." The babies drooled a little and I grinned, squeezing B's shoulders.

"Charlie is a lot like you, Dad," Emmett started. "He's kind of bossy and opinionated, but that could be Rose's genes, too."

Rose pushed his arm lightly and Alice grinned.

"But they both have your nose, Dad, it's the weirdest thing," B cut in.

We all sat in silence for a bit. The sun was completely gone now and there was a slight breeze, heavy with the scent of rain. I looked up and saw the dark gray clouds obscuring the stars. B noticed and sighed.

"Dad, we have to go in. it's about to rain." No one moved. B's shoulders shook slightly. "Daddy, I miss you so much," she sobbed softly.

I reached around her and took Ceci. Rose did the same with Charlie and let Em and Jasper pull B into a family hug. Alice came over and sat between us, her arms around our waists. A moment later, B broke out of the trio and reached for us. We three joined in the hug, settling the babies on the grass between us and crowding around them. Charlie Swan's family would never forget him.

***

Tali: So, I thought I'd give you a different memory this time, something from Charlie's perspective. This is also somewhat of a truth. My mother told me that after about 2 or 3 lessons, my piano teacher told her that I had real talent and that she shouldn't let me quit. So, I was forced to take lessons between the ages of 5 and 14, then again at 15 as part of some therapy for my dad and again in college for my performing arts credit. I am the only one of my dad's children with any real musical abilities, something from his side of the family, and as a result, the only one who played any duets with him. I got to play two piano duets with my dad.

I'm not sure what I'll do on the anniversary of my dad's death or how I'll start telling my children about him. They'll definitely know, though, because of the pictures around my home and some of his vast collection of owls (his college mascot) and elephants (he loved to tell elephant jokes). It'll be hard to talk about him, but I hope that they'll know that he loved them before they were born, or even conceived, as odd as that sounds.


	31. Chapter 31

Tali: This is basically one big author's note. Warning: It may make you cry…

I remember…

I remember being very small and curling up on the couch after church with Dad to read the comics every week, even when I was reading them over his shoulder. He'd fuss at me for reading ahead. Maybe that's why I hate people reading over my shoulder today. I don't remember a Sunday we didn't read the comics.

I remember him making a valiant effort to be at every school event and piano recital that I participated in. When he wasn't there, I bragged to the other kids that my dad was off saving lives.

I remember his asking "You know what?" and when I said "What?" he'd always respond with "I love you!" I surprised him once by saying "Chicken butt" but he still said "I love you!"

I remember being excited when Dad would let me drop the tithe check into the collection plate every Sunday.

I remember Dad giving me his coat on Sunday mornings when I'd get cold. I'd go through his pockets and play with the treasures he had in them. Sometimes, I'd just curl up and take a nap on the floor, wrapped up in the warmth and smell of my dad. He still gave me his coat even after I was old enough to remember to bring my own.

I remember one Father's Day a long time ago at ACC where we were instructed to let the father pass around the communion. He was to tell us "This is the blood of Christ" and "This is the body of Christ." Dad liked that so much that he did it for the rest of his life. I have a hard time doing communion without him.

I remember him only having to spank me once. I don't remember what I did but I was more shocked by the fact that he hit me than by anything. I knew he loved me and that I had earned this punishment and that I never wanted it again.

I remember his reading to me all the time. The only stories I remember specifically were Little Monster's Bedtime Book and the Chronicles of Narnia. Once a friend came over early for my birthday party and we were reading. She curled up on the other side of Dad and he read to both of us until the party started. She told me later she wished her dad would read to her and I realized I had something special. I was 7.

I remember falling asleep in the car on the way home from anywhere and waking up in his arms as he carried me inside. I loved it so much that I would sometimes pretend to be asleep just so he would carry me. I hated when I got too big for him to carry me anymore.

I remember him getting us up for school in the morning, flipping on the light in my room and telling me it was time to wake up. When I got downstairs, he'd usually have breakfast ready to go, either oatmeal or cereal or if we were really lucky, French toast. He'd go outside to warm up the car when it was cold outside so we didn't have to shiver on the way to school. We'd listen to NPR and classical music on the way and he'd talk to us about the things going on. When we carpooled with the Kings, we listened to the kids' station with silly goofy songs and I realized my dad wanted me to learn about the world around me and know about classical music.

I remember him driving us to school and listening to the announcement that Bill Clinton had been elected president and asking if Dad voted for him. He told me it wasn't generally something a lot of people felt comfortable talking about, but no, he didn't vote for him. He also pointed out that it didn't matter that he hadn't voted for him, he was still our president and thus deserving of our respect.

I remember hating playing the piano, but loving how proud it made Dad to see me playing in recitals and the goofy faces he'd make at me through the doors to the music room.

I remember playing two duets with him: one as an awkward adolescent and the other as a frustrated teenager. I never told him how much I valued that I alone of his children got to do that with him.

I remember as an older teen dreaming of weddings and happily ever afters asking what his favorite song was. We were listening to Natalie Cole's album "Unforgettable, With Love" and he told me he really loved the song on that cd, Unforgettable and explained how Nat King Cole died and that Natalie had taken old recordings of her dad singing and had turned it into a duet. He thought about it for a bit and told me that his all time favorite, though, was The Way You Look Tonight. We danced to that at my wedding.

I remember when I was about 12 we were home alone, just the two of us, for a weekend. It didn't happen often, so that was kind of special in itself. We went to bed early on Saturday because he was driving me out to Girl Scout camp in Sweetwater the next day. In the middle of the night, there was a loud crash that shook the whole house and woke us both up. I thought there'd been an earthquake or something but the big tree in the back had fallen over into the courtyard. It was like walking in a tree. Dad was relieved no one else was home because C would have gotten scared and Mom would have been blocked in. I was just relieved it didn't hit the house.

I remember that he didn't like to watch movies more than once but he would watch classics again and he loved the movie Chariots of Fire. When I went to Great Britain and walked along the beach where that famous running scene was filmed, I knew what the movie was when no one else in my group had even heard of it.

I remember several times being told I was his favorite. I always teased that my sister was the favorite because she was chosen and he got stuck with the rest of us.

I remember once my dad describing feeling real joy as he held one of his children moments after birth and my mom asking if that's why he named her Joy. I wondered if secretly I'd been the favorite all along.

I remember that I had to stop going shopping with Dad because I could get him to buy me just about anything I wanted.

I remember being shocked when I saw him lying in a hospital bed all hooked up to wires when he had his brain aneurysms. I couldn't believe this fragile body belonged to my dad. It never seemed very real to me that he could die. He was dad: he was going to be around forever.

I remember being frustrated that he wasn't the same after and wishing he'd just go back to normal.

I remember being angry that I could only take two classes my freshman year of high school so that I could take care of Dad after school while Mom worked.

I remember feeling guilty at how relieved I was when other people stepped in and helped and feeling like I let Mom down because I didn't help enough.

I remember taking racquetball as a PE course for distance learning and Dad doing that with me. I wasn't very good because I was afraid of getting hit by the ball.

I remember taking physics in high school and absolutely hating it because I didn't get it. Dad was frustrated with that since he loved physics so much and had advanced degrees in it. He would sit with me for hours and try to explain it and eventually I would get him to do the work for me. He's the main reason I passed the class.

I remember him taking me on a real date when I was about 15. We went to the Olive Garden, we played putt-putt and we went to a movie. He told me I wasn't a cheap date and that any guy who didn't want to spend the money wasn't worth my time.

I remember getting ready for the few dances I went to in high school and Dad saying 'Wowwee!" every single time.

I remember how much he loved astronomy and how he tried to teach me about constellations. He would take me star gazing whenever there were meteor showers. We made it a semi-regular date and I'd make grilled cheese sandwiches and hot cocoa and we'd sit on the car and look at the stars and talk. To this day, the only constellation I can find on a consistent basis is Orion.

I remember my senior prom and how excited Dad was that I had an actual date. He told me that if my date knew anything about anything he'd bring me an orchid. Dad was so proud when he showed up with a beautiful purple orchid wrist corsage.

I remember him being proud of me when I graduated from high school, but that pride was tempered by anger at my cousin and my brother disappearing right after, causing us all to be delayed getting home.

I remember him trying to help me with my college math classes and finally accepting that I couldn't do this advanced stuff, that my brain was better at the social studies than the sciences.

I remember him meeting my first boyfriend and telling Mom he was a fine young man.

I remember his disappointment when I broke up with that boyfriend.

I remember him trying to like the next guy I brought home and not succeeding.

I remember him helping Mom and her siblings pack up their parents' house and grumbling at the stupid Christmas tree I wanted so much, but bringing it along just because I wanted it.

I remember graduating from college and his pride that I had done it and with some honors.

I remember his frustration when they called me Talitha Jane.

I remember him helping me move to Austin. He grumbled about the tree again. He helped move the furniture out of the house in Lubbock and into the apartment in Austin. I remember dealing with two flat tires and the hurt of my roommates seemingly not caring that I was leaving, but knowing that my dad would always be there for me.

I remember Dad was always there when I moved: into the house in Lubbock, to the apartment in Austin, to the first apartment in Dallas, across the complex to the second Dallas apartment, and to the house in Carrollton. He grumbled about the Christmas tree every time and always offered to throw it away for me.

I remember the kisses that always ended with "Wow! Sweet! Chocolate ice cream! Grandmother's apple pie!" to which we would sometimes add "With whipped cream and sugar!" and he would go further and add "And nuts!"

I remember the way he would say "Choooclaaate."

I remember him telling me not to smile or my face would crack into a million pieces and how 99% of the time I smiled.

I remember he called me Tali-poo and Brown Crested Speckled Thumb Sucker.

I remember getting in trouble on our family trip to the four corners and my punishment was having to sit up in the front with Dad overnight and keep him awake. We watched the sunrise over the desert and it was beautiful. He asked me to write him a poem about it and I did. I'm sure there's a copy of it somewhere.

I remember how much he and Tigger hated one another.

I remember him always answering "Better than I deserve" whenever someone asked him how he was.

I remember how excited he was when I told him I was going to marry A. So excited, in fact, that he jumped the gun 6 months before A even proposed and emailed Pastor M to ask if he would officiate over the ceremony.

I remember him repeatedly telling me it wasn't too late to back out, that they loved A but they loved me more and I should do what was right for me.

I remember his pride and loving support as we planned the wedding and I struggled with work stuff.

I remember being sick the week before the wedding and him driving to get me milkshakes every day because it was the only thing I wanted and the only thing that tasted good. He frequently got the wrong thing, but I loved it because I knew he did it for me.

I remember his pride as he came to get me to walk down the aisle.

I remember every time I cut my hair for Locks of Love he would frown. He loved my hair long but would always tell me how proud he was of me for donating my hair to others.

I remember one last "Wow!" kiss before getting married.

I remember him asking me if I liked chicken and when I asked why, he stuck out his arm and said "Take a wing."

I remember writing my Daddy Folio letter and agonizing over it for a couple months, wanting to get the words just right.

I remember him blessing me at my wedding, though I was too emotional to really hear the words.

I remember him holding me tightly as we danced at the reception, like he didn't want to let me go.

I remember waffling between several songs for our dance and settling on his favorite.

I remember telling him I didn't have a gift for his birthday, but that I wanted to go bowling with him and him telling me his knees were too far gone for that anymore.

I remember asking what he wanted for Christmas this year and him telling me he just wanted everyone there. I told him this Christmas was with the in-laws but that next year would be with the family and I'd most likely be pregnant. He was indignant that my child's first Christmas would be with his OTHER grandparents and not him.

I remember our last conversation. He called to check if I knew what was going on with some friends of his and I didn't know anything. I wanted to talk but he was busy. He did sign off by telling me he loved me. I'm so glad my last words to him were "Love you too."

I remember my brother asking me if I was sitting down and then telling me our father had died. I didn't  
believe him and he had to repeat it before my mom finally came on, sobbing, and telling me he was gone. It's still not real.

I remember the last time I saw him, cold and still and looking completely surprised. I lay across his chest and wished that he'd hug me back.

I remember R holding my hand and telling me how he would talk about me all the time and how proud and excited he was about what I was doing with my life and how when I was little, he'd always tell her to make sure I ate when he dropped me off at her house in the mornings.

I remember being incredibly angry when L sat in Dad's chair that night. He wasn't family and he was intruding.

I remember agreeing with my sister when she said he was a beautiful man and deserved beautiful flowers.

I remember crying as I realized he would never play Fur Elise again and wanting to play it for him one last time.

I remember being amazed at how I didn't cry during my eulogy and that I could get through my piano pieces and thinking "I don't want to play any more after this."

I remember hugging Boonier, his teddy bear, and making sure to treat it with all the love and respect he would have wanted me to.

I remember being angry that outsiders to the family were taking his belongings. I wanted to rip the owls and everything out of their hands and scream that they didn't deserve this and they should get the hell out of my father's house.

I remember the first time it hit me that my father would never see my children and how much I cried that they'd never have their granddad read them a story.

I remember the last time I held him on this earth. I marveled at how greasy the ashes were and how much, and at the same time how little, there were. I cried as I let the last of his ashes be washed from my hands and wished I was hugging him instead.

I remember sitting in his car for the first time after he died. He was so tall, 6'2, and I'm so much shorter, 5'6, that I felt like I was sitting in the back seat. I didn't want to move it and I cried as I drove to the church for the service.

I remember seeing my niece being born and thinking "She's late because he wasn't ready to let her go yet." I was angry again that she'd never get to know him.

I remember the regret hitting me that I'd never played the Moonlight Sonata for him and that he never knew how much I loved playing for him.

I remember thinking this would make me feel better instead of making me hurt more.

***

Tali: So, this is something I wrote up as a way of dealing with my grief. A lot of these memories were used in the story. I took out the names of people for privacy, except for my own. My full name is Talitha Joy and my mom wanted to name me Talitha Jane. My dad fought her on that and won with Joy.

The anger at L for sitting in Dad's chair was because he's a guy renting an apartment at my parents' house and he was there the night Dad died. None of us could bring ourselves to sit in Dad's seat at the dining table as we gathered to just kind of be together and figure out what the fuck came next. He just waltzed in, grabbed a plate of food and sat down. He's somewhat close to my parents so I guess he felt like he was probably welcome, but all of us kids were angry.

Tigger is my cat. I've had him since the summer of 2000 and he and Dad HATED each other with a passion. Tigger hates everyone, really, but I think there was a special place in his heart for Dad. He lived with my parents the three years I lived away at college and Dad would always point out the wounds that Tigger had given him. There was a story he loved to tell about kicking Tigger in his bullseye (he's a tabby) as he was heading downstairs one night when Tigger had leaped out to attack. Even years later, whenever Dad came to visit, Tigger would swipe at him.

I'm happy to explain anything that you may have questions on. A lot of these are kind of like inside jokes in a way, but I'm happy to explain the inside jokes.

Some may ask for a sequel, but to be honest, I'm not sure what happens next. I'm still dealing with the first year after my dad's death. He died May 21 and as I type this, it's October 15. I'm anticipating this being posted on the 31st, so it will have only been five months. I know things will get some easier, I know there will be a day when I don't cry over something ridiculous. I'm just not there yet. I'm like Bella (or I guess she's like me) in that I may be putting out a brave façade, but I feel so broken inside. I feel like I'm being held together with bubble gum and wishes, like she told Alice. I'm anticipating and dreading the birth of my first child someday because my dad won't be there to tell me his or her ranking in the prettiest baby in the world contest (will be tied for second, beyond a doubt). He won't be there to read stories or kiss them or take them to movies or to get ice cream. It kills me that he won't be able to parade my children around the hospital, bragging to all the doctors and nurses about what beautiful grandbabies he has.

The five stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I was in denial for the first few days, I've been angry pretty much since then, I've been willing to trade just about anything to have him back, and I've dealt with depression for years. I've accepted that he's not coming back, that he's really dead, but I still get angry when I see my nephews and my nieces and think about my own children and my brother and the possibility of his children and all that they're all missing out on. The depression is like a dark shadow that keeps trying to take over my life and it's a hard fight and most days I feel like just giving in and letting it take over, curling in on myself and just crying until I have no more tears. That's not productive, so I don't do it. Instead, I write.

So, thank you to all who've read my little story and for all your words of support. I love the reviews and that you've favorited and story alerted me. It makes me feel like it's not a complete waste of time to write out what I'm thinking and feeling and project it onto fictional characters. If I've helped you in some small way, then it definitely wasn't worth it. It amazes me how many people wrote me saying that they understood how I felt and what I was going through because they were going through something similar in their lives. I hope that I did our grief justice and that someday, we will look back, not with tears and heartache alone, but with love and smiles and joy for lives well lived, lives that greatly affected us for the better.

I'm a fan of all of you, too.

Tali


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